This should be a really good presidential election if someone has access to his BlackBerry.Oh no! It’s the Mama Grizzly’s husband, Anger Bear! “Sarah spent all morning working on a Face book post for Joe, she won’t use it, not now.” Aww, the poor thing, slaving away on a status update for someone she thought was a friend. This is from an e-mail Todd Palin sent Joe Miller on September 19, in which Todd rips Joe Miller for not endorsing Sarah for president when Miller was asked if she was qualified for the job. Well, yeah, obviously she is qualified. Look at all that effort she puts into writing her “Face book” posts.

Here’s Todd’s full e-mail (PDF):

Joe and Tim,
> Hold off on any letter for Joe. Sarah put her ass on the line for Joe
> and yet he can’t answer a simple question ” is Sarah Palin Qualified
> to be President”. I DON’T KNOW IF SHE IS.
> Joe, please explain how this endorsement stuff works, is it to be
> completely one sided.
> Sarah spent all morning working on a Face book post for Joe, she won’t
> use it, not now.
> Put yourself in her shoe’s Joe for one day.
> Todd
> Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

When someone endorses you for Senate, you have to endorse that person for president, even if that person is unelectable and unemployed. Obviously Joe Miller has no idea how hard it is to post a status update on Facebook. [The Mudflats]

Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • Sepatown!

    Joe and Tim,

    Sarah is not a witch, but heads will get flown and wigs will be split if we don't see an endorsement in the next 24 hours.

    Sent From My Fuckin Phone

  • The Palins have to be the most inarticulate, ignorant, functionally illiterate people in the world.

    • MapleLeafsfordawin!

      You're right. They make Glenn Beck look like Dick Cavett on occasion.

    • Terry

      And if she ever does get elected to national level office, they'll hit DC like the Clampets. No, strike that. The Clampets never were mean, stupid grifters, just people out of the element.

    • lulzmonger

      You just made The Baby Skoalrebel cry!

  • mavenmaven

    I hear that when Palin is president, Todd will be the obvious candidate for mayor of Chicago.

  • OneDollarJuana

    I still haven't decided if Todd is qualified to be First Lady.

    • lochnessmonster

      Isn't that half the reason for deciding who you should vote for POTUS? You know Obama only became president because Michelle rocked the bare arms part of the pagent over Cindy.

  • 4TheTurnstiles

    Fucking hell, she's running for president.

    • lumpenprole

      Classy announcement.
      I'm sure there'll be a Palin Week on Fox to unveil her, but this is probably the sort of confirmation we want, done in the manner we've all come to expect.

    • snoopyfan2010

      That's exactly where this country will be if she wins.

  • CablinasianDem

    My drunk BBMs are more well written than this. Then again, my drunken ramblings are more coherent than anything that comes out of his wife's mouth.

    • NYNYNY

      What I think my socks are saying when I'm on acid: also more coherent than the snowtard.

  • V572625694

    Good to see the Toddmeister shares his spouse's gift for finely crafted prose. You'd think Gertie Van S would have brought him along a little farther than this, if you know what I mean.

    OT: Howie Kurtz ascends to his spiritual home, THE DAILY BEAST. Maybe there people won't make fun of him for doing half an hour on Mariel Hemingway's twats.

  • Chet Kincaid

    Holy fuck, is this Todd Palin's first known intelligible communication to ANYONE? I have never before seen a quote, tweet or text from the man. He could have been less articulate than Trig, for all we knew.

    • Troubledog

      You're talking about a guy that named his kids (in order) after a snowmachine part, a bay, his airplane, and a math class he skipped.

      • BornInATrailer

        You forgot his favorite movie.

        • Troubledog

          SHIT – I would have said "favorite Buffy character".

          • natoslug

            There's a Spike Palin?

      • deelzebub

        My Palin name theory is in order Track-NASCAR, Bristol-NASCAR, Willow-Tree (which is inexplicably classy), Piper-Meth, Trig-Shotgun part.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        The Palins have a kid named "Cessna?"

      • grendelg

        Trig was named after the disorder… "Down syndrome (trisomy 21, trisomy G) is a chromosomal disorder resulting in mental retardation and physical abnormalities." …. Trisomy-G, or TriG for short… And then called for Rahm to be fired for using the word "retarded" in an offhand comment, the end, also.

      • EdFlintstone

        Actually its worse than you think. Bristol got the name because its the home of ESPN and thats no shit.

        • Troubledog

          Thanks for reminding me that no matter how bad things are, that indeed, they are worse than I think.

