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Teabagger Who Warned of DC Black People Celebrates Black Kid’s Death

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Today you get funny Cord and angry Cord!What do you do when a young black man you don’t even know dies in a hail of gang-related gunfire? To be honest, I don’t do much but briefly consider the crushing absurdity of violence before getting on with my day. I’m not a particularly religious man, but you might say a little prayer for the deceased, which is fine too! What nobody should ever do is use the young man’s life and death to make some cheap point about how black people really are dangerous thugs. You know who does that? Scummy Tea Party idiots from our recent history.

Remember that rotten asshole who warned all the Beckapalooza turds descending on DC in August to “stay off the Green and Yellow lines, because of the blacks”? He was rightfully mocked as nothing but a common, scuzzy alarmist by everyone from your Wonkette to Rachel Maddow, which pissed him off, because all he was doing was telling people to be afraid of places with high concentrations of African Americans! What’s wrong with that advice?

Now a 21-year-old black kid, recently returned from a volunteer trip to Guatemala, has been killed right near the Green and Yellow lines. And as his family grieves, this teabagger gutter pig couldn’t wait to get on his Hotmail and let all his gross pretend-friends know that he’d been vindicated.

My Visitors’ Guide …. was attacked in the Leftover blogosphere and on both Chris Matthews’ and Rachel Maddow’s shows. Neither called me but Maddow [projected] my name on her backdrop and Matthews named me several times, both calling me a racist for telling visitors not to use the Green or Yellow lines alone at night.

Both discussed the gentrifying 13th and U Street area and the “historic” Ben’s Chili Bowl that President Obama had just eaten at, which my guide would prevent visitors from going to (alone at night).

Someone was just shot and killed yesterday at lunch on this block.

Historic is in scare quotes there because we all know Ben’s Chili Bowl, despite having been in its current location for 52 years, is just some stinky trough where you have to let blacks touch your food.

Screw this guy. Or maybe everyone should just e-mail him TBD’s story about Jamal Coates, the young man who was senselessly killed on Tuesday. I hope Jamal’s smiling face breaks his fucking heart.

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About the author

Originally from Tucson, Arizona, Cord Jefferson now lives in Washington where he reports for The Root, Slate and Wonkette. He has only one kidney after donating the second to his once-ill father.

View all articles by Cord Jefferson


Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • Buzz Feedback

    We got nothing but white-on-white crime here in Montana. High concentrations of honkies (generally armed) everywhere. Avoid areas with lots of white people.

    Rest in Peace, Jamal.

    • rmjagg

      bruce major is not a friend to white people – has he ever warned whites about white-on-white crimes – ever ? since it happens every day , what excuse does he have for this ' oversight ' ?

  • deelzebub

    1. He doesn't have a heart to break. 2. He doesn't see Jamal Coates as human. 3. I hope I hope he catches a nasty case of gono-syphi-herpa-aids.

    • Redhead

      He probably already has syphilis. It would explain his thought process.

    • rmjagg

      methinks he does have a hemorroid to pop though

  • sati_demise

    Oh, he will see Jamals face and then launch an investigation on whether or not his family has ever been on welfare or food stamps or if they live in public housing.

    If not, then his heart will break.

  • metamarcisf

    The responsibility for the murder of this African American youth lies at the feet of the tea bagger who put out the visitor guide in the first place. It obviously fell into the wrong hands and the criminal element that infests this sector is using it to plan this and many other crimes.

  • MrsBiggTime

    For those of us behind Facebook-hating corporate firewalls, how about a major public service and just cough up the douchebag's email address? My favorite prn site listservs and black panther friends want to know!

  • BaldarTFlagass

    I think it would be interesting for all the black people on Facebook to send this guy a "Friend" request and see what happens.

    • Advn2rgirl

      We don't want to be his friend. We don't even want to be his frienemies.

      • BaldarTFlagass

        I figure it would make his head explode.

  • JoeMamased

    Personally, I try to avoid areas of DC with high concentrations of white people — especially those armed with scooters.

    • Terry

      As a general rule, I can't afford to live or shop in the areas of DC with high concentrations of white people.

    • Whatever

      HEY!!! What you got against scooters?????

