SHALL COME TO THEE O CHICAGO  3:41 pm September 30, 2010

Democracy’s Angry Friend Rahm Emanuel Officially Leaving Tomorrow

by Jack Stuef

So will we have to keep talking about it when it happens?

Sources say Emanuel will be replaced at least temporarily by Pete Rouse, an Obama adviser and veteran Hill staffer.

The Associated Press reports that Emanuel will return to Chicago over the weekend and begin touring neighborhoods on Monday, according to sources familiar with his plans who spoke on condition of anonymity because they did not want to pre-empt Emanuel’s announcement.

“He intends to run for mayor,” one of the people told The Associated Press.

As Rahm would say, “Fuck off, asshole. Enjoy Chicago.” Something like that, probably. (Is he the one who calls people “Jabroni” all the time?) [WP]

 

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 17 comments }

JMPEsq September 30, 2010 at 3:54 pm

Pete Rouse will probably get banned from politics for life after it's discovered he's illegally bet on elections, including even races where he was Campaign Manager.

JoeMamased September 30, 2010 at 4:03 pm

No way he's getting into the Hall of Fame!

sharesaypie October 3, 2010 at 12:00 am

it is not illegal so long as ur in vegas.
er…mmm. fuck. now where do i go?
also. must change avatar. can't have kids cussing.
'specially cute as pie ones.

Mumbletypeg September 30, 2010 at 3:55 pm

Tagged: "shall come to thee O Rahm Emanuel."

Thanks for wrecking my nostalgia for a perfectly good hymn, Stuef. Now how will I ransom captive lyrics from this reinterpretation, that will interminably interrupt any righteous worshiping endeavors toward Advent season?

BaldarTFlagass September 30, 2010 at 3:56 pm

Well, in the last 55 years, the Chicago Mayoralty has seen 3 black guys, a woman, some kind of Balkan dude, and 2 Daleys. Maybe the time has come for a mean Jewish guy.

bumfug September 30, 2010 at 6:46 pm

James Watt called, wants to know where the cripple is.

7pilesofwisdom October 1, 2010 at 3:50 pm

There was Mayor Washington, who was larger than life, but maybe not 3 times larger, and Eugene Sawyer served out Washington's last term — but I can't think of another black Chicago mayor (David Orr is a white guy from Rogers Park). If a Serbian can become governor (and we all know how well that worked out), perhaps Chicago is ready for a Jewish mayor. My hunch is that the black community and Eastern European communities might be a tad reluctant to jump on board — and that unlikely alliance constitutes a Chicago Democratic majority.

SayItWithWookies September 30, 2010 at 4:05 pm

Glenn Beck is clearly losing his mojo — as far as I know, he's never denounced this Pete Rouse fellow as a communist, a terrorist or the architect behind the nefarious leftist takeover of all our freedoms. And another chance to show the world what a prophet he is slips through his fingers.

nounverb911 September 30, 2010 at 4:05 pm

Rahm will do fine as Mayor (provided he finds a place to live), just as long he remembers to plow the streets after the next blizzard, and doesn't appoint Steve Bartman the next Parks Commissioner.

harry_palmer September 30, 2010 at 4:23 pm

"(Is he the one that calls people “Jabroni” all the time?) "

I think he once called Eric Massa "Heywood Jablomy."

outragedcitizen September 30, 2010 at 5:03 pm

Fuck you, Rahm, thanks for nothing. And, sorry, Chicago, but thanks for taking a bullet for the rest of us.

SudsMcKenzie September 30, 2010 at 5:17 pm

It's 1206 miles to Chicago, we have a plane with a half tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and I'm rockin 9 fingers. …. Hit It

x111e7thst September 30, 2010 at 5:20 pm

"Emanuel will return to Chicago over the weekend and begin touring neighborhoods on Monday"

So just don't make him stab someone in the eye with his penis!

MsElla September 30, 2010 at 6:12 pm

*cough*The Guardian called Rouse a "cat-loving bachelor." *cough*

Limeylizzie September 30, 2010 at 8:55 pm

Maybe they meant "pussy-loving bachelor"?

chascates September 30, 2010 at 6:30 pm

But we can still say this administration is all Chicago machine politics, right?

housbinfarteen October 1, 2010 at 12:54 pm

Rahm as mayor of Chicago, "Big Bill" Thompson will be jealous.

However, I will miss the mean little shit.

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: