FACT-CHECKING THEMSELVES  2:42 pm October 6, 2010

Todd Palin E-mail No Big Deal Because Palins Say It Isn’t

by Jack Stuef

Best depicted in crayon on a wingnut's living room wall.Todd and Sarah Palin have responded to the leak of Todd’s e-mail to Joe Miller yesterday, and it’s basically, “What? That wasn’t controversial. Lamestream media!” Earlier this afternoon, Todd sent a message to The Weekly Standard, saying his “wires got crossed” with Joe Miller (is that a sex thing?) and that “Joe hadn’t said anything like what I’d been told.” Except Joe Miller obviously did say something like what he’d been told, BECAUSE HE DIDN’T SAY HE WAS ENDORSING SARAH FOR PRESIDENT. The Palins want to say it’s a simple misunderstanding, so the lamestream media should simply follow along and do exactly what the Palins say. But more importantly, Todd Palin is mad at you, Wonketteers, for finding and posting his e-mail address.

Here’s the statement:

My family has worked hard in supporting Joe Miller, so when I heard he’d said something less than supportive of my wife’s efforts, I responded. But it turns out we’d gotten our wires crossed and Joe hadn’t said anything like what I’d been told. So there’s no story here except the fact that the press put our personal emails online again, and again couldn’t even be bothered to conceal our email addresses or take any steps to protect our privacy.

Well, the site that leaked the e-mail, The Mudflats, did try to conceal those personal e-mail addresses. But a Wonkette commenter discovered you could get them from the document anyway, and now Todd Palin’s e-mail address is on the Internet. The Mudflats then took down the document and put up a copy that was not text-based, but the damage was done. Now stop sending Todd Palin photos of your genitals and cats, Wonketteers. Todd Palin is obviously annoyed.

Sarah Palin tweeted this about the subject:

That apostrophe at the end is sure helping you displce a lot of letters, Sara'.

Does she mean “There’s no there there”? Isn’t “there, there” an old thing to say to comfort a sad child or puppy? Whatever. If a Palin says it, it must be true. [Weekly Standard/Twitter]

 
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{ 106 comments }

Fare la Volpe October 6, 2010 at 2:47 pm

"Now stop sending Todd Palin photos of your genitals and cats, Wonketteers"

Not like he's seeing a pussy any other way.

iburl October 6, 2010 at 2:55 pm

At least not one without human teeth

CthuNHu October 6, 2010 at 3:29 pm

Maybe he is seeing pussy some other way —

Following the Google link leads to three results right now: the pdf, Wonkette, and this [NSFW!!]

bumfug October 6, 2010 at 2:47 pm

I think he meant "protect our privacy unless we're getting paid."

kenlayisalive October 6, 2010 at 2:48 pm

But still cool to send picture's of our cat's genitals, right?

Because I didn't get all these scratch marks for nothing I hope.

Extemporanus October 6, 2010 at 2:53 pm

Cats have genitals?!

Well, there goes my afternoon!

ph7 October 6, 2010 at 2:49 pm

I'm pleased to hear my communiqué reached Todd's inner sanctum.

DashboardBuddha October 6, 2010 at 2:51 pm

To: Palins
From: The reality based world
Date: 10/6/2010
RE: Privacy

Todd, you and the rest of the Wassilla Hillbillies have made yourselves public figures. You have no privacy. Get used to it.

Wadisay October 6, 2010 at 3:05 pm

The First Amendment protects the Palins from press. Read your constitution.

MoeDeLawn October 6, 2010 at 2:51 pm

Obamar needs to confiscate all Palin punctuation and give to health care czars so it can be distributed appropriately.

Extemporanus October 6, 2010 at 2:52 pm

These aren't the tards we're looking for…

Krugmanic Depressive October 6, 2010 at 2:53 pm

Fucking up high modernist bon mots? She's PalinStein's monster.

V572625694 October 6, 2010 at 3:03 pm

Who knew Todd could quote old Gertrude? Maybe there's some "there" there.

