- Mike Castle won’t run as a write-in candidate for President! (But you already knew this. However, Mike just announced he would not seek the office of “U.S. Senator, from Delaware.”) This is good news for Oxford Sex Demon Christine O’Donnell, since now that Mike Castle won’t split the “sane vote” she is guaranteed to lose. Because does Christine O’Donnell even want to be a U.S. Senator? We think not. She wants to be a FOX News “analist” or whatever. Or maybe she will endorse her favorite brand of masturbation cream, for some money and a lifetime supply of masturbation cream? Christine wants to live the dream, and you can’t do that if you’re a U.S. Senator. So you jerks can judge her all day long, but we shall see who’s laughing in a year, when you are jobless and hungry and Christine O’Donnell is pregnant with Newt Gingrich’s 1,000th illegitimate child. (Jesus will be laughing, at all of us.) [The Caucus]
- Biggest Sore Loser in the Entire World “Lisa Murkowski” is leading in the polls with 41%, while Joe Miller’s lumberjack shtick has attracted 30% of the vote. Meanwhile, Jim DeMint is sobbing in a corner somewhere, mumbling about “that woman” as he goes diarrhea in his adult diapers. [Political Wire]
- A.I.G. has been busy at the Glenn Beck Chalkboard, devising a plan to repay American taxpayers the hundreds of billions of dollars it borrowed all those many years ago. Hooray! According to the New York Times, “Under the plan, the Federal Reserve Bank of New York would be repaid the nearly $20 billion that it is owed and the Treasury Department would convert the $49.1 billion in preferred stock that it holds into 1.66 billion common shares. Over all, A.I.G. received a bailout package of nearly $180 billion.” Wait, what? What about the other $160 billion? Good grief. [NYT]
{ 60 comments }
I thought it was spelled "Hooray!"
No, I think he meant "hurry" as in "hurry up and pay us back" but he just fingerchecked.
The Murkey One is leading Master Stubble? That's good news. Not that I want either one to win…I just like seeing the Snowbilly Grifter shot down.
I heard Lisa Murk-ow-ski give a speech at a dinner a couple of years ago (ironically, or not, in a wheelchair due to a painful skiing accident). I liked her in spite of myself. And who knows, after getting screwed so mercilessly by her own party, she might switch, like Jumpin' Jim Jeffords. Repubs can even come up with some insipid nickname for her, like Moooovin' Lisa Murkowski.
Yeah, I try really really hard to dislike her because of the nepotism thing and stands she's taken that I disagree with, but she seems like a nice enough person.
Well…she does seem sane so I'll give her that. I have nothing against sane conservatives. I might disagree with them -take my own senator, Olympia Snowe, for example. She's a repub, but I have usually voted for her in the past.
Never knew you were from Maine, too.
Yer from Maine? Rock on. I thought everyone here lived in DC.
Now we have mention of Maine. Earlier today Blue Oyster Cult's "Cagey Cretins" (Being chased around by the neighbor's cat, Well it's so lonely in the state of Maine) was running through my head, down here in Texas no less. Weird.
The plate of shrimp is always with us.
I never thought I'd pull for a Repug, but in Mudkowski's case I am making an exception. The last thing this country needs is a teabagger in the Senate. Better the enemy you know.
If Lisa Murkowski wins, the Palin Clan would be best served by beating a hasty retreat out of Alaska ASAP. Otherwise they may find themselves set adrift on an ice floe in the Bering Sea.
That would make an awesome reality show. Put the whole clan (and Levi) on an ice sheet. No supplies…just a rifle, knives, and fishing gear. Last one to not succumb to cannibalism wins the grand prize.
Working title: Bering Down
Now that's 'Must See TeeVee' I can believe in.
Somebody get on this. It's a fabulous idea, and the Palins are so fucking stupid and such attention whores that they'd sign on without considering the details. Of course, 'Considering' is something they don't know how to do to begin with.
I feel juveile, but "analist" really made me laugh. Good show, young Riley!
Is an Analist something like a Mentalist? I've seen ads for some TV show on CBS about some psychic that helps the cops. I guess an Analist would pull crime-solving clues out of his/her ass?
CSI: Uranus
I was thinking more "anulist" in her, (and Fux's), case…
Analist made me laugh, along with "how hard" from the alt text; Christine and innuendo go so well together.
I wonder if anyone in Alaska will write in Dracula Cunt.
Probably not, but I'm sure there will be a lot of votes for Frankenstein.
Frankenstein lives (at least part time) in Wasilla and was created in a lab by Bill Krystol.
We could use a good mad scientist in the Senate; just think of the inhuman army he could create.
I hope not. Sarah Palin doesn't want to be a "centaur." She's still dreaming of the big prize… queen of US America.
O'Donnell's Masturbation Cream. Sounds like some old-timey thing DeMint and Lieberman used to use.
I hear Steve Doocy and Brian Kilmeade currently alternate as Fox's top analist.
Don't you mean bottom? Assuming I have my gay lingo correct here.
I think they switch. Sometimes Kilmeade's the top, sometimes it's Doocy, sometimes Wretched Carlson straps on her James O'Queef-approved dildo, lathers it up with O'Donnell's Masturbation Cream, and goes to town on both of them.
Mmm…sorry, with regards to Doocy I think I have to go with "power bottom."
O'Donnell's got two main voter blocks.
1) old church ladies who believe nice girls don't EVER
2) the Teabaggers who spank it to her picture.
O'Donnell will need to cast a spell to confuse voters into voting for her, but considering that Sabrina, Gandalf, Gargamel, Harry Potter (no spankee, no likey), Samantha and the three old hags from Macbeth have endorsed Coons she's a little short on the magical firepower.
Christine O'Donnell is an Oxford-certified analrapist.
Like we reported from Alaska last week, ol' Lisa walks into a a bar, restaurant, or hotel she's able to work it like she's at a small rural high school reunion. This is not surprising given there are only 3,217 registered voters in the state with the remainder being either underage (don't Tweet Mark Foley) or have outstanding arrest warrants in the other 49 states.
So, let me see if I've got this straight. Being Alaskan is like joining the French Foreign Legion? You commit some minor crimes in the lower 49, so you move there and grow a beard?
No, you move there and get a show on the Discovery Channel.
Pretty much. You "live off the grid" while your actual lifestyle is supported in part or entirely by people in the Lower 49 whom you are running from.
Teevee taught me that New Yorkers move to rural Alaska in return for the state paying for their medical school
And that's just the women.
Since the Dem apparently has no chance (that's right, America's Welfare state is solidly GOP) let's all root for Mrkwskiwsski for the big "FUCK YOU" it sends to Trig's mom.
Sad thing is, Dems might have had a shot, but everyone from the Juneau/Anchorage area didn't want to take on Murkaser3ersdfki. That's how the mayor of Sitka (who apparently is fluent enough in Norge to know when he's being cursed at by Sven the Fisherman) wound up running unopposed in the primary. And don't forget, the other Senate seat is held by a Dem (Begich) – even if it had to be gift wrapped by Ted Stevens' graft.
Another reason I'm glad I don't live in Alaska. I don't have to hold my nose and vote for some GOPer. The stink would never wash off of my hand after I finished penciling that in.
An Alaskan, voting Dem.
The notion that one rotted Republican is somehow better than another is so blatantly craven…or is there some other lame excuse for shooting yourself in the foot with self-fulfilling prophecies?
Suck it, Lisa!
Christine should go like totally goth to broaden her appeal.
Oh sweet baby jeebus, that's a thought that will haunt for the rest of the day.
About the AIG thing. When I borrow money, I have to pay it back on time according to a schedule set up by the institution loaning me the money. I don't get to swan around, pretending that I'm being forced to take the money. I don't get to decide to pay back half of it, then expect to be congratulated on the amazing feat.
Since she is Palin Lite (or 2.0, depending on whether you consider the crazy baggage "bugs" or "features"), Christine figured she'd just cut out the whole winning, neglecting and then ultimately quitting part of the saga and go straight for the wingnut payday.
I'm starting to suspect we could all make a lot of money from Rupert Murdoch & Co. by engaging in a performance art piece that would make Andy Kaufman embarrassed by its brazneness. Assuming we could keep a straight face about it.
Glenn Blech manages to keep a straight face.
My fursona lurvs your fursona.
Yay… I'm back…no thanks to intense debate…thanks a lot Wonkette overlords…piss and moan… I always wondered what happened to that insanely jealous Chevy once it was crunched…..
I'd rather judge Christine's jerks.
Castle's decision not to run may actually end up hurting Christine, as he, as a relatively sane and moderate Republican with bigger statewide name recognition, whose name isn't a racial slur, could have ended up splitting the sane vote with Coons.
George Will is busy hating all over Lisa Murkowski as well. This qualifies as a win-win, right?
Shorter George Will:
Democrats are bad. Evidence: Two Republicans left their party because it's been taken over by nutjobs. See, Democrats are bad.
"as he goes diarrhea in his adult diapers"
Borrowed from David Vitter? Unused one hopes.
Call me crazy, but I thought one wanted to keep preferred stock because it is "preferred" over common stock. We should make their greedy, reckless, incompetent asses pay the government millions per quarter in dividends until they can buy back all the preferred stock in one lump sum.
Needz moar cow skis.
Chris Cilizza is crying somewhere @ no write-in for Castle – probably in front of the video equipment in the WaPo basement. You've been warned.
Don't give up on Scott McAdams.
Unless you're a hand-wringing ninny, in which case you've already given up. Too bad being a nincompoop doesn't result in a nasty blistered, oozing rash on the face.
Joe Miller needs to stop keeping his moose antlers dry.
"O'D Lube" which will outsell KY jelly, it will be the new meme, "ouch, sweetie, pass the OD"….
Sprightly prose, Waggaperson!
The Ladye Christine now claims that someone forged her Oxford education by making a fake LinkedIn profile with that educational history on it. Funny, because before it was pulled down, she had 84 connections. I can't link to the Google cache, but it is lulzy.
Comments on this entry are closed.