What To Do Between the Ridiculous Heat and Terrible Cold

As you may have figured out by now, it is no longer summer. From Oktoberfests to apple picking to the upcoming mass exodus of half the city, fall is the perfect time to get fat, attempt manual labor, and be gainfully unemployed. Within three months, the entire city will once again be under piles of snow — or maybe it will still be sunny, because of Jim Inhofe’s global warming, who knows. Meanwhile, here are some fun autumnal things for you to do.

• Apple and Pumpkin Picking: Picking fruit is fun, so long as the picking happens in October and November, can be done at a leisurely pace, isn’t difficult, and your livelihood doesn’t depend upon it. If you’re curious what it’s like to gather your own apples and pumpkins, head to Stribling Orchard or Butler’s Orchard, where you can even pick your own raspberries.
• Potenza: With fall comes the opportunity to eat all things pumpkin. Potenza is offering seven pumpkin dessert items (all small plates!) including a Pumpkin Cake with sweet spice glaze, Pumpkin Dessert Ravioli with candied sage and buttermilk caramel, and other dishes that include the words “bombolini,” “aforgato” and “anglaise” that we can only assume are mouthwatering. They’re also offering a special Pumpkin Bellini made from items we have no trouble understanding: pumpkin, VODKA and Prosecco.
• Oktoberfest: Soon the pig roasts will end and all there will be left to do is drink. And look, here’s an event that has to do with beer and not pigs:  Pizzeria Paradiso is hosting an Autumn Fest this weekend. All 28 of their draft lines will be filled with Oktoberfest, pumpkin, and other seasonal beers and they will also be serving a special pumpkin-pesto, pancetta and parmesan pizza.
• Corn Maze: Make your way through three miles of paths that are in an eight-acre cornfield all while attempting to find six checkpoints. Yes, it could only be the “American Dream Corn Maze,” and what would autumn be without it?
• FotoWeek DC: Of all the Fall Festivals, FotoWeek DC — with its photos, contests, exhibits and LUNCHTIME lectures — is not to be missed.

What else? BiergartenHaus is also hosting an Oktoberfest, as is Rustico, and admission to Dumbarton Oaks is FREE starting November 1, and the Jews will celebrate their literary capabilities.