Nah…fuggedaboutit.

archikvetch October 6, 2010 at 2:54 pm

paraphrasing the lesbians will cause armanhammergedon

natoslug October 6, 2010 at 2:55 pm

I'm' n'ot sen'din' m'y gnitales pitchers' of Todd's Impa'lin, know how, no whey.

user-of-owls October 7, 2010 at 2:28 pm

Tell it to Little Miss Muffett.

Crank_Tango October 6, 2010 at 2:55 pm

thank you for sparing me the time of making the same comment. WTF?

Terry October 6, 2010 at 2:56 pm

So, do you think the Palins' lawyer had contacted the editors at the Mudflats yet?

sussemilch October 6, 2010 at 2:57 pm

Shoe's.

sussemilch October 6, 2010 at 3:13 pm

I made sure to update his Wikipedia page under misc., noting his inability to distinguish plurals and possessives and providing the email as reference.

the_onceler October 6, 2010 at 2:58 pm

What does Sarah Palin have against Oakland? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gertrude_Stein

BerkeleyBear October 6, 2010 at 9:15 pm

You think she had a clue she was qouting Gertie Stein and not Yogi Berra? No damn chance.

BTW, Oakland still is defensive about that, even though Ms. Stein insisted i twas about her memories rather than anything negative about the city.

Gratuitous World October 6, 2010 at 2:58 pm

they should protect the palins' privacy by putting that Dancin' show on closed-circuit tv

Buzz Feedback October 6, 2010 at 2:58 pm

Imagine the havoc Goebbels could have wreaked with a Twitter account.

DashboardBuddha October 6, 2010 at 2:59 pm

Ummm…I don't think we have to actually imagine something very much like it anymore.

Rambone October 6, 2010 at 2:58 pm

The Palins are truly 'tard-tastic!

ManchuCandidate October 6, 2010 at 2:58 pm

Todd's oafish email kinda laid bare the Snowbilly Queen's campaign to be Preznit in 2012.

I strongly suspect that petty Sarah freaked out on Todd for exposing her "plan" and banned him from the intertubes for a while. Today's Twat was more of her putting her best Tattooed upper lip forward.

mrblifil October 6, 2010 at 2:59 pm

Like, what would I do with either Joe Miller's or Todd Palin's email addresses if I WERE able to glean them from a pdf document…

jus_wonderin October 6, 2010 at 3:14 pm

Enter his name in those "Win a free laptop" pop-ups or subscribe either of them to Sexy Farm Animals Monthly. Or, give it to the Nigerian Uncle that wants to give away one million dollars (that just happens to be sitting idle in some account somewhere).

SheriffRoscoe October 6, 2010 at 3:16 pm

Put your wire in close proximity to his wire, in hopes that wires will get crossed as is their wont.

freakishlywrong October 6, 2010 at 2:59 pm

For once I agree with the snowbilly. There really is no THERE there. Now, if the LSM would just ignore them, maybe they would just go away. As if. Also.

obfuscator2 October 6, 2010 at 3:00 pm

what is the value of substituting "tryin'" for "trying"? it's the same number of characters. is it really that important to come across as "regular folks"? really, i was aware that the palins were Real Americans when they revealed themselves to be ignorant, petty, vindictive, cynical scumbags.

what a couple of assholes.

Lucidamente1 October 6, 2010 at 3:00 pm

Can I still send him photos of my cat's genitals?

axmxz October 6, 2010 at 3:01 pm

You just need to put yourself in her shoe’s Joe, and then everything will make sense. if "sense" is the word to use here.

Wadisay October 6, 2010 at 3:02 pm

Has anybody, in the history of the world, ever gotten more of a free ride from an institution they vilify than these scam artists?

JMPEsq October 6, 2010 at 3:09 pm

The media should be like those nice people at Fox and only report on the Palins' actions when it makes them look good and ignore everything else; to do otherwise is liberal bias.

