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Carl Paladino likes thongs. They give his junk girth.Carl Paladino is not getting along with the newspapermen and women who comprise America’s distinguished Press Corps. Why is this? Did these humorless reporters not enjoy the pictures of Barack Obama eating fried chicken-flavored watermelon, the ones Paladino forwarded to them, Subject: “LOL! I’m RACIST”? Apparently not, and to make matters worse, Paladino almost beat up a reporter just the other day, because he is tired of all these leeches following him around and asking him questions (he’ll answer your questions after he’s governor). And like all important World Events, this scuffle has been preserved for posterity on a crappy cellphone video camera.

According to a cellphone video of the encounter posted online by Capital Tonight, a statewide political program that runs on the YNN network, the reporter, Fredric U. Dicker, confronted Mr. Paladino aggressively about his criticism of Mr. Cuomo.

Mr. Paladino responded in kind, cursing at the reporter and accusing Post photographers of harassing his family.

“You send another goon to my daughter’s house and I’ll take you out, buddy,” Mr. Paladino said, according to the video.

The argument grew so heated that aides to Mr. Paladino moved in between the two men and escorted Mr. Paladino to a nearby restroom.

To be fair, this Fredric U. Dicker fellow was definitely getting all up in Paladino’s racist grill. And also, taking photographs of young, illegitimate children is not really in “good taste,” according to EmilyPost.com, which is a real website with excellent etiquette tips. But that’s enough fairness for one day: Carl Paladino is a violent monster. [Capital Tonight/The Caucus]

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  • prommie

    Hot Carl, he's a real beaut.

  • Not_So_Much

    This is shocking because he's been so sane and measured otherwise.

  • He's just saying out loud what he's been thinking all these years anytime he ran into anyone who disagreed with him.

  • notreelyhelping

    Awesome. He makes John McCain look like Ghandi.

  • freakishlywrong

    *Sigh* A restroom. It had to be a restroom.

    • Bonzos_Bed_Time

      Gotta' relax somewhere. Might as well be where you feel the most at home.

    • transfatz

      As I heard it they fought over the restroom too.

  • nounverb911

    Palladino better be careful, he's messing with the official Teabagger newspaper now.

    On a related note, maybe Bill Orally will send one of his goons producers to stalk Paladino, the video could be priceless.

  • DonnyKerabotsos

    So much press and NOBODY has a real camera?

  • Umbrageofsnow

    I like the Slimer finger puppet. Cuomo should use that in his ads.

    Is anyone else shocked that the race has closed to as close as 6 points in the latest Quinnipiac poll? So many crazy people being so much closer to winning than they should be.

    • Limeylizzie

      I think that's an outlier, other polls show Cuomo with a decent lead.

  • Rambone

    So he tells the reporter that he's gonna "take him out" and then goes to the restroom . . . not very subtle, but a man's got needs, I suppose . . .

    • Not_So_Much

      Honestly, you can't expect him to not rub one out after he pwned that reporter.

  • prommie

    That green thing, thats Gonorrhea, isn't it?

  • Limeylizzie

    Oh please let the debates between these two ill-tempered bastards, Cuomo and Carl, be just chock-full of bitterness and hate.

    • What will be awesome is when Carl laces into Andy for his horrible lapses in personal ethics, and then goes full high dudgeon when Andy ripostes with "jigga-boo watermelon love-child Vatican."

    • Terry

      They capture the spirit of New York well then, don't they?

  • BaldarTFlagass

    It would be real cool if Fredric had his first name legally changed to Woodent or something similar.

    • Tundra Grifter

      I would vote for either "Wood" or "Did."

  • CapnFatback

    The real news: the principal from Back to the Future is now a reporter in New York!

  • Bezoar

    The way Carl says it, it's "Fredric, you dicker!".

  • "Frederick U. Dicker" got in a question and Carl didn't have the good grace to make a penis joke? IT WAS RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF HIS FACE.

    • elviouslyqueer

      Even more so when the pair adjourned to the restroom.

      • petehammer

        Elviouslyqueer for three from downtown!

    • mumbly_joe

      Wait, this guy's name is F. U. Dicker, and Carl didn't even think of that? Guy seems to really lose his touch, when the humor involved isn't horrifically racist.

