DOG SHIT  2:12 pm October 5, 2010

Teabaggers Come Out Forcefully In Favor of Puppy Abuse

by Jack Stuef

Even dogs themselves are in favor of puppy mills, if we put signs on them saying that's what they think.Teabaggers in Missouri are up in arms over a proposed law that would regulate the state’s puppy mills by requiring them to give a bitch some rest between pregnancies, yo, and feed the puppies actual food and water. This has enraged them, obviously, because such regulations infringe on our cherished freedom to abuse animals and buy cheap abused puppies. The group leading the charge against the law, “Alliance For Truth,” says the Humane Society hates animals and “seeks only to raise the cost of breeding dogs, making it ever-more difficult for middle-class American families to be dog-owners.” This is yet another big-government intrusion into our ownership of living beings. It’s like that slavery debacle all over again.

Anita Andrews from Alliance For Truth told TPM that it’s a “deceptive, lying bill” that is “trying to purposefully get rid of the breeders.” The state of Missouri, she said, has been given a bad rap as “the puppy mill capitol” of the U.S. but “in truth we have the best ribbon breeders in the country.” And, Andrews said, the state already has anti-cruelty laws on the books.

“They don’t like animals,” she said of the Humane Society.

Andrews also explained that Cass Sunstein, “one of the biggest animal rights activists,” and President Obama’s Administrator of the Office of Information and Regulatory Affairs, is tied to the Humane Society, and is helping them give Obama “a punch list” of the animals rights activists’ agenda.

It’s sort of amazing how every random bit of government action in this country can be traced back to that Kenyan. BUT IT’S SO TRUE. Obama is shoving that dog Bo in our faces, mocking middle-class Americans who can’t afford all but the most horrifically abused canines. [TPM]

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Hola wonkerados.

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Badonkadonkette October 5, 2010 at 2:16 pm

give a bitch some rest between pregnancies

If Sarah doesn't need one, why does anyone else?

Stacee October 5, 2010 at 3:58 pm

Well played

mookwrthwilson October 5, 2010 at 2:16 pm

Who knew that Mike Vick was a Teabagger?

elviouslyqueer October 5, 2010 at 2:18 pm

Wait. I thought legalized gay marriage was the way we were going to get rid of the breeders.

jus_wonderin October 5, 2010 at 2:19 pm


NorthStarSpanx October 6, 2010 at 11:02 am


badseeds October 5, 2010 at 2:19 pm

“They don’t like prisoners of conscience,” she said of Amnesty International.

Pop_Socket October 5, 2010 at 2:21 pm

Obama was right when he said "They talk about me like a dog."

savethispatient October 5, 2010 at 2:21 pm

It's hard to keep a dog when you're already living off dog food.

x111e7thst October 5, 2010 at 2:22 pm

Fucking Kenyan. Next he will be trying to force the good people of Missouri to feed their children actual food and water instead of deep fried lard and corn syrup.

PocketsTheClown October 5, 2010 at 2:34 pm

Awesome on pizza

Bluestatelibel October 5, 2010 at 4:12 pm

And then he'll be after to them stop watering their crops with Brawndo!

HistoriCat October 7, 2010 at 3:58 pm

It has electrolytes!

JustPixelz October 5, 2010 at 6:14 pm

"…deep fried lard and corn syrup…"

That's both food groups, so what's the problem?

Monsieur_Grumpe October 5, 2010 at 2:23 pm

Alliance for Truth?
That name just reeks of wing nuttiness.

bumfug October 5, 2010 at 2:33 pm

No shit – Orwellian wing-nuttiness.

SayItWithWookies October 5, 2010 at 2:38 pm

No wonder they suspect every organization on the planet of intending the exact opposite of what its name implies.

H Curve October 5, 2010 at 2:44 pm

It's so hard for them to recognize the truth, let alone find it, that they have to form groups and alliances to improve the odds that their misguided attempts will chivy the truth from some underground burrow or a dusty, dated document! Bless their precious hearts, but they wouldn't recognize the Truth if it cock-punched them while screaming "I AM THE TRUF, BIYOTCHEZ!!!!"