Jukesgrrl October 6, 2010 at 4:20 pm

When it makes them look good … and pays them. That's the key.

She'd go on Rachel Maddow's program if her FOX contract allowed it AND Rachel paid her. Babble Spice is plenty delusional enough to believe she could successfully debate someone like Rachel. She just wouldn't show her mug on MSNBC for less than a million. Palin remembers all the homework she had to do to stand up to "Can I call you Joe?" Biden. She hates thinkin' 'n stuff, also.

Ducksworthy October 6, 2010 at 3:11 pm

Rasputin comes to mind.

Steverino247 October 6, 2010 at 3:56 pm

But Rasputin was killed. We should be so lucky.

GeneralLerong October 6, 2010 at 4:24 pm

But it took a lot of tries – knifing, poison, gun shots, drowning in an icy river, burning the remains.

Trinket October 6, 2010 at 3:02 pm

I have never been prouder to be a Wonketteer.

LionelHutzEsq October 6, 2010 at 3:02 pm

Perhaps Todd had been told that Miller had said that Sarah Palin was qualified to be President?

SudsMcKenzie October 6, 2010 at 3:03 pm

These aren't the vengeful emails your looking for …., you can go about your business.

V572625694 October 6, 2010 at 3:04 pm

The Palins' handling of this matter can only be described as ham-biscuited.

Been waiting a long time for the opportunity to use that one.

OneYieldRegular October 6, 2010 at 3:04 pm

The title of tomorrow's Ken Layne post concerning everything that's awful in the United States of 2010:

"2010: There's no "There, there" in America."

BornInATrailer October 6, 2010 at 3:05 pm

Question, how did these two manage to have any children that were *not* retarded?

Lascauxcaveman October 6, 2010 at 3:36 pm

Did they?

Steverino247 October 6, 2010 at 3:57 pm

"Regression to the mean" is the principle you're looking for.

AutomaticPilot October 6, 2010 at 4:33 pm

The jury is still out on that. We know about Trig. We know for sure that Bristol is no Rhodes Scholar. We don't yet know enough about Trick and Pooper. Am I leaving anyone out? Ah, who the hell cares…

SayItWithWookies October 6, 2010 at 3:06 pm

You know how you never invite idiots over to your parties because when two of them get a little tipsy they always end up fighting, and after you sort shit out it turns out to be over what one of 'em thought the other one said but didn't, and then you tell 'em if they'd taken a minute or two to just figure out what the truth was none of their stupid drama would've ever happened, and then to compensate for their own idiocy they start bitching about how everybody's all up in their business, and then after the second or third go 'round of this you just stop having them over? Anyway, this is just a roundabout way of introducing my DWTS spinoff, Shitkicking in the Dark with Has-Beens. On the Teabagger channel, 24/7, bitches — watch it.

jus_wonderin October 6, 2010 at 3:35 pm

I do think I would watch that if it had a Drinking Game aspect to it. And instead of voting off the contestants we actually get to kick them off.

NorthStarSpanx October 7, 2010 at 2:35 pm

They had epic fights in Bristol Bay back in the day. Both drinking and cheating with impunity. Good times. . .Todd often sported LOTSO scratches and bruises. Until they grew up more and matured and took it out on the refrigerator door instead.

doxastic October 6, 2010 at 3:06 pm

"there, there"

One of Todd's extra apostrophes just wandered away and got itself stuck upside-down in Sarah's Twitters. Incidentally, that's how Trig was conceived.

OneDollarJuana October 6, 2010 at 3:43 pm

He really meant "their, they're".

WarAndGee October 6, 2010 at 3:07 pm

"or take any steps to protect our privacy."

PRIVACY! You stupid childish FUCKERS are media whores. You want to be in my face all the time!

