Add to Flipboard Magazine.

Super pooperYou might think that it would be “cool” to have access to the Wonkette tip line, because you’d be privy to all sorts of political insider-y things before they hit the news! But in fact all you get are endless poorly spelled/punctuated screeds from nobodies and has-beens. One of the has-beens we hear from most often is Dick Morris, who used to be Bill Clinton’s Karl Rove, but then got fired for sucking prostitute toes, then went on to become a conservative gadfly for reasons that make sense to, well, him, we guess. Anyway, it took a long time for Dick Morris to notice that all the cool kids are starting PACs these days, but now he’s caught up and conned someone sober into filing the paperwork to start his PAC. All you need is an unrealistic goal and a name! Anyone have a name? A name for this … super PAC?

Oh, hell, let’s just call it the “Super PAC!” Wait, will people think it’s a Super PAC for Iran or something? Super PAC for America it is!

From the Desk of Dick Morris

Dear Fellow American:

America is at a crossroad, perhaps the likes of which we have never seen in our history.

That whole Civil War business was CHILD’S PLAY compared to this midterm election that nobody will remember ten years from now! Then it’s a bunch of blah blah blah about how Republicans can get a veto-proof Congressional majority if only you give Dick Morris money, which he 100 percent guarantees will not be spent on hookers with sexy toes.

Also, there is a picture of Ronald Reagan!

I'm dead, but I still approve this message


Dick Morris should be put in prison for degrading the good name of the word “super.” If this mediocre PAC/shell corporation is allowed to call itself “super,” how will PACs that actually have a chance in hell of achieving their goals differentiate themselves? By calling themselves “Super Duper PAC for USA America #1?” [“Super” PAC for America]

Previous articleAmericans Actually Crushed By Lack of Dignity & Joy, Not Politics
Next articleAFA: Jesus Wanted Firefighters To Let That House Burn