      • JMPEsq

        I really find it hard to believe that F.U. Dicker is not a made-up joke name; like Biggus Dickus

        • Ducksworthy

          You beat me to it, so to speak.

  • DaSandman

    Who knew he was a vile tempered racist who likes to spread his seed about? Not me!

  • JustPixelz

    "…send another goon…"

    Another goon!?! Newspapers claim they can't even afford ribbons for their typewriting machines. But when it comes to goons, they've got plenty to spare.

    • Sometimes they have to go cut-rate and make do with a few birddogs.

      • petehammer

        Homer: [answering the door] Who is it?
        Voice: Goons.
        Homer: Who?
        Voice: Hired goons.

  • WhatTheHeck

    Conversation went something like this: “I’ll take you out… to a movie and dinner and whatever happens after dinner. That]s up to you.”

    But you know, journalists can sometimes benefit from a take-down.

    • Crank_Tango

      sounds like he wanted to take Mr. Dicker out on the dildo lube boat for a three hour tour…

      • Ducksworthy

        I think you're on to something. The Dildo Lube Boat could be the basis for a great TeeVee series. Keep working on it.

  • imissopus

    Hot Carl.

  • nounverb911

    But the dissent only goes one way, if you dissent against them then you are automatically an islamofascist.

    • Not_So_Much

      Why do you hate 'Murka so much? Also?

  • Terry

    "escorted Mr. Paladino to a nearby restroom"

    Uh oh. Restrooms are male GOP'ers krytonite.

    • pourly_drafted

      Wait 'till it comes out that Larry Craig was in one of the stalls.

  • MapleLeafsfordawin!

    Where does one find dirtywork-doing bird dogs? Archie 'n' Pals?

  • mumbly_joe

    Wow, racism, thinly veiled death threats, and hypocrisy (this all came up because philandering asshole Paladino was "asking questions" -read, asserting without any actual basis to support his claims- about "Cuomo's affairs"). What's not to love about this guy, soon to be the next Governor of the State of New York.

    • Missyb9479

      Don't foget the best part: he kept the love child secret from his wife until the death of their son. Then he just sort of told her. Their other children already knew. He had told them about the girl earlier but made them promise not to tell their mother.

      I think that this guy might be a bigger ass than Newt and the cancer divorcing. Paladino's wife is still stuck with him.

      • Paladino is a classless, racist, hypocritical slob. He fits right in with the Teabagger wet dream of making over 'Merika in their own image.

      • Ducksworthy

        Paladino's wife is still stuck with him.
        Well yeah. It was that or excommunication.

  • JMPEsq

    With two men from prominent New York Italian Families running against each other, it shouldn't be too long before it turns into real goons fighting in the streets.

  • glamourdammerung

    The argument grew so heated that aides to Mr. Paladino moved in between the two men and escorted Mr. Paladino to a nearby restroom.

    And a good salad tossing was had by all?

  • PeaceWithHonor

    Palin/Paladino 2012

  • Limeylizzie

    Insanely excellent alt-text.

  • loquacioustunes

    The argument grew so heated that aides to Mr. Paladino moved in between the two men and escorted Mr. Paladino to a nearby restroom.

    In hindsight, that was probably a bad idea. We all know about Republicans and restrooms.

    • HistoriCat

      No no – nothing calms Paladino down better than an almighty ass-fucking. Or maybe a blowjob if they were in a hurry.

  • JackDempsey1

    Carl accusing the Post guy of being Cuomo's "stalking horse" and his "bird dog," which are perfectly fine 1920s-style pejoratives, though each would sound better if they were delivered by a guy wearing spats. The preferred contemporary expression is "panda scooper."

    • prommie

      My haberdashier no longer carries spats.

      • Chet Kincaid

        That's because Scorsese bought them all for Steve Buscemi.

    • Tundra Grifter

      Some years ago I took my wife to San Francisco's Black & White Ball. Held every two years, very ritzy, formal – black tie for men, etc.

      Out of the approximately 1,200 men attending, I was the only one that year wearing spats. Several gentlemen jealously asked me where I got them.

      I was, of course, quite happy to tell them: "My wife gave them to me."

  • Limeylizzie

    OT Rahm will announce his resignation on Friday.

    • Good riddance. Chicago's loss is our gain.

    • Tundra Grifter

      I don't think Mr. Paladino would shake his finger in Rahm's face.

