Rupert! How did you get such a sexy young wife? Oh right you 'bought' her, with all your money, ha ha.

  • Rupert Murdoch testified to Congress about immigration. Are television comedians the only people now who are allowed to testify about Mexicans? Let’s hope so! Anyway, Rupert Murdoch is “pro-immigration,” even though his teevee network is constantly reminding Real America that the brown people are stealing all the white women, and forcing them to eat tacos — tacos that might have “vegetables” in them. (Vegetables!) Rupert is of course an expert on immigration because he was a drug mule once himself, way back when, during the Weimar Republic or something like that. Rupert Murdoch is old. [NECN]
  • Arnold Schwarzenegger signed a law that will create a “health insure exchange” in California. What is a health insurance exchange? “You give us granny, and in exchange we will kill her.” [Sacramento Bee]
  • Obama is angry at Republicans for blocking all his wise Latina judge nominees. [The Caucus]
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  • Least favorite Aussie import ever.

    Too bad buying citizenship isn't legal, right Rupie?

    • BaldarTFlagass

      You've obviously forgotten Yahoo Serious.

      • Terry

        What about Paul Hogan? No, Yahoo Serious and Murdock are both WAY more annoying and offensive than Crocodile Dundee.

    • JMPEsq

      Actually, it pretty much is; the cost is $500,000, and is probably how Rupert got his citizenship.

      C'mon, this is America; you didn't really think we'd treat rich immigrants as shittily as we do poor ones, did you?

    • Murdoch should be before Congress only for his deportation hearing.

    • Pragmatist2

      Oh, come on. Olivia Newton John takes this contest in a cakewalk.

      • JMPEsq

        Mel Gibson would be worse, except his parents were actually American immigrants to Australia so he was born a citizen.

  • PsycWench

    Perhaps if Murdoch is so "pro-immigration" he should migrate himself back to where he came from. It's not like they have a jackass limit in Australia, y'know.

  • chascates

    And his News Corp gave $1 million to both the GOP Governors Association and the U.S. Chamber of Commerce this summer.

  • Badonkadonkette

    I thought Fox 'n Fiends get their panties in a bunch when sham newsmen give congressional testimony on immigration?

  • MsElla

    I don't think even Murdoch has the chutzpah to come out against other immigrants. At least not publicly. And why bark when he has Fox "News" to do it for him?

    • freakishlywrong

      Brown or Muslin immigrants need not apply however. Woof!

      • nounverb911

        What about his Chinese wife and their anchor babies?

    • "why bark when he has Fox "News" to do it for him?"

      A tactic Rupert von M almost certainly learned during his service with the Wehrmacht.

    • SarcasticNymph

      I doubt Murdoch "hates" much beyond personal poverty. Fox screams about immigrants because it draws in their target knuckle-dragger demographic. It's like W and gays. He doesn't seem to hate them himself, but that didn't stop him from running the most horrificly anti-gay campaign in history (2004) to draw his supporters out the polls. They are simply a convenient, disposable tool. It's not personal.

  • charlesdegoal

    The Pommie makes sense. Americans think there are too many immigrants like tourists think there are too many tourists.

    • snoopyfan2010

      So true. Were it not for immigrants (both the willing and unwilling kind, ahem), most of us would not even exist.

  • freakishlywrong

    That horrible, evil, ancient goblin is running the country. We're doomed.

  • Rotundo_

    Of course Rupe is pro immigration, it gives his "journalists" plenty of fodder to keep the bubbas frothing and fuming over the brown folks while Rupe suckers them into slitting their own throats at the ballot box and lining the rich folks pockets. Even Rupe doesn't believe the Faux News line, he just uses it to make money.

    • GOPCrusher

      I heard that rumor too, that Rupert is actually a liberal and he set up Faux Noise as the Ministry of Propaganda for the Republiklan Party because it would make him billions of dollars.
      But I never took the time to confirm it.

      • Rotundo_

        I don't think Rupe thinks in terms of "conservative" versus "liberal" or any of that. He is looking for suckers to buy his "product" and vote for policies that benefit him. If liberal policy benefitted the wealthy, Faux would be flying rainbow flags, advertising for planned parenthood, and railing against christianist influences in government. The only side Rupe is on is his own.

  • ShreditorsDesk

    Can't we just 'build a bridge and make him walk back'?

    • Badonkadonkette

      Fuck walking. Rats can swim.

      • DashboardBuddha

        Nicely said.

  • Toomush_Infer

    Why didn't they just ask him to submit his testimony in writing….? Pretty sure he was just "in character"….

  • JMPEsq

    Schwarzenegger made sure the new health care exchanges will all cover in vitro fertilization for men, along with cryogenic freezing for dying wives of mad scientists.

  • Toomush_Infer

    BTW, from the photo: who killed his puppy, Rosebud….?

  • FNMA

    Well, for one thing, Colbert and Murdoch are more credible than that jackass sheriff down in Arizona and the state's governor. Of course, that's not saying much.

  • Serolf_Divad

    I'd say 98% of business magnates are pro-immigration, while 98% of GOP politicians are ani-immigration. The businessmen like the cheap labor that immigration provides, whereas the politicians gain political power by playing to their base's innate bigotry. Of course, even if we managed to seal the border as GOP politicians and Teabaggers demand, we'd simply make up for the labor shortage by offering a similar number of seasonal and temporary work permits. It's all just a big game, but one in which undocumented immigrants suffer an inordinate amount.

    • PsycWench

      Immigration is therefore a lot like abortion: it can be exploited for voter turnout, but you really don't want it to end altogether because, hey, voter turnout. So you propose laws that will never be enacted and impose penalties or restrictions that cause more problems than they solve. I'm pretty sure this is on page 3 of the Republican playbook.

    • Guppy06

      I think you need a distinction here: magnates are in favor of illegal immigration, because illegal immigrants can be subject to illegal labor practices. The GOP is against immigration and magnates like that because it keeps the workforce from getting legal rights.

  • thx11380

    That whole "I have one foot in the grave" look works well for ya Murdoch!

    • LetUsBray

      There's never a banana peel when you need one.

  • MapleLeafsfordawin!

    He looks like the voyeur president at the end of Salo.

  • freakishlywrong

    Oh! And happy Cocktober Wonkateers!

  • Ducksworthy

    Came across this BBC documentary that explains why what Fux "news" does is so helpful to our reptilian overlords.

  • HedonismBot

    As California goes, so goes the nation. That's why everyone in my small town in rural Wyoming is gay marrying each other and buying organic hippie food. That's also why we're digging our own fault line. Next earthquake, and it's "Pacific Ocean, here we come!"

  • Dimitrios_M

    Up until I saw that photo, I was unaware that Aussie Aboriginals went in for head shrinking. I thought Rupert was merely a victim of brain shrinkage.

  • One way to a green card / citizenship is join the armed forces and fight our wars for us (more politically acceptable than the nasty draft). The Murdochs of the world can buy one through the EB5 visa program where you invest $1M, or $0.5M in selected areas that are economically depressed, and create 10 jobs. Huzzah, we can save our economy by giving green cards to messican drug lords.

  • neiltheblaze

    My favorite part of Rupie's "testimony" from the clips I saw was when a congresswoman used the word "immigrant" in her question, and he heard "Democrat". Hilarious. Sometimes that damn filter gets clogged and anything can spill out.

  • Mindblank

    Wasn't Rupert one of the original convicts in the New South Wales penal colony?

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Yeah, he used to run with Ned Kelly & Captain Thunderbolt.

  • SaintRond

    Years ago I had a girlfriend who accidentally left this tiny bag of cocaine in her vagina for months and she almost got Toxic Shock Syndrome because of it. People forget stuff and what you don't know can hurt you. Really. Life isn't funny.

  • Guppy06

    Can we extradite Murdoch to the UK as an escaped convict from their penal colony?

  • natoslug


  • GOPCrusher

    Because real immigrants are too busy making 50 dollars an hour picking strawberries and lettuce to go testify in front of Congress.

  • OneDollarJuana

    Bread and Circuses. Well, at least we get the circuses now.

  • Tony Curtis is dead and this dessicated skinsack of evil is testifying in front of congress. Proof positive that there is no God.

  • a_pink_poodle

    I want to be forced to eat tacos ._.

    Please, no more OM NOM NOM NOM NOM can I use some hot sauce if it's alright OM NOM NOM NOM NOM

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