(I'm close to being fired because i yelled this at the top of my lungs and now little eyes are peering over cubicle walls)

Missyb9479 October 6, 2010 at 3:07 pm

Of course Sarah had a typo. She only worked on that facebook post for 18 hours. It was a rush hour by her normal standards.

elviouslyqueer October 6, 2010 at 3:08 pm

Well, I may not have any dick pics or Lolcatz images handy, but I'm thinking Todd would appreciate my metric ton of tentacle porn, you betcha!

kenlayisalive October 6, 2010 at 3:09 pm

I don't know it that is true. Considering my cat get's mad at me for days for kicking it and it's poop paws off the kitchen counter, I kind of think that it would get irreversibly mad for getting a stabby hook way up in it's cat-gina.

But they do seem to fuck a lot so…what do I know. I mean, what I know about cat fucking – well, let's just say I haven't done the research that Carl Paladino has.

Extemporanus October 6, 2010 at 3:15 pm

It's not true — the truth is worse:

"The female will utter a loud yowl as the male pulls out of her. This is because a male cat's penis has a band of about 120-150 backwards-pointing spines, which are about one millimeter long; upon withdrawal of the penis, the spines rake the walls of the female's vagina, which is a trigger for ovulation. This act also occurs to clear the vagina from other sperm in the context of a 2nd (or more) mating, thus giving the latter males a larger chance of conception.

After mating, the female will wash her vulva thoroughly. If a male attempts to breed with her at this point, the female will attack him. After about 20 to 30 minutes, once the female is finished grooming, the cycle will repeat."

Thank goodness I read that when I did, or I'd have one very pissed-off pussy on my prick.

The more you know!

kenlayisalive October 6, 2010 at 3:32 pm

Today from intelligent design: dicks covered in needles.

Thanks god!

OneDollarJuana October 6, 2010 at 3:39 pm

One thing I learnt from this is that male cats are lousy lovers, and the female cats have to finish themselves off with a little oral self-love. Are you listening, Christine?

DashboardBuddha October 6, 2010 at 3:45 pm

Thanks Extem…I think. I'd like to see who sat on the design committee for that one when god was putting the whole thing together.

God: Ok, next up cats. They're mammals…any suggestions that their mating should be different in any way?

Archangel Mike: We should put spines on the male's penis.

God: Dear me…why would you do such a thing?

Archangel Mike: I fuckin' hate cats.

God: But what about the humans that are kept away by the cries?

Archangel Mike: I fuckin' hate them too.

God: Sounds good to me. Draw up a blueprint and I'll make it happen.

Extemporanus October 6, 2010 at 4:24 pm

HA!

I'm guessing the design committee looked something like THIS

nachoproblem October 6, 2010 at 3:49 pm

Thank goodness I only have female cats! At least I don't have to worry about anything with a spiny dick sleeping on my head.

MrsBiggTime October 6, 2010 at 4:14 pm

If the Teabaggers win, we'll all have spiny dicks sleeping on our heads. At least their bags, anyway.

nachoproblem October 6, 2010 at 11:28 pm

Come to that, I guess something with a Spiny Dick slept on all our heads for eight years not so long ago. But at least I didn't have to pet him or play with him.

Chet Kincaid October 6, 2010 at 4:17 pm

So, the technology used to prevent rental fleet vehicles from being stolen out of the Hertz parking lot was inspired by watching cats fucking?

Extemporanus October 6, 2010 at 4:30 pm

That explains why it Hertz if I pull out too quickly.

johnnyzhivago October 6, 2010 at 3:48 pm

I'd take a picture of my cat's penis, but unfortunately I don't have the equipment to take photomicrographs.

Extemporanus October 6, 2010 at 4:44 pm

PRO TIP: If you have a female cat that you wish to drill, take a plaster cast of a male cat's penis and use it to create a dick bit for your Dremel fucking machine.

SheriffRoscoe October 6, 2010 at 3:10 pm

"We somehow got our wires crossed" sure does make it all go away. Nobody can dispute the crossing of wires which I claim took place. It's beautiful because it's so simple.

MsElla October 6, 2010 at 3:18 pm

She even drops her Gs in writing??? What a phony, stage-managed bitch.

