Stephen Colbert disgraced the dignified chambers of Congress with his recent testimony about Mexicans. But did you know that Stephen Colbert and his teevee show also gave Congress genital warts, which is actually not a big deal because Congress collects sexytime diseases, as a hobby? According to a former Hill staffer: “My experience with that show is like herpes. It never goes away, and it itches and sometimes flares up.” (That’s disgusting.) Thanks for nothing except herpes, Stephen Colbert. Congress is officially blacklisting you, and no one will talk on your teevee show ever again.
Harsh truth: Stephen Colbert is having a difficult time finding Congresspeople to interview for his comedy segments, apparently because his evil teevee show uses deceptive techniques like “editing” in order to make guests look foolish? This is obviously not the case with FOX News or any other Legitimate teevee news station.
And so, as our friends at the Politico report, Stephen Colbert’s relationship with Congress has soured, and he will probably go bankrupt and then die from heartbreak. And it is a good thing Mr. Colbert is already married, because if he had a wedding in the near future we are sure Congress would send a Predator drone to “crash it.” [The Politico]
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Well, Colbert's experiment can be brought to a conclusion. Now we know how long it takes for the GOP congressional delegation to detect sarcasm.
Although in all fairness, the Politico article says that the Colbert boycott is a bipartisan (lack of) effort.
I'll probably get all my "p" diamonds taken away for saying this, but I think we're on the far side of the curve. There's only so much mileage one can get out of this type of act before even the most dense public officials realize there are being subtly mocked.
Can't wait to watch Colbert tonight, see how what he does with the article. And was that almost a balanced article in Politico? Guess the assholes who run it still want to go on the show.
Also too, at least when Colbert deceptively edits, you know he is doing it, unlike other shows.
Who among us has never deceptively edited, really? Isn't that The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life, in the end, editing the movie of yourself that you show to others?
Go back to the sixties you Goffman-loving hippie!
My true loves are Fox-Piven and Cloward! The secret leaders of our commie conspiracy, though some on the right are starting to catch on.
Unfortunately, some of us are living outtakes.
I need a stunt double.
I need a rewind button.
I should have been a pile of ragged film, scuttling across the editing -room floor.
I've been waiting forever to see a nice TS Eliot reference on this blog. I feel like my fiscal year is now complete.
Sounds like someone was in Christine O'Donnell's post-modernism class at Phoenix University on the the Thames.
Nah Politico's just scared. They know Colbert and his Harvard-educated staffers will be able to locate Mike Allen's house in about 5 minutes.
Yeah they just need to find the one that bisects several all you can eat restraunts, has excessive emails from hairclub clients and sits comfortably in the bowels of the RNC…so in other words, every RNC building.
Also, plus, also, too, sometimes he doesn't deceptively edit per se, but instead baits the idiots at Fox News into doing the same, even though they're somehow not nearly as infamous for doing that sort of thing, all the time.
Oh no! The republicans have lost their sense of humor. This is serious folks. No more watermelon jokes.
They stil have Mallard Filmore, ha ha, boy he sure cracks me up.
Do not say that which should not be named. My dearly departed Reaganite father, bless his soul, would send me those. AHHHHH, how many times can you tell the same joke about hippie college professors twisting the minds of our impressionable youth.
Although I guess Doonesbury is a bit long in the tooth, isn't it…
But still fresh, with the up-to-date story line of Toggle and Alex.
But more importantly, what diseases did Congress give Stephen?
Terminal rictus of anything below the hairline would be my guess.
That level of "all else failing" is Apocalyptic. In other words, coming no later than Tuesday.
Being as Congress is roughly as popular as AIDS these days, I suspect this may be a calculated move on Steven's part. Not that I would expect Teh Politico to look that deep into…well…anything, really.
That's ok – I've always conceived of the Republican Party as a colony of crab lice.
I wonder what sexytime disease Elmo gave Congress… Lisporrhea? GrouchAids? Let's ban that hunk of carpet for having a hand up his ass and the balls to address our nations leaders!
I imagine Lamb Chop gave them scrapie.
My experience with Republican congressmen is like herpes; because they've all got it, from either hookers or random bathroom blowjobs.
Anonymous Hill Staffer seems to be just a little too familiar with that metaphor. He obviously jumped on the O'Donnell chastity bandwagon a little too late.
Who is the "top" in the above graphic of elephants humping? Is it the Teabaggers, because they are so aggressive and anal rapey, and (hopefully) about to destroy their corporate masters with their whackadoo TP nominees? Or is it the establishment GOP, because they've been f$%^ing the whole country for years and are taking advantage of the 'Baggers' naivety (i.e. their dumb, misdirected populist rage?)
Yes.
I guess if Colbert is like herpes, Teh Wonkettz is tantamount to penile gangrene.
Candiru (now with sarcastic nymphs. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Candiru
If Stephen Colbert is Congressionial Herpes, then running away to campaign before voting on the middle class tax cuts is Valtrex?
Riley, I thought that the Politihoze had been banhammered or at least sent to keep Butterstick company in Mongolia or wherever.