      And we know Rahm isn't a finger shaker…

  • Katydid

    Meh, I'm from New York. In the Big Apple that's how we say howdy.

  • OneYieldRegular

    Slightly O/T, but what wretched health problem could be causing Paladino's eyes to look like he's been waking up every night from a coffin for the last 800 years?

    • freakishlywrong

      He's got some serious tea bags under those peepers. I think intense, unfocused hatred and protectionism cause them to look like that.

    • Extemporanus

      Carl Paladino is literally Crazy Harry.

  • PocketsTheClown

    Telly Savalas lookin‘ pretty good for a zombie.

    • Extemporanus

      "Who loves ya, baby?" would actually make for a pretty swell campaign slogan.

  • An_Outhouse

    As a NYer, I'm kind of hoping Horse Cock Carl wins because you just can't say Horse Cock enough.

    • mumbly_joe

      Yeah, see, meanwhile my mother is a poor and an old and a minority, and I kinda don't want to see her sent to a prison camp, for all the horse cock jokes in the world.

  • slappypaddy

    he's going to show everyone who's boss. everyone's going to show him it's not him.

  • DashboardBuddha

    Escorted Mr. Paladino to a nearby restroom…where he took a wide stance and soon relaxed.

  • Mr. Dicker needs to go cover the AG race in Michigan, because I want to see "Shrivel dishes Schuette and Cox to Dicker."

  • HistoriCat

    Please – who among us hasn't wanted to punch a New York Post reporter in the face?

  • Mindblank

    F. U. Dicker is my new hero. And web-name.

  • Weenus299

    "Don't make me angry, Mr. FU Dicker. … You wouldn't like me when I'm angry!"

  • Pragmatist2

    I LOVE the smell of losers in the morning!!!!

  • arclight2012

    OMG, Paladino is comedic gold! I only wish the boring Repooplicans we have here in Ohio (that will probably win everything) were that interesting. Instead we get John "I take my showers at night and that's why I look like Alfalfa" Kasich and Rob "Oh, This Is Ohio? Gee Golly, I Thought This Was Iowa" Portman.

  • Putin's flying helicopter penis would have been perfect for this press conference.
    http://wonkette.com/391872/flying-penis-invades-r

    • whiskeybaby

      I will never get tired of seeing that flying helicopter penis.

    • Gleem_McShineys

      Someone needs to administer the same kind of cockslap to Paladino as the Helipecker got.

  • NewYorkJew

    From the Post's Website:

    "Post State Editor Fredric Dicker is the dean of the Capitol press corps, having covered state government for three decades and he has won every major New York journalism award for his work."

    And from Paladino's campaign (the end of their bathetic rant about Dicker and Cuomo):

    "Carl has returned to Buffalo to console his upset daughter. The Post photographers are gone. But will Mr. Dicker, who has no children, publish the photos? That is Carl's main concern."

    The "dean" "has no children"???

    "Carl's main concern" is that the "dean" "has no children" and therefore will "publish the photos"??

    But I thought "Carl's main concern" was, well, porn?

  • Limeylizzie

    He was upset because Fred Dicker had tried to get photos of his child from a woman not his wife….so two women , at least, have fucked this hideous cunt????

  • neiltheblaze

    What is this "fairness" thing you speak of? And why on earth would anyone bother being fair to this sodden sack of fuck?

  • Apparently it's okay for liberals to take pictures of 10-year old girls in their own homes in order to collect dirt on their political opponents.

    Shouldn't surprise anyone really, they did the same thing to Sarah Palin's minor daughter too.

    • JMPEsq

      Huh? This guy works for the right-wing NY Post, and you're assuming he's a liberal because…? And you should also bringing up stuff that actually happened, not just making shit up; like Michelle Malkin's sending followers to stalk and harass the family of a 12-year-old boy, for having the temerity to speak against the Republican's evil attempts to rescind S-Chip: http://crooksandliars.com/2007/10/09/graeme-foste
      And later again with an 11-year-old girl, for noting the obvious, that the teabaggers are mean: http://crooksandliars.com/john-amato/michelle-mal

    • neiltheblaze

      You haven't heard the name Graham Frost, have you.

  • "Huh? This guy works for the right-wing NY Post, and you're assuming he's a liberal because…?"

