Wow. Congressional-page connoisseur Mark Foley is on Twitter. Is he legally allowed to do that? Who knows, but it turns out Foley has been on Twitter since March. He only has 181 followers right now, despite being rather infamous. When he joined, did he have to alert his new Twitter neighbors he’s gotten in trouble with the law before for messaging underage boys on the Internet? That joke is actually a legitimate question, because Mark Foley is “following” a half-naked 15-year-old boy on Twitter right now. We are completely serious.
Leave this kid alone, gays. THAT MEANS YOU, FOLEY.
That’s funny, because Mark Foley LOVES the Jonases! Opposites do attract.
Oh look, another shirtless guy on Foley’s Twitter. Weird how they just pop up like that.
Life’s simple pleasure: staring at teenage boys fishing from a distance and taking photos of them, especially when one of them is shirtless. (This isn’t actually water they’re fishing in, it’s Mark Foley’s drool.)
Also a pleasure: gay bois in full metallic body paint paddling in your drool.
Hey hey! Almost like a real politician!
While you’re in a gay mecca like New York, you may as well spend a tremendous night with at least one aging gay pop star.
And now it’s time for a grand tour of pure Mark Foley pathos! This is his job now, we guess.
Here are the only friends he has left.
Ah, memories…
Oh, that wasn’t sad enough for you? Mark Foley also has a candle business to help make ends meet. We dare you to call him and have him make custom hand towels for you, sarcastic nymphs.
Jesus Christ this is just depressing.
And, finally, acknowledgement.
But don’t worry, pages. Mark Foley will be back in Congress very soon. [Twitter]
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I just woke up from a nap, but I would like to insert a joke about Mr. Foley and the Dicksy highway. Something about whistling dicksy perhaps?
WTF!!!!! im getting so many damn gay folowers. AHHH..
Dude, you're shirtless, pouty, stupid, and wearing fucking eyeliner. If Helen Keller were gay, she'd be following you.
Also, Foley's pooches are pretty cute. But that still doesn't mean I'd read any more of his twats.
I think he meant FTW, not WTF…
He also looks waxed and has both ears pierced. Why would gays think he plays for their team?
I think that translates to "WTF — my parents are following me too, assholes!"
Or "WTF — my parents are following my asshole!"
All Mark Foley's two pooches are missing is the cup.
If Helen Keller were gay, wouldn't she be following Janet Napolitano?
yeah, why is that kid getting followed by gay guys? guy guys don't usually go for sarcastic nymphs, I mean buff shirtless teens w/ earrings.
Geesh! Now I'm following the hunky teen…
I checked Mark Foley's followers and that "15-year-old boy" is one of them. He doesn't look like your typical teen from Bangalore, India (his supposed location). But who knows. We can all dream!. Another Foley follower is @BigSpankinDaddy. He says he is "Following and hoping to spank some of the worlds most spankable MEN."
I can't believe you went through @shark_slys's tweets and you didn't post the mother of them all:
@shark_slys well MY HAMSTER IS DEAD!!!! :*( :*( :*(
2:58 PM Aug 5th, 2009 via Echofon
This is probably the search term that got Mark there in the first place.
Poor thing, covered in doodoo feces inside its Habitrail tube. What an awful way to go.
R.I.P. "Augustus Poop"
Or Augustus Balls. Damn, I miss you, Inspector Clouseau!
Mark has "HAMSTER" on his ASS feed.
Why is this hamster wrapped in duct tape?
This must be the gayest Wonkette posting ever. Well done Jack. Well done.
I expect an equal amount of boobies to keep things balanced.
If you scroll through that post really quickly its like an alternate gay ending to 2001 Space Odyssey.
LOL
Does one have an avatar on Twitter? If so, Mark Foley's should be Pedobear, because of truth in advertising.
Nice to see he has developed new interests.
A matching lavender shirt, tie, and handkerchief is gay.
i'm sure he was just dressing for the concert–he probably wears full leathers down at bike week too…
I'm struck dumb by the pouty, shirtless, overly muscled 15 year old boy complaining about his gay followers.
