one-term solar panels

Obama Harnesses Power of the Sun, Leaves White House Coal Miners Hungry

After thinking long and hard about the best way to hate America, Barack Obama has finally decided on “reinstalling Jimmy Carter’s solar panels.” How many thousands of offshore oil drillers lost their jobs today? Too many thousands to even begin to count:

After appearing to pooh-pooh White House solar panels a few weeks ago, the Obama administration intends to make use of all that sunlight after all, my colleague John Broder reports.

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Riley is an "internet blogger." He has written for such internet websites as True/Slant and the terrible Brangelina gossip emporium "The Huffington Post." Riley lives in northeast DC, near H Street. Maybe you do too and want to hang out?

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26 comments

  1. Rev_Lemonjello

    Wake up sheeple!!! Nobamar is the Egyptian sun god Ra, sent to steal our sunbeams to kill the American Jesus Kel El!!!

  2. gurukalehuru

    That and the vegetable garden are nice symbolic acts.
    Now, how about some high speed trains and turning Kansas and Nebraska into a windfarm and replacing all landfills with high tech recycling centers, creating millions of jobs?

    1. V572625694

      Ha ha, that'd be hard. Feel-good little shit that the WH press corps gobbles up like chicken nuggets is easy.

      Kinda like our "legislature" here in Colly-fornya. When it comes to legislating draconic sentences for child abusers, they're on it: One hundred years! Two hundred years! Pull out their toenails!

      But when it comes to balancing the budget and trading away pork…uh….let's meet again next week.

  3. Kidneys4Sale

    Hussein, Nobamar jst red about the Vgeas Deth ray and now all white's, will be blax, WAKE UP SHEEPLES!!!!!1!!!1@

  4. charlesdegoal

    Not only that: According to the NYTimes, he's also ordering all military vehicles in Afghanistan to run on solar power!

    1. V572625694

      That story was quite humorous, and about as likely to happen as a shower of gold dust. When they have solar powered aircraft, tanks and trucks, they'll only be able to fight in the daytime.

      1. GeneralLerong

        Well, there's this modern invention known as a "battery" – perhaps you've heard of it? Uses rare metals only found in non-allied countries, I think.

        1. V572625694

          They're looking into that, but the extension cords are too long, and get tangled up when they do dogfights.

        2. axmxz

          If they need any rare-earth metals, they can just ask the Chinese. They're easy to recognize in Afghanistan: little guys, civilian clothes, and instead of shooting people, they're building infrastructure.

      2. charlesdegoal

        Actually, come to think of it, the "alternative to fossil fuels" may be nuclear power, as in one or two short bursts of.

  5. BaldarTFlagass

    Meh, whichever Republican replaces him will have them panels ripped out and replaced with electrical generators powered by blown supercharged Chevy 454's, just like Reagan.

  6. PocketsTheClown

    Did Obama competitively bid this job? I don‘t see any white solar panels, or brown one‘s or Jews either.

    WITCHCRAFT WORKING ARRGH

  7. TanzbodenKoenig

    Don't worry, next time a Republican is President they'll switch it back to running on the blood, sweat and tears of poor people and minorities.

  8. LionelHutzEsq

    Let's not forget that the Mayans had temples to the Sun, and they want the world to end in 2012…,

    Coincidence?

  9. zhubajie

    Probably a good idea, after 2012. Pres. Palin will undoubtedly blame him for all her failures.

  10. rab neutrino

    Care penalties are not strictly related to childcare- they can also refer to taking care of a sick family member, babysitting a younger sibling, or taking an elderly family member to his/her doctor’s appointments.

Comments are closed.