someone needs a hug?

Weak and Girly Obama-Emanuel Hug Will Provoke Nuclear Holocaust

The friendly hug that KILLED US ALLHugs are gay and start wars. CNBC’s Larry Kudlow knows this all too well, from personal experience, and that is why he penned perhaps the greatest prose ever to grace Big Government, Andrew Breitbart’s ePoop depository. Just take a moment to admire Kudlow’s lede: “Am I the only one who saw weakness when President Obama and his departing chief of staff Rahm Emanuel gave each other big, fat, full-bore hug following their speeches at the resignation event in the White House’s East Room on Friday?” Of course not, Larry Kudlow! Don’t you read the newspapers? Barack Obama and Rahm Emanuel are both huge flamers, and that’s why your feeble-old-man masculinity was able to detect their Weakness. We also noticed that every world leader saw this embrace on teevee and then gleefully activated their nuclear bomb machines — because the entire world is now going to take turns killing America, since its weak leaders are too busy hugging to even care.

Remember, this is on global television. And it has to do with the very top of the United States government. Our friends and enemies were all watching. I think the hug lacked dignity. It did not send a message of American power and forcefulness. So I fret about the reaction around the world to this kind of fraternity-like emotionalism in full public view.

Why not just a dignified, stand-up, serious handshake? That’s what Reagan would have done. A strong handshake shows friendship, respect, and even affection. But a big fat hug seems to go over the line.

Perhaps I’m overreacting to this. But when it comes to the presidency and the behavior of our top leaders, I think the image we want to send at home and abroad is one of serious strength of purpose. Not some kind of collegiate squeeze. Somehow the Obama-Emanuel embrace seemed demeaning — to the presidency, to our officialdom, and to our strength of purpose.

Overreacting to a hug witnessed by the entire world on global television? Don’t be silly. Everybody to the Fallout Shelter! And please hurry, Barack Obama might touch another man at any moment.

ha ha, this hug actually DID bring Endless War

[BigGovernment via TPM]

About the author

Riley is an "internet blogger." He has written for such internet websites as True/Slant and the terrible Brangelina gossip emporium "The Huffington Post." Riley lives in northeast DC, near H Street. Maybe you do too and want to hang out?

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52 comments

  1. simplyblue7

    As long as I'm not the only one who's pants suddenly became a boy scout's tent then I can see Kudlow's point.

  2. KathrynSane

    Looks like a certain sexually frustrated someone is angry he wasn't in the middle of that Barry/Rahmbo sandwich. Lay off the slashfic, Larry!

  3. Oblios_Cap

    It could have been worse. He might have kissed him and led him around by the hand. Think of the blowback America would get from its enemies, then.

    And probably aimed at Florida, America's Dingus!

    1. deelzebub

      It is the epitome of manliness to hold hands with a guy in a dress and stroll past your wildflowers.

    2. Missyb9479

      They were merely exchanging long protein strings. If you can think of a simpler way, I'd like to hear it.

  4. deelzebub

    The Obama Emanuel hug is undignified, unlike how Bush and Cheney said goodbye. Cheney let him take off the assless chaps, took the ball gag out of his mouth, and told him to stop crying.

  5. JMPEsq

    Lawrence Kudlow's done a good job here of illustrating the generic wingnut anti-Obama hit piece. Here's how it's done:
    1) Observe some innocuous, ordinary thing the President's done.
    2) Assert that it's un-Presidential for some reason.
    3) Pretend that no previous President has done the same thing.
    4) Claim that Obama is endangering national security in some vague, nonsensical way.
    5) Reagan.
    See also: bowing, shaking hands with leaders the wingnuts don't like, going tieless, etc.

    1. nachoproblem

      Wasn't Kudlow also the Mustard Nazi, or am I thinking of someone else, like Charles Kraphamster?

    2. mumbly_joe

      You forgot the thing where you get the extra wingnut bonus point multiplier, if, while you are asserting that it's un-Presidential, you can also claim that this thing makes Obama a Muslin/Foreigner/Homo/All of the Above.

  6. FearofaBlackReagan

    What message about American power does being a big gay cokewhore send, Larry? Something good? Okay keep sending it!

  7. 4tehlulz_lite

    Holding hands with the king of Saudi Arabia is a much better way of projecting power and strength.

  8. Gopherit

    Larry Kudlow only endorses hugs from behind, and only from Breitbart in the privacy of his own sex dungeon…….errrm "Pleasure Palace."

  9. JustPixelz

    Yes, let us ask WWRD — What Would Reagan Do?