      I agree with Terry (above) "I can't afford to live or shop in the areas of DC with high concentrations of white people." It's why I live with the rest of the poors up the GREEN/YELLOW baby! Represent!!!!

  • TanzbodenKoenig

    Teabaggers are self-absorbed racists incapable of empathy for their fellow human beings? When did THAT happen?

  • Weenus299

    Rather than lend a helping hand to communities that struggle, rather than be a big brother or a mentor, rather than teach basketball or football, rather than teach poetry or music, rather than provide a place of comfort in a sea of evil,

    this dogshit cocksucker prefers to yikyak about where not to go in DC because of all the 2-dimensional thug characters wandering about and looking to kill whitey. Yet, while oblivion awaits this helpful map-making fucknut, and he can choose to go anywhere in the white US of A he wants, he sticks it out in DC.

    He doesn't have the good sense to get lost.

  • HELisforHEL

    Very sad. And this human excrement felt the need to pound his chest in some insane "I told you so" manner. Good gawd so much hate and willful, boastful idiocy.

  • DashboardBuddha

    Jesus wept.

  • Extemporanus

    Thank you, Cord…

  • bitchincamaro2

    Jamal sounds like he had the leadership qualities, curiosity, intelligence, and courage that pukes like his killer and the racist teabaggers feeding on his corpse, clearly lack. JC, we hardly knew you.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    On a lighter note, Wonkette has a new restaurant critic. I don't think Ben's is going to like your review, however.

    (Sorry, I've expended all all my anti-racist outrage for this week, so I'm down to quoting out of context.)

  • DCHatesMe

    It's hard to be snarky at a tragic story. I went into those DC neighborhoods too, and was abducted into a self-help program.

  • slappypaddy

    no snark here. looked for it, couldn't find it.

    all i found was a dry irony clothed in a sad garment resembling an unfamiliar and inadequate measure of justice, to wit: it seems that because the racist right-winger chose to make this an issue in his twisted neo-fascist fashion, jamal coates has not died in vain.

  • Sgt_Biyatch

    Maybe I'm in the minority….but meh. Given that the bar has been set so low by the Teabagging intelligentsia, this barely registers on my outrage-o-meter. Rush Limbaugh's sweet talk to his wife is laced with more bigotry.

    • TanzbodenKoenig

      "Oh yea baby, I'm gonna do you like the Jews did 9/11"

  • SayItWithWookies

    What a fuckin' spineless liar this teabagger is — he didn't warn people not to use the Green and Yellow lines alone at night — he told them to avoid them entirely. Now he throws this news out there in some effort to feel vindicated, but he can't do it without lying. Typical actions of an insincerely self-righteous whore.

  • JMPEsq

    Yeah, like others above I keep trying to think of something funny to say but instead just feel angry at that evil racist creep.

  • Native_of_SL_UT

    Here in Utah, a white kid stabbed another white kid in an All-A-Dollar parking lot over an I-pod.
    This is why I-pods can kill you.

  • AlaskaGrrl

    Can't break his heart. Doesn't have one.

  • jfruh

    "Leftover blogosphere"? Is this a thing now?

    • TanzbodenKoenig

      Like Lamestream Media is a thing I guess.

    • Redhead

      Do they review the cold pizza left on the counter?

  • GeneralLerong

    I don't know what Bruce Majors actually looks like, but this image is what comes to my mind:

    Fat Dorian

  • Katydid

    There are no words to adequately describe the ugliness of someone like that fuckstick, but I'll try. He has an ugly heart, an ugly mind, no conscience, and no soul. The best feeling people can do is toss him aside because he's barely human.

  • MsElla

    Here's hoping Scummy McScumerson learns all about teh buttsecks from a black man. And loves it.

    Hell, that's too good for the shitbag.

    • Redhead

      Here's hoping he gets held up at gunpoint but some methed out white cracker.

  • PeaceWithHonor

    Meanwhile, in the wilds of Fairfax County, a white guy got offed by another white guy because he advocated speed bumps in their neighborhood.

  • wokeupliberal

    Unspeakably heartbreaking, to those of us who have them.

    • Neilist

      Given the frequency with which this kind of thing happens, perhaps we could harness all the energy generated by those "breaking hearts"?

      The Energy Crisis SOLVED!