Brother Mr Colbert should just thank his lucky stars that Rep Tom Tancredo isn't the President of Congress, who would have had him hauled off for rendition and enhanced interrogation techniques for making light of the illegal mexican crisis which is the #1 through #4,896 threat to Our Dominion, and just ahead of the Water Willies ban on Church Youth Group outings due to alleged herpes threats!
Wonder what Elmo gave them…or God forbid, John "crazy ass" Travolta!
http://tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com/2010/09/though...
Colbert initially succeeded with his off-color “Better Know a District” shtick because many lawmakers saw it as free and friendly exposure.
Now, many realize that there are considerable risks that accompany those rewards.
If you knowingly go on a program whose initial premise is to mock you, YOU are an idiot and have no right to complain. If you have a press person who ok's you to go on a program whose initial premise is to mock you, THEY are an idiot and should be fired ASAP for not vetting the program.
The ones I feel bad for are the press folk who beg their boss not to go on the show and the CongressCritter thinks "Oh, I'm pretty funny, I can hold my own." Nope. Remember (1) Colbert is a master at this and (2) he gets the final edit. No wonder all the political communications people I know have drinking problems.
Not to be racist, but have you noticed that the only congresscritters who can consistently turn the tables on Colbert are the black ones? You can get to congress as an idiot white person with blissful ease, but to get to congress as a colored gentleman, you are 99.999 percentile of sharp as a barrel of stainless steel nails.
There were a few congresspeople who got it. The honorable gentleman from the San Fernando Valley comes to mind.
"Porn? There's no porn industry in my district."
"No, no one here ordered a pizza…"
Aw, poor wittle Kongress. The reality of it is we all know that our representatives intellectual prowess and moral superiority is BEYOND QUESTION! Amen.
Now that Congress has herpes, can we cut off their access to health care so they struggle with burning and itching crotches through the rest of the 2010 campaign.
This is Congress working The First Step at its new Publicity Anonymous meeting.
Anyone who's so much of a sissy they can't handle a little fun deserves what they get. And so does anyone who's such a complacent pompous ass (and some of them probably don't know it) that they think Colbert won't make them look like a fool also deserves what they get. It's sorta like Dancing with the Stars except it's in a medium all the celebrities are supposed to be used to — so really it's more like Acting with the Cast of CSI:Miami.
Shouldn't that be "It's more like ACTING with the CAST….
[puts on sunglasses]
..of CSI:Miami."
And to be especially dramatic you can tilt your head.
Well, Stephen will just have to go undercovers….one can only try not to wonder what bedbugs he'll find there to go with the herpes….
Congress is hoping that the plight of migrant workers will be drowned out by the sound of unrelenting whines.
I didn't know there were so many migrant workers on the US speed skating team.
If they don't want a comedian in the house, then they shouldn't invite a comedian. They can always go back to hassling ballplayers over steroids.
After moving back to California months ago, I finally filled out my voter registration form last night, and plan on sending it in today. Unfortunately, it is probably a waste of time, as the only candidate I can support for ANY office at this point is Lizard People. Have our political offfices always been filled by petulant three year olds, or have we really fallen apart in the past 30 years? I'd seriously welcome alien overlords at this point, as long as they promised to mainly eat the shouty and extreme among us.
While not a fan of the Brown Boxer, the female billionaire Laurel and Hardy impersonators leave me sick to my stomach.
Prop 19 will hopefully fix that.
I was so offended by Colbert pointing out that migrant workers have no rights and do jobs we don't want for barely any money. We should be demonizing these demons. They come into our country and steal the jobs of those four Americans actually willing to do farm work. Empathy for the oppressed in UnAmerican.
Cornpackers unite! (For justice, not for buttsecks)
Boycott Colbert!
“I had to tell [my boss], ‘no,’” said one Republican House aide. “He kept pushing back. He thinks he’s funny enough. But I said, ‘No, you don’t understand. They will edit it to make you look stupid.’”
Oh, I don't think editing is going to change what's already common knowledge.
In the editing bay, they call that sort of editing "Just push play."
Anyone who could edit a congressman to make him look SMART should get an emmy.
For being the halls of actual, real power, congress sure is sensitive much.
That's what happens when you go in bareback about the wetbacks.
Thats OK, he has a "Fall Back Position".
.. wait, .. what?
Brain tumor?
I miss The Politico boycott.
Stop being funny?
BREAKING NEWS! Congress is butthurt – film at eleven!
Given what tertiary syphilis has already apparently done to its collective brain, I'm surprised the herpes even registered with Congress. Can't wait for the locomotor ataxia to turn them into the Ministry Of Silly Walks.
September is one of the cruelest months.
Let us go, then, you and I, into the airport men's room stall….
Someone either in the screen name or their personal description has a Slouching towards Bethlehem reference. And my computer wanted to correct that to Slouching towards Bethesda . . . .
Come to think of it, I could use a fluffer.
Who among us couldn't?
If I could just have another take, I think I would nail it next time.
What happens when you put a fluffer and Michelle Bachman between two slices of bread?
You get a fluffernutter sandwich.
Do I dare eat this dude's junk?
These posts are everything that's right with Wonkette.
That would probably be me.
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