why does christine o'donnell hate every U.S. President?

Oxford Wannabe Christine O’Donnell Opposed To ‘Yale Values,’ On Twitter

You know who ELSE went to Yale? Yes, John Kerry.While it’s true the Ivy League is nothing more than a sleepaway camp that churns out future war criminals, this is almost completely unrelated to the simple fact that Christine O’Donnell has absolutely no idea what she’s talking about in the above; she does not even have a vague, distant idea floating gracefully in a misty sea breeze. Oh and also, didn’t America’s 9/11 Hero President go to Yale, as well as his slightly more intelligent but not as heroic President-Dad?

Look at those hipster sweaters!To the far left is Christine O’Donnell’s Democratic opponent, Chris Coons. The other guy with the big head is Real American lumberjack Joe Miller, moments after receiving his B.A./birth certificate/whatever from Yale Law School.

So basically Chris Coons is too elitist to pretend to go to Oxford, and Christine O’Donnell will give you Liberty with her untouched, mint-condition vagina, the end. [Twitter]

About the author

Riley is an "internet blogger." He has written for such internet websites as True/Slant and the terrible Brangelina gossip emporium "The Huffington Post." Riley lives in northeast DC, near H Street. Maybe you do too and want to hang out?

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  • elpinche

    O'Donnell should veer from using the word sanity .

    • SilverFox

      Hey maybe the Tea Party is purely about fiscal issues after all. She is out of her friggin' mind.

    • http://www.wonkette.com Dr_pangloss

      Less veer more like bank sharply right, roll and do a flying leap.

  • davitydave

    Isn't Yale in America? Why does Christine O'Donnell hate America?

    • prommie

      The Northeast isn't "real" amurrica. Its where all those jews and pointy-headed atheist intellectuals and faggots live.

      • HELisforHEL

        And don't forget–we FemiNazis who actually have had…s-e-x (clutches pearls).

  • PsycWench

    As a child I was often told of the wonders of a good college education and now as an adult I learn that having a good education is a strike against you. If my parents had only told me, I could have spent all those years working up to a Ph.D. popping out babies and working part-time in Martha's Fish Camp instead.

    • forgracie

      Book lurnin" is bad. Ya just gotta go with yer gut: impervise. That's how we wind up with refudiate (and the Texas school system).

      • HELisforHEL

        And the war in EyeRack fightin' for are freedums.

    • hooray4anything

      It is a good thing to have in life except for if you wanted to get into politics which seems to be one of the only few professions in which being dumb and uneducated is a good thing.

    • zhubajie

      My folks tried to persuade me not to be too smart, but instead to pretend to be retarded. I didn't understand them at the time, but maybe they were hinting at a career in politics instead of academe.

  • Oblios_Cap

    So she likes locks better than shoes?

  • TheInternet

    Christine wants to promote "liberty," fiscal sanity, and limited government.

    Yale tuition is insane. The school has also produced more than its share of people that have run the various branches of government.

    So that's two out of the three….as far as liberty goes…hmm…well, let's say Yale encourages bondage and horse-whipping.

    So there you go. She knows what she's talking about after all.

  • Tommmcatt

    There's a vagina mint? So THAT'S where they come from! It's on the UCLA Campus, right?

  • crapshooter102

    No you nitwits she attended a better school, Oxford/Phoenix/Claremont on-line U. Yale is sooo Passe`. Now those values will get her a free rack of balls at the local Billiard parlor,or something.

  • SexySmurf

    George W. was a member of Skull and Bones, which means at some point he had to sit in a coffin and masturbate (think about that for a while). Christine is just saying she's against masturbating in a coffin.

    • comrad_darkness

      Was it a used coffin?

      Used for something other than masturbating, I mean.

  • http://www.wonkette.com ChurchofRealism

    What's a mint-condition vagina going for these days?

    • problemwithcaring

      Well, it's probably Franklin Mint since it's always being hocked on Fox News. So my guess is about $49.99.

    • Steverino247

      Twenty bucks, same as Downtown.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Depends on whether it's still in the original box.