DaSandman October 6, 2010 at 3:20 pm

The wires got crossed alright. They mixed up the one that went on the tongue with the once you placed up the ass. Some call Dick "No Pulse" Cheney and get the fucking instructions. And we're gonna need anothr heathen gay swarthy librtard terrorist for Piper to practice on.

jus_wonderin October 6, 2010 at 3:21 pm

I think "There, there" is Lady Gaga's next release. It will be a chart topper.

"Getcha there, there baby. Getcha there, there.
She turned on her heel, askin' "there, where?.
But you could see that she was bare there,
And she didn't wanna wear there,
Like nature's Mama Grizzly Bear there.

There, there. Come on getcha there, there.
Ain't no fair if you gotta use the Nair there."

Jukesgrrl October 6, 2010 at 4:23 pm

Is that you, Lady G?

__kth__ October 6, 2010 at 3:24 pm

It's an urban legend that Gertrude Stein was referring to Oakland in her famous quip. In fact, she was referring Sarah Palin's cranium.

Ruhe October 6, 2010 at 3:24 pm

Is anybody else shocked that Joe Miller didn't endorse Palin? Why wouldn't he? Is it possible that even though he hasn't won yet he's already a "Washington insider" and so is "keeping his powder dry" so that when the time comes his "options are open"? Or maybe he honestly doesn't feel he can endorse Palin because maybe he thinks she's an idiot. Or maybe the quid pro quo was supposed to include a blow job and he's still waiting for Todd to deliver.

Mumbletypeg October 6, 2010 at 3:27 pm

I was waiting for the tired excuse to be presented to Todd's Lamestream audience, a page taken from the playbook of Grizzly Joe himself, in blaming a campaign volunteer for his TweetMails gone rogue.

hooray4anything October 6, 2010 at 3:34 pm

I'm surprised Todd didn't just say that what he did was the right thing to do and thus something Jesus would say was the right thing to do

Monsieur_Grumpe October 6, 2010 at 3:34 pm

Todd is toad?

kittylittr October 6, 2010 at 4:04 pm

Yes, and he graduated in 1982 and he uses gmail. But I'm not telling you what his email address is, because that would be an invasion of the media whore's privacy.

johnnyzhivago October 6, 2010 at 3:53 pm

Stop bashing Sarah, folks!

By the time she "punches up" the TWITTER and "logs on top of it", her palms are so sweaty the ink is running and she can't read her message anymore.

skytrucker October 6, 2010 at 3:55 pm

The man said there's no story here, so why can't you people just do what you're told and stop looking for one? Have you no decency? Look, Todd is simply trying to get his wife elected President/God, so why does everybody have to make a federal case out of it? Especially the lame stream media, which is so lame. Like a stream that doesn't flow because it's crippled and can only hobble. Hahaha. Stupid stream!

Jukesgrrl October 6, 2010 at 4:38 pm

He should be shooting for Secretary of State. That way he could enjoy the Washington limelight AND have his wife out of the country for 350 days of the year. Some guy who's smarter than Todd figured that out.

PalinPussyPower October 6, 2010 at 3:59 pm

I love the folksy way she's droppin' her g's from her twitterin'. It makes her so endearin'. Also too.

neiltheblaze October 6, 2010 at 4:12 pm

For attention whores, they sure do like their privacy.

ReturnToMetal October 6, 2010 at 4:34 pm

Actually, you should say, "For privacy advocates, they sure do love their attention."

NorthStarSpanx October 7, 2010 at 2:30 pm

Which again is odd when Todd hisses to the Homer Alaska teacher and phone cam guy that "They can't get enough of her."

Then again, I think he's jealous, cause he can't get any at all from that bag of bones.

PsycWench October 6, 2010 at 4:30 pm

Some people MIGHT think "I heard that guy wasn't doing right by my wife, maybe I should ASK HIM ABOUT IT before tweeting about how pissed I am". Some people that don't live in Wasilla, that is.