If the teabagger movement proves the height of participatory American politics in the next two elections, mark my words, America's future is boned.

Monsieur_Grumpe October 5, 2010 at 2:51 pm

Truth for Hire would be a little more accurate. Anyone know who is funding them?

Ducksworthy October 5, 2010 at 2:25 pm

Lets just show up at their rallies with beagles' heads in sticks to show that we're with them and against the global warming, anti-war, pro-abortion, humane treatment of people and animals conspiracy.

Lucidamente1 October 5, 2010 at 2:26 pm

"making it ever-more difficult for middle-class American families to be dog-owners": like when you go to the local animal shelter and adopt a dog for free. Oh, right, that would be socialism. Retards.

SexySmurf October 5, 2010 at 2:29 pm

Help control the retard population; get your teabagger spade or neutered.

H Curve October 5, 2010 at 2:46 pm

Or just have it put down. If you really want to piss it off, make sure it's done "humanely."

WigFlipper October 5, 2010 at 2:29 pm

They literally believe in burning down houses and abusing puppies. They are literally cartoon villains.

OneYieldRegular October 5, 2010 at 2:30 pm

Well of COURSE the Humane Society hates animals. Otherwise they'd call themselves the Canine/Feline/Avian/Icthyological/Ferretological/Rodential/Tarantulean/Pet Turtlish/Other Critters Society.

V572625694 October 5, 2010 at 2:31 pm

The Humane Society of the US is a kick-ass organization that will get any money I have left when I die and Medicare is through with me. They know the fact a vet once told me: all "pure-bred" dogs are sick mutants.

It doesn't mean they aren't cute and lovable, and that we shouldn't treat them humanely. It just means we should stop making them.

Oh, and Missoureh: cockfighting was legal there until a coupla years ago. Rural MO stacks up pretty strong in inbred retardism next to WV, Bama, etc.

elviouslyqueer October 5, 2010 at 2:45 pm

Rural MO stacks up pretty strong in inbred retardism next to WV, Bama, etc.

This pretty much explains Branson, yo.

Monsieur_Grumpe October 5, 2010 at 3:04 pm

If you haven't seen this I highly recomend it. Pisses me off.
Pedigree Dogs Exposed from the BBC.

zhubajie October 5, 2010 at 7:45 pm

It was settled by people fleeing Kentucky.

4TheTurnstiles October 5, 2010 at 2:31 pm

Oh yeah, Missouri's the fucking greatest. That's why it's on "COPS" all the time.

Everything I know about Missouri I learned from "The Biggest Loser."

Ducksworthy October 5, 2010 at 2:32 pm

Also in attendance at the rally were representatives of the National Association of Child Abusers and Molesters of America. They have been persecuted by big gubbermint long enough.

Buzz Feedback October 5, 2010 at 2:32 pm

Sully is going to be on this like a moth to a P-Town flame.

Mindblank October 5, 2010 at 2:32 pm

i haz an angry

FidoMcCokefiend October 5, 2010 at 2:35 pm

These bitches would not be faux ‘seduced’ unless they wanted to be.

BaldarTFlagass October 5, 2010 at 2:35 pm

As the owner of a breeder dog rescued from a puppy mill that three years on is still a total emotional and social retard (the dog, not me [mostly]), I hope these puppy-mill-supporting motherfuckers suffer an eternal afterlife having their genitals gnawed on by rabid wolverines with dull but serrated teeth.

chascates October 5, 2010 at 2:36 pm

Hell, in France you have to register your pets and the government sends you a notice each year to have their shots updated! And they don't allow dog fights either.

OneYieldRegular October 5, 2010 at 3:09 pm

Yes, but they don't make you file a lengthy report every time your dog leaves a mess on the trottoir, which is major failing of the system.