      • I always thought he originally wanted to call Bristol "Tits" but they talked him out of it, so he went with a bit of rhyming slang he somehow picked up.
        (Bristol bits-tits or Bristol city-titty)

    • SayItWithWookies

      It depends on what your definition of intelligible is. I DON'T KNOW IF SHE IS.

    • BerkeleyBear

      His fingers were supposedly all over her e-mails in Alaska – the ones she put on Yahoo! to try and avoid FOIA. So I was pretty sure he was above grunt and click, but actually using sarcasm, however heavy handedly, was more than I expected.

    • Carcuntz_R_Us

      You found this intelligible?

  • Trinket

    That thing is positively screaming for a red pen.

  • BornInATrailer

    Why, that sounds like a request for "politics as usual."

    How maverick-y.

  • Lucidamente1

    Shorter Todd Palin: I'm not a serial killer, I just look like one on TV.

  • bigdupa

    "Put yourself in her shoe’s Joe for one day."

    Joe! You would look th-th-super in her $500 pumps purchased by the RNC.

    • GunTotingProgressive

      Apostrophe fail, unless there is a shoe which owns a Joe.

      • reliefsinn

        Gosh, don't these wingnuts love their non-essential aopostrophe's.

  • JMPEsq

    This is good news for Lisa Meercowsky.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Haha. Joe drank the Kool-Aid without asking what was in it.
    Happy trails Nimrod.

  • jus_wonderin

    "Joe, please explain how this endorsement stuff works, is it to be completely one sided."


    • JustPixelz

      This kind of Palin quid pro quo raises some great opportunities. Howzabout Barbara Boxer endorses Palin for Prez, then Palin must endorse her for CA Senate (over Fiorina). Or maybe Strickland endorses her, so she has to endorse him for OH Gov (over Kasich). Oh hell, Obama should endorse her, the she'll have to endorse him back (over Palin, I assume).

  • SudsMcKenzie

    If Joe put himself "in her shoes" for one day he would wind up pregnant by Todd.

    • SarcasticNymph

      Todd Levi

  • DemmeFatale

    All morning on a Facebook post? Really? ALL MORNING??!!

    • And that was just reading the copy written by her stooges, and telling them to go back and do it again.

      • BerkeleyBear

        I'm guessing most of the time was spent, yet again, trying to figure out how the demons living in the computer box know her thoughts so well.

    • It takes a LONG TIME to type without CAPS LOCK ON!!!!

    • Or at least that's what she was telling him when he said "Come back to bed and tame my little wolf!"

    • jus_wonderin

      Well, she probably crawls out of bed (somewhere) at 10.

    • BadassKitty

      Five and a half years, DemmeFatale! Five and a hlaf years!

  • marrcus

    So the PDF of the email has that not-really-censored email address thing that sometimes happens.

    Todd Palin's email address is Joe Miller is

    • jus_wonderin


      • elpinche


        • jus_wonderin

          I should send him the "I love you Todd" letter." You said you would leave her." Then attach a pic of my boobs. Drat, I am a male.

          • Trinket

            You could attach a pic of someone else's boobs. Or, better yet, a pic of your nuts!

          • qwerty42

            or both!!!

          • jus_wonderin

            LOL. Todd might like that…too much.

      • Barrelhse


    • GeneralLerong

      1982? The year he graduated from Wasilla High? That was the lifetime high water mark or something?

      • Terry

        Did he actually graduate from high school?

    • Terry

      I wonder if 4chan or a similar group will notice those addresses. Potential lulz for sure.

  • bordo2

    Right on, Demme Fatale. Who the &^%^ spends a whole morning writing a Facebook note? Oh, wait. I forgot. We are talking about Mama Malaprop. My bad.

  • Rambone

    This might qualify as a Blago-type bribery scandal!

    I mean, if Sarah! held some sort of position of authority, other than enriching herself by exploiting the stupidity of angry, white morons.

  • i_AM_ready

    "Sarah put her ass on the line…"
    Nice way to talk about your wife, Todd.
    These people are so vulgar…..

    • Bonzos_Bed_Time

      So I guess we know how Todd and Sarah answered on the previous survey!

    • transfatz

      Is it dry yet?

    • Troubledog

      I actually like the vulgar part. It's the grifter part I take issue with.

  • Tigersmistress

    "Sarah put her ass on the line for Joe"

    With whom is her ass left swinging in the breeze? The crazies?

    • Extemporanus

      Sarah Palin's ass is hanging by a thread?

      Oh my Moroni…"The White Whores Prophecy" is about to come true!

  • elviouslyqueer

    Put yourself in her shoe’s Joe for one day.