Sassomatic October 6, 2010 at 4:32 pm

Okay, so someone said that Joe said that Sarah was like, maybe not qualified to be president, and then Sarah was all I am so not posting this awesome Facebook status about you. And so Todd totally emailed him and was like "Endorsement. Hello!?" So then a bunch of people saw the email and Todd was all Joe totally didn't say what I said he said. And Sarah was all Yeah Lamestream Media. So there! there!

So yeah, Sarah's totally gonna be Homecoming Queen. Or president, whatever.

ReturnToMetal October 6, 2010 at 4:33 pm

The word is "trying," you dizzy bimbo.

That woman … IS AN IDIOT!

Jukesgrrl October 6, 2010 at 4:35 pm

I accidentally saw five minutes of Joe Scarborough's pukefest this morning (last night for me) and the panel's comments on this brouhaha were hilarious.

Mika had trouble reading Todd's E-mails without making a mistake (some of the words had two syllables). Then Joe thought it was simply a scream that Todd claimed Sarah had "spent all morning writing a Facebook entry praising Miller." The reason Joe thought that was so funny? "It took her all morning to type 140 characters!?! Ha ha ha!" The joke was on Joe that he doesn't know the difference between a Tweet and a Facebook entry, but no one on his esteemed panel was smart enough to correct him. Pat Buchanan hasn't even heard of E-mail yet and Mika can't count.

Maybe I should watch Morning Joe more often. It's truly an amazing look at the stupidity of America's so-called "insiders."

valgal2342 October 6, 2010 at 4:40 pm

Well, you can tell Todd didn't write the statement.

Mort_Sinclair October 6, 2010 at 4:54 pm

Think I'll email him and see if he has a recipe for hot dogs.

Seriously, Toad? For real? Ugh. How fitting.

elpinche October 6, 2010 at 4:54 pm

It's too late. They cancelled those email accounts. Uhhhh, so I hear.

kevinpaul October 6, 2010 at 5:11 pm

I'll have you know that Sarah Palin is no idiot. She just quoted Gertrude Stein.

rocktonsam October 6, 2010 at 5:13 pm

and the Palin children are still neglected.

Run Trig, run for your life boy!

GOPCrusher October 6, 2010 at 5:55 pm

I bet Tawd had wished that he would have went old school and just stuck a moose head in Joe Miller's bed.

lochnessmonster October 6, 2010 at 5:56 pm

I agree, Todd Palin is no big deal, neither is Sarah Mama Grizzly Bear Lipstick on a Pit Bull Palin. Yet the "lamestreammedia" keep reporting every little blip in their lives.

CalamityJames October 6, 2010 at 7:18 pm

Ahem….*aloud*

Thedongsofwar October 6, 2010 at 7:44 pm

So I'll/Keep on tryin'/I'm Through with lyin'/Just like the sun above/I'll come shinin'
through/Yes I will/Oh yes I'll keep on tryin'/I'm tired of cryin'/I got to find a way/To get on home to you

I heard that song on "Bones". OMIGOD TEMPY AND BOOTH 4EVR!

transfatz October 6, 2010 at 9:33 pm

Sarah and Yasser Arafat stuck a wooden sword into that baby's head. What about that Todd?

MilwaukeeKent October 7, 2010 at 12:50 am

In the future, everyone will be famous 4:15 minutes

mavenmaven October 7, 2010 at 5:03 am

Wow, if Palin knew what it insinuates in quoting Gertrude Stein…

NorthStarSpanx October 7, 2010 at 2:27 pm

Isn’t “there, there” an old thing to say to comfort a sad child or puppy?

Sarah don't do compassion. . .or love and affection (see any published photo of eldest Palin child Track, frightening.) See her try to go in for what passes for a "hug" with Bristol on a PR DWTS clip? Both Palin mama's wanted to be anywhere but there, there.

PublicLuxury October 7, 2010 at 8:39 pm

Why does The Todd always remind of a serial killer? Everytime I see a picture of the guy I lock my door again and check my windows.

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