You just know he's been desperately trying to friend Vladimir Putin
Oye dé la bienvenida atrás a mi amigo emplumado fino. (∞)
Ahora, hágame reírse.(∞)
je je je!
He’s baaaack. You just can’t keep a good man down.
I think it’s “you can’t keep a down-low man good”
Can Vitter win? Depends.
remember when he asked that little boy if he "spurted" into a towel? he was just doing market research!
He hasn't sunk low enough for me to be interested in him again. Someone should gift him a wet suit and some dildos.
Why is his avatar an egg? WHAT IS MARK FOLEY HIDING?
Something something Matt Drudge something.
I believe that's his smooth shaven, left nut.
I'm thinking a couple of leather-clad, ball-gagged sex slaves housed underneath his newly-purchased commercial center who send him naughty missives every other minute. The egg obviously represents the ball gags.
No mention of a Dancing With the Stars audition? That could be just the shot-in-the-arm his candle/ fancy hand towel business needs.
Should we all strip down and get relaxed now?
Bring on COCKTOBER.
So we've become the Thailand of the developed world. Ideally, the hidden hand of commerce would confine this to a common chat room but our social networking is now our destiny.
Besides being the world's granary we can provide it vapid addled celebutants and right-wing Oscar Wildes. Either that wallpaper goes or Charlie Crist does.
"hidden hand of commerce"
Needs more p-points.
Perhaps Mr. Foley can start a consultation business advising recently outed GOP members on enjoying their newfound gheyness? It seems like a growth market.
Pull it out. Measure it. How long is it?
What do you know — deep down, Mark Foley has the soul of a real estate agent.
Mark Foley will NOT be under-souled!
Win!
We here at Wonkette are 24 hour party people.
The bitch, the bitch, the bitch is back, stone cold outed as a matter of fact.
It seems to me he lives his life like a chandler in the wind…
My skin is crawling. Must exFoleyate.
Joe the Miller of Alaska outed as a formerly promiscuous virgin, too, and also: http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/politics/20…
(OK, former welfare slob, but same dif, since that's the main thing he's against.)
Miller and his teabagger butties, sorry, buddies, have no problem with government entitlements that benefit themselves. It is when those entitlements are going to someone else that they see creeping socialism.
Did he actually thank 30 Rock for a "shout out"? It was last week's episode when Jack Donaghy (Alec Baldwin) bragged to Liz that he is considered a catch in the gay community:
Jack: "Have you ever seen my eyes, Lemon?"
Liz: "Yep. They're very blue, like a Mykonos sky."
Jack: "Mark Foley once called them 'piercing.'"
Quite a shout-out.
"Good to see you, Mark…why don't you post a tweet over there?"
I wish we could comment . I go away for a day and now it' s become NRO's "The Corner" sister site.
You damn Monster Nymphs!
At this point, I figured this Foley guy would be spending all his spare time online looking at teen dick-pix over on Chatroulette.
Give him time if he just discovered Twitter in March it should take him another couple of months to find Chatroulette, then watch out.
Hoo boy. Just wait until Miss Mark finds cam4.
The sad thing about the UN picture is that he waited until after the event and then asked a friend to snap the picture quickly. Poor Foley.
EDITORIALIZE IN CAPS OR GTFO!
"He was tremendous tonight" – Well sure…with enough meth and viagra, anyone can be tremendous.
The highlight was Elton bringing him onstage to duet "Don't Let Your Son Go Down On Me."
I remember being 15 and having my congressman at the tip of my finger (literally, hahaha).
I was with a sarcastic nymph once. told her to just fake it at least.
Gay folowers brighten everyone's day. Gay tulips, happy carnations, merry gardenias for all.
I'm imagining Foley in his basement having make believe House committee hearings with his two dogs, Mr. Fritters and Tummysticks, wearing bow ties and a flag pin.
This would be an awesome social media strategy if you were running for the presidency of NAMBLA.
Great. Mark Foley bought a strip mall near my parents' house!
Does Foley realize that when you write things upon the Inter-tubes, it can actually be SEEN by other people?
When are we getting the Sarcastic Nymph t-shirts made?
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