    Dear Joe:

    If Todd is referring to those tacky-ass Naughty Monkey pumps, I wouldn't be caught dead in those, and neither should you. (But if she's got a spare pair of NIB Manolos, feel free to pounce on those like they were pics of Levi's erect wang.)



    • Are you sure he's not saying to put yourself inside the tiny little man named "Joe" who lives in her shoes???

      • GeneralLerong

        Yeah, what's up with that apostrophe oh-so-carefully added to "shoes" – can't tell a possessive from a plural, having snored through grade school English classes?

        Sneer, sneer…damn, my lip just cramped up.

      • HateMachine

        Thank you, this was driving me batshit nuts.

  • Although mean, crazy and stupid all adequately describe the Palin Clan, I think the best description would be: "delusional"

    • Tigersmistress

      Idiots, complete idiots!

    • zhubajie

      Meth does that to you!

  • donmedia

    Aww. Poor Moosegirl spent all morning working on a FaceySpace post and now she can't use is because someone won't say she isn't too stupid to be President.

  • Tigersmistress

    Give a Hillbilly a Blackberry and this is what you get…..

    • qwerty42

      give a hillbilly a blackberry and he'll eat it.
      teach him how to use a blackberry and you'll be inundated with moronic messages and wish he had eaten it.

    • lulzmonger

      Like a monkey with a marble.

  • imissopus

    OH NO HE DIDN'T!!!!

    Watch out, Joe. Next thing you know Sarah will delete you from her news feed. If you don't grovel, the next step is de-friending. And after that, the death threats from her nutbag supporters.

    I'm sure she looked good through the beer goggles at last call, but then you wake up the next morning to find she's moved her stuff in and boiled your rabbit. Good luck, sir!

  • DashboardBuddha

    This is really getting to be too much. Candidates trying to prove they're not witches…a not-a-candidates husband pissing off via email about hos Scruffy Joe won't support his wife's bid for president…and now, a not-a-presidential candidate working all morning on a FACEBOOK SCREED?

    What the fuck?

    • slappypaddy

      the government's secret project in the 1960s of lacing public drinking water supplies with lysergic acid diethylamide to see what would happen is finally bearing fruit. rotten peaches, from the looks of them.

    • Tigersmistress

      This could be the theme song to the Palin's reality show. YOU KNOW THERE WILL BE ONE!

  • PalinPussyPower

    Todd, sweetheart, honestly. Do you honestly believe she spent all morning working on a Facebook post? ALL morning? Is that what she told you she was doing? If I were you dear, I'd be checking the paternity of that entire gaggle of beasts.

    • Not now honey. I'm working on a FB note. About Joe Miller. No, really!

      • PalinPussyPower

        Sweetie you just go on and heat up some leftover elk chili and just as soon as I'm done with this here Facebook note you bet I'll get my tushy right on home m'kay? Don't forgot to give Gravel her homeschooling lessons for today, and Grunt's got a court hearing at 2. Love you. Also too.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    Put yourself in her shoe's what?

    • the_problem_child

      Box, perhaps.

    • bureaucrap

      Apparently one of her shoes has an appendage/apparatus/extension called a "Joe" (perhaps it is a shoe tree). Apparently, this appendage/apparatus must be hollow, since Todd is asking Joe Miller (the candidate) to put himself (or perhaps HIS appendage/apparatus/extension) "in her shoe's Joe [the hollow shoe tree, or whatever] for one day."

      I would imagine that Joe Miller, walking around with his appendage stuck in Sarah's shoe's "Joe" all day, would find it rather painful, ultimately.

    • Cat_Damon

      "Ah tell yew whut"
      "Ah jest tol' jew!"

      • DustBowlBlues

        Gee. I didn't know you spoke okie.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Joe would definitely endore's Sarah, but as he knows, that's not a Constitutionally mandated function of government. Walk a mile in Joes shoe's Todd I DON'T THINK HE CAN.

  • Rev_Lemonjello

    If nothing else, this answers my question "Do all Palins have opposable thumbs?"

  • elpinche

    Sounds like she's not grizzly enough to write her own angry emails to other retard candidates. It doesn't look like presidential material to me.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    Oh, I get it. Todd wants to see Joe Miller in Sara's Candie's (sic).

  • bumfug

    First Ladies are known for alot of things like "literacy campaigns", "cleaning the environment" and "fighting childhood obesity." Isn't about time we had one who specializes in "draggin' yer sorry ass outside and whuppin' the livin' shit outta ya?"

    • GOPCrusher

      I'd being willing to bet money that Michelle would kick the living shit out of Tawd, once she worked up to a good case of pissed off.

      • LetUsBray

        The very thought warms my heart. And other places.

      • Terry

        She's from Chicago. She could have it done well and cheaply and not mess up her nails or outfit.

