Why Do Teabagger Celebrity Gals All Look Like Monica Lewinsky?

Why do today's teabagger sweethearts all look like infamous White House intern Monica Lewinksy? Could it be that the fetching Oval Office paramour of Bill Clinton had some deep, weird effect on right-wing men in this country? Was all that posturing and yelping andgoing insaneover a politician having a tacky affair really about something much weirder? Did Lewinsky hit some special button in the impotent nether regions of America's wingnuts? And why does Christine O'Donnell lookexactlylike Monica in her heyday? It would be sexist to even raise this subject, but our pal Rebecca Dana already did it for Tina Brown's Internet Tendency, so it has automatically transubstantiated from filth to scholarship! (This is witchcraft.)

One thing wingnut menalwaysdo is this very gross overcompensating thing when it comes to images of wingnut women. History's best example is this incredibly yucky blog beat-off byNational Review Onlinemasturbator Rich Lowry in response to Sarah Palin's 2008 debate against Joe Biden. (Lest you've forgotten the horror, the key word was "starbursts.")

We can never figure out if the over-the-top hubba hubba over middle-aged women with big hair is because all wingnut men are closeted homosexuals desperate to appear "manly" on the Internet, or because they're impotent and desperate to pretend something (Ann Coulter?) can still raise that withered old tadpole from the depths of pasty white flab it calls home.

Whatever the ultimate reason, wingnut men are repulsive, sitting at their computers and pretending to wank off to pictures of women who basically look like worn-out realtors from Phoenix. [ Daily Beast via Dan McQuade ]