      • jus_wonderin

        Are we talking unopened or regifted?

      • JMPEsq

        Has the vagina been properly sealed so that we can be sure it'll stay in mint condition?

    • Neoyorquino

      Mint-condition, or mint-flavored?

      • pourly_drafted

        Do they come in cinnamon flavor, too?

    • seppdecker

      Considering how many fanboys have seen a real vagina, I'd say demand is pretty high.

      • zhubajie

        Be careful you don't get a fake!

  • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    Oh Xtine. Now swinging wildly when you got caught with your fake (made in China!) Oxford dildo in your vajayjay.

    • elpinche

      hahaha 'Xtine'

  • PocketsTheClown

    Sarah Palin found a ghostwriting gig. Good for her.

  • savethispatient

    Ah yes, when revolutions happen, it is the intellectuals who are attacked first. Once they're gone, the general populace will fall in line. All hail Queen O'Donnell!

    • mavenmaven

      I remember as a kid reading in Newsweek how the Pol Pot regime came after the educated people first, with all the medical doctors hiding out as peasants to avoid extermination. I guess Tea = Pot as in Pol Pot?

      • HELisforHEL

        I think you're on to something.

      • glamourdammerung

        Well, both groups also dug waterboarding.

  • Urban_Achiever

    Well, I would argue that she should bring some of her Fairleigh Dickinson values to Senate, except that said values would consist largely of her "not paying for things"

  • Terry

    I think her twitter name needs another D at the end of it.

    • http://www.wonkette.com/ FlownOver

      Nah – OD is just right. I'm guessing (per Dr. Thompson) she OD'ed on extract of pineal gland.

  • Serolf_Divad

    I almost want O'Donnel to win because… well… no, actually scratch that.

    • TooncesDied

      Yeah, it would almost be fun to watch her as a daily train wreck… But too dangerous. Too bad she's not running for the house seat.

  • http://livebythefoma.blogspot.com Pop_Socket

    As the photo suggests, we could have used a lot fewer Yale values ten years ago.

  • bigdupa

    Her strategy is going to work. She'll keep the electorate staring at her dumb statements and she'll lull them into voting for her. Ever been to Delaware? It makes Maryland seem cosmopolitan.

  • SayItWithWookies

    So going to college is bad, but lying about going to a college you would disdain if someone else went to it is good. Damn, this business of being an anti-elitist social climber is complicated — but if anyone can handle it, it's a creationist witchcraft-dabbling promiscuous non-masturbator.

  • chascates

    Real Amuricans go to the Chuck Norris Technical Institute.

  • CablinasianDem

    Complaining about Yale while lying about going to Oxford is like complaining about JDate while filling out a match.com profile.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    She just prefers Schlage®-brand chastity belts to the inferior Yale® brand.

    The Penis-Fear is strong in this one.

  • hooray4anything

    You actually have to admire the chutzpah of somebody who attacks their opponent for going to a good college when you lied about attending some of the colleges you said you attended and was sued by the one university you did attend.

    • http://wonkette.com/ outragedcitizen

      Yep, the lady has trucknutz. But she is really fucking stupid.

  • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

    She don't want no Bulldog in her britches.

  • el_donaldo

    I think one of Coons's degrees is from Yale Divinity School. Why does O'Donnell's witch-god hate liberal Jesus?

  • Lucidamente1

    Bonus points: remember when Poppy Bush said in the '88 campaign that Dukakis's ideas on foreign policy had come from the "boutique of Harvard Yard?" boolah, boolah.

    Poor Christine–she can't even get Lee Atwater's smears right.

  • Steverino247

    You know, most places I'd post this comment, I'd be pilloried, but here? Well, let's see! Here goes:

    This girl badly needs to get laid.

    • Monsieur_Grumpe

      I've said this before and I'll say it again…

      Strap a 2 by 4 across my ass boys, I'm going in.

      Onward Christian Solders! Everybody sing!

    • hooray4anything

      I've been trying but she won't respond to my EHarmony emails.