  • guangho

    I moseyed on over to Mr. Major's facebook page and found this gem of a status update: Mr. Majors…..

    "is counting 32 days to Thunder Dome. If the gap narrows between O'Donnell and Loony Coons, will the Democrats just go back to screaming racism? That is, when on break from their day job rounding up black kids to sell to the educrat unions for campaign dollars"

  • Limeylizzie

    He also sounds lonely , desperate and bi-curious

    Basic Info
    Relationship Status:Single
    Interested In:Women
    Looking For:Friendship
    A Relationship
    Current City:Washington, District of Columbia
    Bio a simple country goy

    • Oblios_Cap

      I wonder which GOP senator he is?

  • GOPCrusher

    Thank God that Tea Baggers aren't racists.
    Seriously, on a report that Haiti still has not seen reconstruction money from America, a local Tea Bagger stated with a straight face "Why should we give them money, we have enough problems here. Haiti is like American blacks, expecting welfare money all the time."
    If it wouldn't have occurred at work, I would've taken great pleasure in caving this person's skull in and buried them in a shallow grave.

    • snoopyfan2010

      I wonder if a person like that realizes that part of the reason Haiti is so poor is because it was forced to pay off a debt to its former colonizer, France.

  • Sheesko

    Am I a racist for hating white people sometimes if I'm white? I mean, does my being white get me off the hook for wanting to smear this creep's face in a pile of Rutabaga Surprise? Or is it just more of a, you know, personality conflict?

    • anniegetyourfun

      I once suggested on Gawker that I don't trust white people, and there were some very upset white people on there, who warned me about a new, emerging Black Panther Party that is SUPER SCARY and why was I such an asshole?

      Personally, I think it makes sense to distrust your own kind, but that might just be me.

      • Neilist

        Personally, I don't true White People either. If only because they usually have larger, better guns than The Coloredz.

        The 54th Mass U.S. Colored Infantry notwithstanding.

        P.S. Any information on what Poor Noble, Heroic, Saintly Jamal was plugged with? The standard issue Gangzter Glock? Or something more interesting?

    • glamourdammerung

      Some of my best friends are white people.

  • JustPixelz

    AS Aaron Sorkin put in "The American President":

    How do you have patience for people who claim they love America, but clearly can't stand Americans?

  • emmelemm

    I like Funny Cord better than Angry Cord, but sometimes Angry Cord is necessary.

    Here's my snark for this: I thought all crime was committed by illegal (Messican) immigrants? How then can all crime be committed by African-Americans?

    In truth, though, it's just sad.

  • Neilist

    Jamal Coates: VICTIM! MARTYR! HERO!:

    "And Coates did stuff that gang members do. In the words of a D.C. police officer with experience handling 1-7: "He's been shot at, he's been caught with a gun, he's done robberies," the officer says, referring to Coates' teen years. "He just didn't care. His whole attitude–catch me if you can, nothing that you do is going to make me change." Another cop recalls all his interactions with Coates being negative."


    (Too bad the Second Amendment doesn't apply only to Whites.)

    [Asshole. Right. Got it.]

    P.S. They left out the part about Jamal's work on Benazir Bhutto's re-election campaign . . . she who is STILL DEAD!

    • Oblios_Cap

      As a rule, I hate cops. I realize that they're necessary, but they've never done a thing that I found to benefit in my interaction with any of them.

      • Neilist

        Back in the day, the line was: "The difference between a Liberal and a Law & Order Conservative is a mugging."

        Nowadays, the Communist Pinko Liberal SCUM don't even make that distinction.

        We had a police shooting/"incident" out here in Westlake recently. A drunk Guatemalan illegal immigrant was waving a knife in public, and the POL-ICE canceled his ticket right there.

        Big Uproar.

        Apparently, the Pigs were supposed to risk their lives by wrestling the knife away from him; should have shot the knife out of his hand; talked nicely to him until he Saw The Light, etc.

        God, Liberals are Stupid.

        Almost as bad as Conservatives, sometimes.

        Rest in Peace, Jamal . . . You Gang-Banging, Thuggie DirtBall.

        • Respitetini

          No, that was only the line among spineless fucktards who reminisced about the days when they had consciences and convictions.