  • Serious question…. Where is the National Republican Leadership???

    I happen to know from my time in local politics that if someone running for dogcatcher or county freeholder pulled this sort of bullshit, they would receive a polite, but firm call from the County Chairperson suggesting that perhaps they don't have the temperment for politics and maybe they should investigate another field to spend their free time on.

    Will Michael Steele do his job and fire this idiot!

    • HateMachine

      Haha, Michael Steele still has a job.

      • V572625694

        He's RNC's emissary to the Young Republicans Club in Pelau until election day.

    • zhubajie

      Visiting S&M clubs in Thailand? The monsoon is over, after all.

  • WarAndGee

    Dammit , I hate that parallel America THOSE fuckers live in. Sportos, cheerleaders, "math is hard", passing notes on twitter and facebook during class, "knowing stuff isn't cool," etc.

    They 're going to shove us all into the lockers after school, then bomb Iran.

  • fuflans

    ummm, todd, to 'put your ass on the line' means you are putting something at risk.

    also: it's spelled 'tod'.

  • Incorrect use of apostrophe adds to Todd's Tea-Tard Cred.

  • V572625694

    My dearest Todd,

    It is with great regret that I take fingers to keyboard, as it were, to confer upon you this unhappy truth, the verity of which only fell within my ken in the last fortnight. It is this: much as I have loved our mutual friend Sarah, she of the clear eye, lush curtain of brown hair, clever tongue and shapely leg, it now behooves me to speak — regretfully, you may be most certain! — to the calumnies and excoriations I have received on her behalf, posted one may be certain by the more fervent of her adherents but nonetheless not disavowed by the lady herself. Let me, at the risk of offense taken only under the most strenuous restraint on my part, confer upon you, and our dear Sarah, the new reality:

    Bitch, you're down, I'm up. I'm gonna be a fuckin' US fuckin Senator, and you're gonna be talking to fat old ladies in power chairs at Hampton Inns in Bumfuck Arkansas. Sorry lady, it's over. Thanks for all the help.

    Yr hmble srvnt,
    Joe the Miller
    Yale 1982

    • qwerty42

      Joe had better be careful. You saw what happened to that nut who dared to threaten Sarah! even though he is just a nut. Now he has police protection.

    • DustBowlBlues

      Brilliant. No wonder you have so many p points.

      • V572625694

        Thank you. I have so much fun here.

    • transfatz

      Henry James meets Eminem?

  • the_problem_child

    You know, I doubt Todd writes his own e-mails. I'm pretty sure this is the work of Sarah, just sent from "Todd".

    • Cat_Damon

      How soon before we hear it was a "campaign volunteer" who was up to this?

  • LionelHutzEsq

    Why can't Gov. Palin do like I do and set her Facebook status to "President."

  • Yes Sarah. Endorsing fellow retards is going to put you in the White House.

  • GOPCrusher

    And all this time, I thought that Tawd was just a commoner that had a money grubbing fame whore for a wife. Now we find out that this is a pair made in heaven. And sadly, they have children that are being unleashed on the planet.

  • OneYieldRegular

    All other weighty considerations aside, anyone who would spend "all morning" working on a Facebook post is *clearly* not qualified to be president of anything, except perhaps of her own Facebook page.

  • qwerty42

    Sarah was working on a Facebook post! Hey! That's a lot of work. Thinkin' ! I'm betting she was reading up on foreign policy stuff, what with Putin rearin' his head. Hmmmm Sarah or X … Sarah or X …. oh heck, let's go with the Real Merrikun!. (and it ain't some guy who went to Princeton).

    • NorthStarSpanx

      She was scrunching her little face up, sticking her tongue out the side of her mouth, crayons, glitter and boxes to check. . .no wonder we could smell wood burning in the otherwise unapologetic fossil fuel thirsty compound on Lake Lucille.

      Piper and Trig had to restore order to the refrigerator magnets with folksy wisdom all jumbled up against the dented surfaces.

  • MadBrahms

    Put yourself in her shoe's *what*, Todd?

    • Her shoe's Joe.

      • OneYieldRegular

        Does she drink coffee from her shoe? Is that it? Go jump in Sarah Palin's coffee-filled shoe?

  • Mort_Sinclair

    Todd is a semi-literate redneck dumbfuck from the stix who is used to bullying other semi-literate redneck dumbfucks who think he's nothing but a semi-literate redneck dumbfuck. It's called the Snowbilly Circle of Respect.

  • AlaskaGrrl

    And, and, she won't sign your yearbook either poopy head.