ManchuCandidate October 5, 2010 at 2:36 pm

I think the fact the gubbiment wants to limit inbreeding hits a little too close home for a lot of teabaggers.

DrunkenPalmetto October 5, 2010 at 2:37 pm

First they came for the dog abusers…

JMPEsq October 5, 2010 at 2:37 pm

Someone, maybe multiple someones, once joked that the Republicans had become so reflexive in opposing anything the Democratic party or liberals support that, if the Dems introduced a proposal in support of puppies and kittens, the wingnuts would say no and call it radical leftist extremism. Who knew that would prove to be literally true, at least in Missouri?

twogoats October 5, 2010 at 2:46 pm

This whole T-bagger thingee is a clever conspiracy to destroy the SNARK. They get us all twisted around whether the right to abuse animals is in the Constitution and meatball eating witches, and we are wasting our energies on these idiots who'll be dead of congestive heart failure by 2012 anyway. Meanwhile the GOP is merrily coasting along on a platform that boils down to "let's cut education spending so we can give $100,000 each to the top 4% of incomes in America." After all that's who is paying for the witch's ads. At some point snark just fails.

Progressiveinga October 5, 2010 at 3:21 pm

I think Snark Never Fails was the best thing Neil Young ever recorded, the end.

twogoats October 5, 2010 at 3:31 pm

Glen Beck says the Progressives led directly to Facism, Nazis and darkies in the White House. Just sayin'

sati_demise October 5, 2010 at 2:37 pm

oh for gods sake. these puppy mills cost us all money, and they cause all sorts of terrible suffering for puppies and dogs of all sorts.

Just like the Tea Party to protest some really good reforms. Like Bill Krystol, they are always and reliably wrong. fuck these fucking fucks.

I hope they get overrun & savaged by a pack of abused puppies, get rabies and distemper and parvo and die a horrible death.

Monsieur_Grumpe October 5, 2010 at 2:56 pm

Don't forget to hope for steaming doggie poop on their obsessively well manicured lawns.

freakishlywrong October 5, 2010 at 2:38 pm

Gawd. This fucking country. Well, we DID keep asking them what issues they supported.

Lucidamente1 October 5, 2010 at 2:39 pm

Karl Rove or Glenn Beck should tell these retards "Kids, don't try this at home." If you're going to falsely attack someone on their strengths (Kerry the war hero "lied about his Vietnam service"; Obama the son of a white woman "hates white people") make sure you've got a major rightwing network behind you. Otherwise, "They [the Humane Society] don't like animals" makes you sound, well, like a retard.

SayItWithWookies October 5, 2010 at 2:39 pm

First they came for the puppy mills — and I said nothing because I was simply trying to clone Hitler in the Amazon jungle…

Rambone October 5, 2010 at 2:39 pm

Sure, if you consider half-breeds adequate . . . Say no to mullato canines, sheeple!

johnnyzhivago October 5, 2010 at 2:40 pm

First the GOP starts courting gays – now they're courting cat lovers.

RunnyRose October 5, 2010 at 3:24 pm

Suckers! Don't they know they're the same??

CUNextTuesday October 5, 2010 at 8:38 pm

Lesbian Cat Ladies for Palin/O'Donnell 2012!

CUNextTuesday October 5, 2010 at 8:39 pm

Or simply: "Pussy lovers for Twin Twat"

nounverb911 October 5, 2010 at 2:41 pm

Just wait until they realize that HOT DOGS aren't made with real dogs.

JustPixelz October 5, 2010 at 6:19 pm

Just like weiners aren't made from Anthony Weiner. Frankfurters aren't made from Barney Frank. Foot-longs aren't made from John Holmes.

bringmeanaxe October 5, 2010 at 2:42 pm

Don't forget to vote In November, otherwise these people will be running things.

slappypaddy October 5, 2010 at 3:20 pm

these people will never be running things. these people are puppets. the people who run the things would never let these people near the things. the strings would foul up the works.