          • Neilist

            Oh, that is soooo cute: "Consciences and convictions."

            Let's turn that into a chant for all the Wonketteers! Something they can recite in unison, while typing away on their keyboards for THE REVOLUTION!!!!!

            (Just don't do the typing on an expensive laptop in Jamal's former neighborhood. His Homies will steal it, and bust a cap in your ass.)

  • Gleem_McShineys

    This guy is "vindicated"

    If someone getting shot to death is what you think it takes to prove you're not a horrible douchestain, then you're not a horrible douchestain; you're THE WORST horrible douchestain ever. You actually are so cravenly grasping for the need to be "right" that you'd actually strap this kid's corpse to the bumper of your shitty argument, and think it says something positive about you and your insights.

    Hey, now who has to die this time, so you can regain your intarweb dignity, Mister Helpful Vindicated DC fuckstick? As long as its a fresh kill, right, ghoul?

    Could things like you just scab over and fall off the human race, plz? Thanks in advance.

    (Condolences to the poor murdered kid.)

  • zhubajie

    So much for Teatards not being racists!

  • Neilist

    And on top of everything else, the Assault Weapons Ban grossly inflated the prices of "assault rifles"!!!!

    So poor Jamal was forced to resort to living an Unarmed Version of "West Side Story," and was gunned down in the middle of "When You're A Jet . . . ."

    I think.

    [Right. Asshole. Got it. Pardon me for intruding on your Liberal Pinko Communist CUM Grief Orgy for this Paragon of Virtue.]

    • CalamityJames

      While your opinion on current affairs is your right and an intelligent debate is a heavenly delight, outright mockery of the tragic end of a human being is never a good idea. Should you choose to take the high ground, your educated, yet snarky, comments will be welcomed with a salivatory anticipation.

      Otherwise, get lost, get bent, get fucked.

      • Neilist

        At some point you may come to realize that "outright mockery of the tragic end of a human being" often, if not usually, is the Best Response — depending, of course, on the human being in question.

        Here, Jamal Coates was, by reliable accounts, an unvarnish thug who "died by the sword."

        If you want to bemoan the passage of this Paragon of Virtue, you have that right. Others, however, have the right to laugh at him . . . and you.

        "It takes a big man to cry. But it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man."

        [Oh, FYI: Benazir Bhutto is STILL DEAD!]

        • CalamityJames

          I didn't believe any of the Zombie Bhutto stories anyway.

  • fuflans

    matt taibbi's 'tea and crackers' article in RS is getting completely eclipsed by the stupid o'bama interview and the even stupider woodward book. i won't call this my favorite (there are so so so many), but still – relevant:

    "What they are, in truth, are narcissists. They're completely blind to how offensive the very nature of their rhetoric is to the rest of the country. I'm an ordinary middle-aged guy who pays taxes and lives in the suburbs with his wife and dog — and I'm a radical communist? I don't love my country? I'm a redcoat? Fuck you!

    It's not like the Tea Partiers hate black people. It's just that they're shockingly willing to believe the appalling horseshit fantasy about how white people in the age of Obama are some kind of oppressed minority. That may not be racism, but it is incredibly, earth-shatteringly stupid."

  • Triscuits

    All I have to say to this is…goddamnit, on all counts. (Also, I don't remember him saying anything about going "alone at night", I just remember him advising not to take certain lines, because OMG, you might encounter dem darkies). I hate people sometimes.

  • transfatz

    I don't live in DC but I'm trying to visualize a street with a line painted on it which criminals will not cross. Not very successfully I might add.

    • Oblios_Cap

      "When crossing lines is outlawed, only outlaws will cross lines."

  • CryHavoc

    "I hope Jamal’s smiling face breaks his fucking heart."

    I doubt it, but it certainly broke mine.

    Goddamnit, I hate people so fucking much.

  • Chet Kincaid

    Sorry, I am more angry and discouraged by the fact that this guy got killed for nothing but being at a funeral than I am by the stupid teabagger's post. There have been too many occasions for grieving over senseless shit like this in Chicago, for too many years. Beating up a teabagger has nothing to do with this problem. I will now go listen to "Sincerely Jane" by Janelle Monae.

  • CitizenCyanide

    Wow this Wonkette site is pure hate.