  • bordo2

    I hope John McCain is always remembered not for his time in the Navy, his captivity in North Vietnam, his stint in the U.S. Senate, but instead as the man who introduced the stupidest, most irritating bunch of inbreds this side of an Ozarks family reunion to a stunned and disbelieving nation. These people are boors with a capital B.

    • DustBowlBlues


  • HateMachine

    Honestly? Having a pontiff be a delusional narcissistic moron would probably be preferable to one that defends systematic child rape.

    • HateMachine

      Oh but wait, she's disqualified on the grounds of not having testicles.

  • twoeightnine

    How long do you think it took him to type that out? 5? 6 hours? Those Blackberry keys are so tiny for such manly hands.

  • Gopherit

    Her ASS was ON THE LINE! DON'T YOU GET IT?? You left her out there to swing in the wind and use all of her talents from Freshman english. She won't forget that.

  • Carcuntz_R_Us

    Mah pet lolkat haz betur gramur dan tod. It makes me haz a sad.

  • Gopherit

    Also, Joe is more likely to put himself in Sarah's panties for one day. with a 5:1 male to female ratio in Alaska, every woman has to do her part.

    • transfatz

      And every man has to part her do.

  • elpinche

    "Yo Joe, this is Todd. you can kiss my ass (beep)
    I ain't interrested in you anyhow, i'm just interrested in the AIP
    So fuck you my man.."

  • Radiotherapy

    It'll be awesome when Katie Couric interviews this toad.

  • Thedongsofwar


  • PsycWench

    I bet she spent all morning working on Facebook post just like multiple students have assured me they spent HOURS and HOURS working on a paper that they lost when the computer crashed last night and which they inexplicably never saved.

  • Pragmatist2

    Hold it! I am impressed. That is an incredibly long email to type on a Blackberry with zero mistakes. I can't see any libtards matching Todd here.

  • Weenus299

    I wish Todd, Sarah and Joe would all be exploded inside a vat of lead-based Jell-O, to reduce or prevent contamination.

  • GeneralLerong

    So, ya think maybe Piper did it?

  • PresBeeblebrox

    What is a "shoe's Joe"? Is this the Alaskan version of the Dirty Sanchez?

  • BaileyWu

    "Sarah put her ass on the line for Joe…"

    And we all know that where ever Sarah's ass goes her head goes.

  • NorthStarSpanx

    "Put yourself in her shoe’s Joe for one day."

    I totally see Joe as a closet fetishist.

    It must be those shiny red Naughty Monkey's the aging GILF sported all too often that got Joe to fight the Troopergate investigation on their behalf in the first place.

  • barkingspiders

    Excuse me! Tawd supposedly drove his sled for hundreds of miles with a broken arm, reportedly gets into full on canned goods throwing wars with his hissing slit eyed hillbilly wife and the best he can do when he thinks someone has crossed him is to whine like a bitch!

    These two will never make it to 2012.

  • transfatz

    "all morning on a facebook post"
    Could she be the "mom makes $77 an hour" in the ad I'm seeing now?"
    It's OK Todd. She will not die, it is not poison.

    • transfatz

      Q: Which one gave you the seven dollars?
      A: They all did.

      • transfatz

        That's called a 7-11 in Alaska.

  • lulzmonger

    I'm just wondering how much juice Griftzly Mama got offered to "put her ass on the line" since it's obvious she wouldn't piss on Miller if he were on fire without a cash advance. Or am I to believe that a raging narcissist like Sarah "We Also Take VISA" Palin endorsed a potential future GOP presidential primary competitor because Jeebus told her to? She probably charges her fucking kids for their school lunches.

  • NadePaulKuciGravMcKi

    "Princess Sarah loves Israel so much and hates the truth of 9/11."

  • lochnessmonster

    Thinking about it, this sounds so high-schooly. They should know from experience, some people will do ANYThING to get elected.

  • hupinjin

    this website is very good, you can go and see it=== ===

  • chickensmack

    Okay, wait. I had a snark, but I've pulled it. For this:

    When I was growing up, politicians on the rise were godlike in their stature. Even when they fell out of disgrace, they seemed to stay above the ugliness of typical human hostility.

    Now I don't know if it's because her meteor has burned out, or because of the ubiquity of internet media, but the Palins are all too human for office. Ever. Were she to win anything, she'd only represent that office with the incredibly meager stature, gravitas and authority of the Wasilla Mayorship.

  • Symmetrical

    If Joe has to wear her shoes for a day, will she throw in her fake glasses?

Previous articleWhy Do Teabagger Celebrity Gals All Look Like Monica Lewinsky?
Next articleFox News: Jet Ski Pirate Mexicans Are Murdering Americans