Rambone October 5, 2010 at 2:45 pm

Dear imaginary deity in the sky: Oh please don't let the repubs take back congress for another couple years, at least.

I gotta see where this all leads after the crazy percolates some more before running its course . . .

Monsieur_Grumpe October 5, 2010 at 2:53 pm

It would kind of fun in an ice pick in the forehead kind of way.

Extemporanus October 5, 2010 at 2:51 pm

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend — inside of a dog, a Teabagger's thrusting cock makes it too hard to read.

CUNextTuesday October 5, 2010 at 8:43 pm

I have to say, I did NOT see that one coming. (Maybe because it was too dark?)

LionelHutzEsq October 5, 2010 at 2:51 pm

Normal liberals. Regulate real people, but did anyone regulate Ted Kennedy's puppy mill? I think not.

Extemporanus October 5, 2010 at 2:52 pm

I got 99 puppies…

Dr_Zoidberg October 5, 2010 at 2:52 pm

I fucking hate these god damned ignorant Tea Baggers.

Nopantsmcgee October 5, 2010 at 2:54 pm

These assholes fuck with the puppies and slap Joe the Dumbers head right into the next century.

God this pisses me off more than any other teatarded thing they've done so far.

DemmeFatale October 5, 2010 at 8:20 pm

Me, too.

PsycWench October 5, 2010 at 2:55 pm

Next on their agenda: protesting those child labor laws. If I want my kids to work at a factory 14 hours a day starting at age 7, the government shouldn't stand in my way.

nounverb911 October 5, 2010 at 2:57 pm

Joe Miller is already working on that.

spooked911 October 5, 2010 at 3:03 pm

as is Linda McMahon…

BaldarTFlagass October 5, 2010 at 2:56 pm

I'd settle for that.

doxastic October 5, 2010 at 3:03 pm

And when less sick, neglected and abused products of the puppy mills trickle down from their middle class owners to the local ASPCA, it will make it even harder for socialist-american families to be dog-owners. As one such socialist-american shelter dog owner, I will not stand for it!

Alex_P October 5, 2010 at 3:04 pm

Joe the Plumber is the most prominent and successful dog breeder in Missouri. Well, no, not like, right now. But, hey, he could, you know? He's, like, this close to buying a dog. And then he'll breed it and make lots of money. Money that the liberals are trying to take away! Just like the billions of dollars in capital gains he is just about to earn on the stock exchange, any day now.

spooked911 October 5, 2010 at 3:05 pm

Initially, I thought the last line read that Obama was shoving dog poo in our faces…

anyway, I'm not sure it's a good idea to go against dog lovers– just ask Michael Vick.

Gopherit October 5, 2010 at 3:06 pm

Next thing you know, they'll want to restrict the breeding of Tea Baggers themselves!! GLENN BECK WAS RIGHT!!! IT'S EUGENICS! Though, to be honest, I thought their giant pannuses and hoverounds already accomplished that.

Monsieur_Grumpe October 5, 2010 at 3:08 pm

For all the dog breeders…

DashboardBuddha October 5, 2010 at 3:11 pm

To paraphrase Bob Barker…Please spay and neuter your teabagger.

largefooted October 5, 2010 at 3:17 pm

Oh Missourah.

You have the lowest Tobacco Tax, were the first state to "REPEAL OBAMER CARE," your former State House Speaker is in jail for sexual assault, and the Dems in the state General Assembly are hoping the FBI will actually prove the accusations of corruption and send Republican leadership to Federal Prison.

And I call you home…

Sgt_Biyatch October 5, 2010 at 3:22 pm

The puppies in the mills is fed what puppies crave: electrolytes.

BombyMcGee October 5, 2010 at 3:22 pm

This new law stinks of Kenyan anti-colonialism. That's the only possible way you could understand it.

MiniMencken October 5, 2010 at 3:26 pm

Having fostered puppy mill dogs from Missouri that are routinely put out into the woods to die of exposure or starvation when they stop having lots of puppies, I can only hope that Andrews cunt mouthpiece for Alliance for Truth gets put into a small cage and to spend a few months wriggling around in her own excrement. These people are beyond disgusting.

DepressedDaily October 5, 2010 at 3:33 pm

Poor Missouri, having human rights violated by animal-huggers. Demand your right to be stupid, irrational, paranoid schizophrenics! If you can't abuse the animals, what else can you do, abuse your spouse and/or kids? Oh, right.

RandyAyn October 5, 2010 at 3:38 pm

Teabaggers for puppy abuse is an all day winner!

WhatTheHeck October 5, 2010 at 3:44 pm

Jesus is coming soon to rapture away these people from amongst us. And not a moment too soon.

GOPCrusher October 5, 2010 at 3:53 pm

2009 a large dog fighting ring (one of many) was broken up in Missouri. A school teacher here in Iowa was one person that was arrested for breeding dogs for that dog fighting ring.

Monsieur_Grumpe October 5, 2010 at 3:56 pm

Their web site is filled with lots of cute puppies! Awwwww they can't be so bad.

Evil scum.

Laughitoff22 October 5, 2010 at 3:57 pm

I bet the humane society wouldn't even approve of making a tuxedo out of puppies! How dreadful!

finallyhappy October 5, 2010 at 3:59 pm

If you make them stop abusing animals, next it will be laws stopping people from beating their kids or marrying their siblings. WHERE does it stop?!

JMPEsq October 5, 2010 at 4:05 pm

Now, many wingnuts have already done been fighting against laws against child abuse. Really, they have.

MapleLeafsfordawin! October 5, 2010 at 4:10 pm

If this is the best "big government" can do at killing pets, it isn't very good. Leaving them in burning buildings with a fire crew outside is much more efficient and sends a message.

prommie October 5, 2010 at 4:17 pm

Truly they are geniuses at public relations.

glamourdammerung October 5, 2010 at 4:47 pm

Given the "liberal media's" calling out their blatant falsehoods all the time, I can see why they make no effort to act sane and/or decent. After all, they will have the corporate media ignore or outright lie about their efforts.

DustBowlBlues October 5, 2010 at 4:24 pm

Having just rescued my fifth dog (because she's weiner/terrier mix and little, I only count her as a half, so that makes 4-1/2) I won't even dump the wonkeratti with a rant about these inhumane fucktards that I live among.

If I won't the lottery, ASPCA and HSUS would have a lobbying budget to rival what the Cock brothers give the Teabaggers.

Ducksworthy October 5, 2010 at 4:30 pm

Once you step over the threshold of sanity and are safely outside it, anything becomes possible. If the International Panel on Climate Change is a communist conspiracy then the Humane Society of the United States could be too. And the Red Cross. Of COURSE the RED Cross. Think about it SHEEPLE.

Barrelhse October 5, 2010 at 4:41 pm

Another one born every minute.

SheriffRoscoe October 5, 2010 at 4:48 pm

Aha! The HSUS strikes again! In 2008, they were behind a California ballot initiative that starting in 2015, will require farmers to provide their animals enough room to stand up, lie down, turn around and, if applicable, spread their wings within the confines they were forced to live in. Conservatives, yes conservatives (surprise!) came out against the measure due to the fact that the government shouldn't be telling people how to treat animals humanely, with regulations.

The measure known as Prop 2 passed, thank god.

Redhead October 5, 2010 at 5:15 pm

Well the shelters here do charge to adopt (I paid $100 to rescue my more-than-10-mixed-breeds mutt). But the shelters and rescue groups neuter/spay the animals first, and you can't teabag without balls.

