'Mad Strangler' Joe Biden To Strangle Everybody, Especially Republicans

The DC region has been living in terror for the past two years because of the dastardly crimes of the mysterious "Mad Strangler," a master criminal who chokes the life out of his victims and leaves no clue or trace behind him. As the bodies pile up and the police look more and more helpless, the populace wonders who this criminal psychopath could be. Who would have the audacity and the skills to sneak into the homes of innocents, grip his powerful hands around their throats, and squeeze the air out of their windpipes so suddenly that they don't even have time to make a sound? Well, as is so often the case, the fiend is tired of working in the shadows, since the whole string of killings was really a plea for attention. And so, Joe Biden, while safely outside the jurisdiction where these dastardly deeds took place, admitted that he sure likes to get his strangle on!

Joe Biden was in Dayton, Minnesota, claiming that maybe you can't simultaneously say that you're going to cut the deficit and cut taxes?

According to a pool report from Tuesday's event in Dayton, Biden was telling the crowd that Democrats know how to balance the budget. He said, "If I hear one more Republican tell me about balancing the budget, I am going to strangle them."

But, uh, that's just a figure of speech!

He quickly added: "To the press, that's a figure of speech."

Biden then left the stage and strangled three people, with his bare hands, in front of hundreds of horrified onlookers.

Every time Joe Biden makes one of his so-called "gaffes," your morning editor falls a little more in love with him. Is this how conservatives felt every time Cheney took a dump on the Constitution? [ AP ]