    I wasn't referring to the photographer – I was referring to the commenters on this post.

    "And you should also bringing up stuff that actually happened, not just making shit up;"
    http://www.buffalonews.com/city/politics/article2
    You really need to try and visit some real news sites rather than trying to get all your "news" through opinion/advocacy sites like this one.

    " like Michelle Malkin's sending followers to stalk and harass the family of a 12-year-old boy"

    You're equating visiting some commercial property and talking to the tenants with actually going to the private home, onto the property, taking photos in the window, and taking mail out of the mailbox? How reality-challenged of you. One is investigative journalism type stuff, one is not only illegal but extremely creepy.

    • JMPEsq

      Wait, so you were claiming that we, the commenters, all took photos of the girl? How would you know that?

      And then you just link again to an article about NY Post photographers, which once again does nothing to support your strange blaming of liberals for this.

      "actually going to the private home, onto the property, taking photos in the window, and taking mail out of the mailbox?" – Yes, that is in fact exactly what Malkin's psychotic followers, none of whom were journalists, did to that boy's family; and it was very, very creepy.

      • "Wait, so you were claiming that we, the commenters, all took photos of the girl? How would you know that?

        No, I said that you all were defending the photographers.

        "And then you just link again to an article about NY Post photographers, which once again does nothing to support your strange blaming of liberals for this."

        You implied that I made up the trespassing. I linked to an article that showed I didn't make it up.

        "Yes, [trespassing] is in fact exactly what Malkin's psychotic followers, none of whom were journalists, did to that boy's family; and it was very, very creepy."

        Wrong. Read the article again. It says nothing about her or her "followers" going to their home. It says that she drove by on a public street, she went to a commercial property owned by the family, and some bloggers called their house. Apparently the people on this site have a big problem with that when it's a liberal, but no problem with snapping pictures of a 10-year old while on the property, or going through the mail, when it's a liberal.

        • JMPEsq

          Wait, where was anyone defending the photographers? We've been joking about how Paladino is a creepy, violent, racist asshole; no one has defended the photographers.

          Read the linked article – yes, Malkin's followers went to the home.

          And once again, you say we're OK with this "when it's a liberal". Where the fuck does it say the Post photographer was a liberal? You're just pulling that out of your ass; especially strange since this guy works for the NY Post, which has an even even more overt right-wing bias than the rest of the mainstream media.

          Poopyhead.

  • babsinbuffalo

    Two things I don't get: First, did anyone really sneak up on his daughter and take pictures of her or harass her in any way? That would be wrong … even worse than her picture being plastered all over the local papers not long ago when Carl "acknowledged" her. In spite of his alleged concerns about her privacy, the young lady attends events as part of the family. And 2, does he have balls or what? He's going to bring up Cuomo's alleged affair years ago, when he had a child as a result of a long term affair? Pot, meet kettle,

    • NorthStarSpanx

      It's the Gingrich soft-shoe.

      It only works with white children though, they'll rally around and say things like, "Life Happens."

      But McCain's adopted brown baby was uncomfortable in the GOP's eyes and worthy of disgusting innuendo and rumors.

  • NewYorkJew

    Yup.

  • Tundra Grifter

    What he really said was "I'll take it out."

    And then he did.

  • Tundra Grifter

    Personally, I think it's great that the post-9/11 spirit of everyone being so together lives on in New York.

    Other than that Mosque thing, of course.

    And this.

  • No, City/Region section of the Buffalo News counts as news, as opposed to Wonkette, which counts as opinion. (A dead giveaway is the word "news" in the name of the publication)

    You think one has to be a lawyer to know what trespassing is?

  • Chet Kincaid

    (apologies for the accidental down-thumb)

  • NorthStarSpanx

    Snort, he'll answer questions after he's Governor.

  • housbinfarteen

    He'll get the 7-virgins from his "7-virgins and a Mule" video/email to vote for him.

  • Lost_Teabaggers

    To thier credit YNN chose not to run the post-script to vile racist-thing Paladino threatening to beat a Dicker: Moments after adjouring to the restroom a visibly subdued and calm Paladino emerged with some TP hanging from his zipper and his aide appeared while whiping his chin off….

    The official Republican moto for Men's rooms: whatever happens in the Men's Room, stays in the Men's Room.

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