ONE-TERM SOLAR PANELS  12:55 pm October 5, 2010

Obama Harnesses Power of the Sun, Leaves White House Coal Miners Hungry

by Riley Waggaman

After thinking long and hard about the best way to hate America, Barack Obama has finally decided on “reinstalling Jimmy Carter’s solar panels.” How many thousands of offshore oil drillers lost their jobs today? Too many thousands to even begin to count:

After appearing to pooh-pooh White House solar panels a few weeks ago, the Obama administration intends to make use of all that sunlight after all, my colleague John Broder reports.

 
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{ 26 comments }

Lucidamente1 October 5, 2010 at 1:09 pm

Are they death panels?

Rev_Lemonjello October 5, 2010 at 1:10 pm

Wake up sheeple!!! Nobamar is the Egyptian sun god Ra, sent to steal our sunbeams to kill the American Jesus Kel El!!!

HateMachine October 5, 2010 at 1:46 pm

I was thinking more along the lines of Aten.

OkieDokieDog October 5, 2010 at 1:11 pm

Rah rah to Ra, the Sun God! Obama is now an Egyptian.

gurukalehuru October 5, 2010 at 1:14 pm

That and the vegetable garden are nice symbolic acts.
Now, how about some high speed trains and turning Kansas and Nebraska into a windfarm and replacing all landfills with high tech recycling centers, creating millions of jobs?

V572625694 October 5, 2010 at 1:18 pm

Ha ha, that'd be hard. Feel-good little shit that the WH press corps gobbles up like chicken nuggets is easy.

Kinda like our "legislature" here in Colly-fornya. When it comes to legislating draconic sentences for child abusers, they're on it: One hundred years! Two hundred years! Pull out their toenails!

But when it comes to balancing the budget and trading away pork…uh….let's meet again next week.

zhubajie October 5, 2010 at 9:02 pm

How about good regular trains, like in Germany or even India?

Kidneys4Sale October 5, 2010 at 1:14 pm

Hussein, Nobamar jst red about the Vgeas Deth ray and now all white's, will be blax, WAKE UP SHEEPLES!!!!!1!!!1@

charlesdegoal October 5, 2010 at 1:27 pm

Not only that: According to the NYTimes, he's also ordering all military vehicles in Afghanistan to run on solar power!

V572625694 October 5, 2010 at 1:32 pm

That story was quite humorous, and about as likely to happen as a shower of gold dust. When they have solar powered aircraft, tanks and trucks, they'll only be able to fight in the daytime.

GeneralLerong October 5, 2010 at 1:36 pm

Well, there's this modern invention known as a "battery" – perhaps you've heard of it? Uses rare metals only found in non-allied countries, I think.

V572625694 October 5, 2010 at 1:39 pm

They're looking into that, but the extension cords are too long, and get tangled up when they do dogfights.

axmxz October 6, 2010 at 12:31 am

If they need any rare-earth metals, they can just ask the Chinese. They're easy to recognize in Afghanistan: little guys, civilian clothes, and instead of shooting people, they're building infrastructure.

charlesdegoal October 5, 2010 at 1:39 pm

Actually, come to think of it, the "alternative to fossil fuels" may be nuclear power, as in one or two short bursts of.

zhubajie October 5, 2010 at 9:03 pm

Ultra-capacitors.

BaldarTFlagass October 5, 2010 at 1:31 pm

Meh, whichever Republican replaces him will have them panels ripped out and replaced with electrical generators powered by blown supercharged Chevy 454's, just like Reagan.

PocketsTheClown October 5, 2010 at 1:46 pm

Did Obama competitively bid this job? I don‘t see any white solar panels, or brown one‘s or Jews either.

WITCHCRAFT WORKING ARRGH

JMPEsq October 5, 2010 at 1:53 pm

How dare Obama undo one of St. Reagan's acts of petty spite and proud willful ignorance.

TanzbodenKoenig October 5, 2010 at 2:00 pm

Don't worry, next time a Republican is President they'll switch it back to running on the blood, sweat and tears of poor people and minorities.

LionelHutzEsq October 5, 2010 at 2:01 pm

Let's not forget that the Mayans had temples to the Sun, and they want the world to end in 2012…,

Coincidence?

CalamityJames October 6, 2010 at 12:33 am

Barry's an Egyptian, not a Mayan. Duh.

HistoriCat October 7, 2010 at 3:54 pm

Where's the birf certificate??!?!?

mumbly_joe October 5, 2010 at 2:12 pm

Today, we are all History's Greatest Monster! And also solar-powered.

Weenus299 October 5, 2010 at 2:18 pm

You know, if we got to work building Obama's pyramid, we'd all be employed for 20 years.

zhubajie October 5, 2010 at 9:05 pm

Probably a good idea, after 2012. Pres. Palin will undoubtedly blame him for all her failures.

rab neutrino April 5, 2012 at 10:39 am

Care penalties are not strictly related to childcare- they can also refer to taking care of a sick family member, babysitting a younger sibling, or taking an elderly family member to his/her doctor’s appointments.

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