Giveusabob October 5, 2010 at 5:38 pm

Issues that were also recently on the ballot in MO (where I live), according to some of my more conspiratorially-obsessed friends:

Outlawing backyard gardens
Suspending the franchise state-wide
Mandatory ridership on public transit (y'know, with the darkies)

So, in comparison, this one about puppy love seems pretty tame. I'm waiting until we finally get to vote on death panels (AND propose candidates for said panels!) before I bother voting again.

zhubajie October 5, 2010 at 7:53 pm

Local zoning laws allow backyard gardens? What about Farmers' Markets 7 days a week?

lochnessmonster October 5, 2010 at 5:44 pm

The people opposed to these laws should be forced to watch Animal Cops for a month so they can see just horrific people treat animals including those running puppy mills.

Clancy_Pants October 5, 2010 at 5:47 pm

Keep your hands off my uterus Obama!

thx11380 October 5, 2010 at 7:00 pm

If the puppy mill industry is regulated god will start killing puppies. So shame on you Obama for killing puppies.

zhubajie October 5, 2010 at 7:43 pm

Can't you still get a dog for free at the pound?

transfatz October 6, 2010 at 4:44 am

Yes. In my area fees are often waived, especially for more difficult to place dogs and cats.

Gorilllionaire October 5, 2010 at 9:14 pm

I swear to gawd if I had the Kock brothers money the Humane Society would have tanks and laser guided missles that kill retards.

baxterthepug October 5, 2010 at 9:52 pm

I got a pug that was rescued from a puppy mill in Missouri. She weighed 7 lbs. SEVEN F-ING POUNDS. Have you ever seen a 7 lb pug? No! Because they are supposed to weigh at least twice that, if not more. She had a urinary tract infection. She could only walk in a circle because she spent 3 years of her life in a 2×3 cage. She ate kibble one piece at a time, grabbing it and running away. She has very poor eyesight and had to have some teeth removed. She is afraid of men. They dumped her off to the rescue group because she "neglected her puppies, and the litter died." Ya think? What do you feed puppies with when you are literally skin and bones?

Eat a big bag of rat dicks, teabaggers.

transfatz October 6, 2010 at 4:53 am

I can take most of what goes on at Wonkette but lynching porn and heartrending dog stories like yours make me want to apologize for being human.

baxterthepug October 6, 2010 at 5:22 am

I just couldn't bring the snark on this story…hits too close to where I live.

I have to say that I disagree with people who want to eliminate all breeders, though. My first two pugs came from very dedicated women who showed their dogs. They bred rarely most often times finding another dog from out of state to widen the gene pool, usually had a waiting list, made you sign a contract that you wouldn't get their "papers" until your vet sent a letter saying the dog had been spayed/neutered, and took the dog back if there was a reason you couldn't keep it. Both dogs were healthy and had a wonderful disposition, and the breeders still keep in touch because they are interested in their dogs.

Big difference between that and a puppy mill/backyard breeder. My other pug has been an enormous sense of comfort to my little rescue…taught her "how to be a dog."

transfatz October 6, 2010 at 5:38 am

Thanks for the good ending. I'll sleep better.
As for breeders, I've known some truly great "working dogs" (retrievers). These dogs are virtually telepathic. There are breeders and there are mills.

realmurkin October 5, 2010 at 10:53 pm

I don't get it. Puppies from mills are expensive. Any sort of purebred dog is likely going to cost $500-plus, which is why it's hilarious/tragic to see wealthy retards parading around their obviously fucked-up purebred dogs as a status symbol. Even with the fees from rescues or shelters, you're still usually only going to end up paying $300 at most, often as low as $75-$100, and that's in Seattle where you pay out the ass for everything. I would think shelters and rescues in Missouri would run even cheaper.

Jerri October 6, 2010 at 12:12 pm

I assume this means they are at least consistent with how they view female members of of the human and canine species? Still, no points for consistency on the grounds that they are total fucking goddamned assholes. My little rescue dog from the Humane Society wouldn't piss on them if they were on fire.

ReturnToMetal October 6, 2010 at 5:11 pm

Animal haters take in stray animals, feed them, tend to their wounds, and do everything they can to make them healthy.

Animal lovers starve, beat, and otherwise abuse animals until they die and they no longer have to "love" them.

Got it. Down is up again.

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