    He'd sell advanced weapons to the Islamic Republic of Iran then give the money to terrorists freedom fighters in Nicaragua. He'd double national debt because "deficits don't matter". As governor of California, he'd effectively legalize abortion. As President, his faith-based initiatives were based on astrology.

    WWRD when a close friend moves on? Reagan didn't hug his own children, so we have our answer.

  10. Gopherit

    Also, thank you wonkette. I could have spent several eternities never needing to see Dubya's "O" face.

  11. nachoproblem

    Kudlow knows, as all prostitutes do, that certain types of affection like hugging and kissing are excessively personal and undermine professionalism. Much better to limit all interactions to fellatio and buttsechs (or the other way around) while avoiding eye contact.

  12. bagofmice

    New proposal: Barry whips it out, slams it on the table and shouts "Kneel before Zod". That'll show them furriners who is in charge.

    1. prommie

      Damn you, I was going to say, he should have bent Rahm over and ass-raped him until he bled, then pulled out his monstrous, bloody, throbbing cock and waved it at the cameras, screaming "Ahmadenejad, Bin Ladin, Putin, all you fucking French, you want some of this? I'll make you all my bitches, I'll fuck you till you love me," quoting Mike Tyson, there, at the end. He should get some face tattoos, too, fuck yeah.

  13. MathIsHard

    WTF is "emotionalism"?

    Is it like Marxism mixed with Naziism with a dash of reverse-racism? Or am I missing some isms? Jism?

  14. RedneckMuslin

    What? Kudlow hasn't been assassinated yet for giving such poor advice on the economy. Pre-Depression, that is. Also.

  15. Comrade PhysioProf

    The following thought 've occurred to Kudlow before he submitted that piece: "Hmm, I'm accusing Obama of being a weak huggybear girlyman. Maybe I should take a couple seconds on Google and see if any of my right-wing heros are even worse huggybear girlymen, so I don't make a complete total ridiculous ass of myself? Nah. Fucke it!"

  16. BaldarTFlagass

    What's the problem with hugging? Them tough guys on the Sopranos spent half the show hugging each other. On the other hand, they were not very down with yodeling up the canyon, or at least letting it be known that they did.

    1. prommie

      I prefer "yodelling up the chasm:"
      But oh! that deep romantic chasm which slanted
      Down the green hill athwart a cedarn cover!
      A savage place! as holy and enchanted
      As e'er beneath a waning moon was haunted
      By woman wailing for her demon-lover!
      And from this chasm, with ceaseless turmoil seething,
      As if this earth in fast thick pants were breathing,
      A mighty fountain momently was forced:
      Amid whose swift half-intermitted burst
      Huge fragments vaulted like rebounding hail,
      Or chaffy grain beneath the thresher's flail:
      And 'mid these dancing rocks at once and ever
      It flung up momently the sacred river.

  17. Bluestatelibel

    Are Repubatards like Kudlow that brain-damaged that they forget Bushie making out with the Saudi prince in the wild flowers? Are do they just enjoy libruls like myself dragging the Bush photos out? Because I'm not going to, life sucks enough without having to look at them.

  18. ttommyunger

    Translation: Kudlow dreams of Barry bending him over the table during Thanksgiving Dinner, butt-fucking him senseless and then wiping his dick off on the drapes before stomping out of the house to get a pack of smokes.

    1. BaldarTFlagass

      And no doubt, like any red-blooded American male, Barry dreams of Kudlow being the perfect lover and turning into a sandwich and a six-pack after the coitus.

  19. Katydid

    So I fret about the reaction around the world to this kind of fraternity-like emotionalism in full public view.

    I call bullshit. What kind of manly man frets over anything? Guys, ask yourselves: When was the last time you found yourself "fretting" over something? Have you ever said to your significant other, male or female, "Honey, I fret that the dishwasher is full. I fret that the mail hasn't come yet. I fret that our preznit is a girlyman."

    Case closed.

  20. Mindblank

    ..and either Barry or Rahm could whip Larry's ass with one hand tied behind his back. Of course, since Rahm could basically ballet him to death, the lack of one hand isn't very handicapping to someone who's knowlegeable in the Pas de Doom.

  21. Dimitrios_M

    Someone should tell Kudlow not to worry.

    While hugging affectionately above the beltway, below the beltway they are at dagger point, one with the other.

  22. CryHavoc

    Obviously Larry Krudlow and I are in disagreement: the Barack/Rahm hug was fucking hott.

    BRB, gonna make Christine O'Donnell cry again.

Comments are closed.