      But, yes, I think she's definitely crying out for some Marvin Gaye/Chef from South Park type to make sweet, sweet, love to her. Which could explain why she won't return my emails.

  • edgydrifter

    I'd crack wise about O'Donnell hating America's best and brightest, but given the recent slate of Yalies inflicted upon America maybe she has a point.

    On a side note, mint vagina would be AWESOME.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Shouldn't be too difficult, with a quick pass through the produce section and a willing partner. Just don't get the thistle-y kind.

    • PsycWench

      You'd never need to worry about not feeling "fresh", for one thing.

  • JMPEsq

    You're missing the big story here; O'Donnell says she now supports liberty and limited government, which means she must have reversed herself on outlawing abortion, sex except for marrieds and masturbation.

  • Eve8Apples

    Real 'merkins don't need no fancy book lurnin'. All we needs is guns, bullets, Viagra, beer, bibles, flags and our freedums.

    • DonnyKerabotsos

      and a jar of condoms…

    • pourly_drafted

      and a mint vagina

    • zhubajie

      Some band-aids for when they shoot themselves by mistake?

  • WarAndGee

    Here's a TWEET: "Somewhere on the ballot in Delaware, limited intelligence inside an insane head desires liberty from being shoved up its butt."

  • grendelg

    "Mint Condition Vagina" would be a good name for a band

    • Monsieur_Grumpe

      There was an all girl punk band in Minnesota for while that was named The Clams. They rocked.

  • cymchikster

    My parents are Fundamentalist Christian Tea-Baggites. They're most comfortable when Christine, Sarah, Rush and Sean point out which people have a BRAIN in their head so they know who to avoid. Just hearing the word "Elite" makes them grab their walkers and head for the basement.

    • 4tehlulz_lite

      Not before they grab their Social Security checks, though.

      • cymchikster

        True that, 4.

  • http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=351473119155 Fred_Wertham_Jr

    Surely there is a job out there for someone who can withstand this level of self-inflicted humiliation. Don't carnivals still have geeks?

    • zhubajie

      'Fraid not. The closest thing is short wave radio broadcasting out of the USA. Or politics, nowadays.

  • http://johnnyzhivago.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    Christine's academic career makes Sarah Palin look like some kind of elitist.

  • Fox n Fiends

    Funny how her agenda is Randian double-speak. she must have read Shrugged at Oxford (Mississippi?)

  • Gopherit

    Wait, isn't Fairleigh Dickinson University just about the shittiest Ivy League school there is? Someone sounds jealous.

    • JoeMamased

      Shittiest Ivy? FDU ain't no kinda Ivy, and is widely known as "Fairly Ridiculous." And yes, I went there, too, also.

  • Radiotherapy

    Why didn't she call it the Poison Ivy League? Then we would all have an itch we need to scratch…Oh, wait… everybody just masturbate while we can.

  • jus_wonderin

    I am tired of these blabbermoufs. They make me want to whip out my man-tool and beat them around the mouth area.

  • Redhead

    So if someone pretends to go to a furrin skool like Oxford, does that make the person a furriner, or a furriner sympathizer, of a fake furriner?

  • reliefsinn

    "Mint condition vagina" does Ben & Jerry's know about this?

    • DashboardBuddha

      That would be an awesome B&J flavor…but what would it taste like?!

  • ttommyunger

    Palin, O'Donnell, Bachmann, Angle, Coulter, Malkin, Ingraham…What is going on here? Is this some kind of crazy right-wing Twat-Off to see who can be the most out of touch hysterical biatch in the fucking Country? I AM depressed.

  • HistoriCat

    So you're contending that the Senate doesn't value nepotism, cronyism, racism,false populism and elitism?

  • fuflans

    we really really can't have nice things, can we?

  • Jerri

    God I love when people who hate government want to get into government to limit government. How's about this: If you're elected, you'll prove how much you'll limit government by resigning immediately. Come on. SHOW US YOU MEAN IT CHRISTINE. TAKE THE PLEDGE.

  • Guppy06

    Liberty, limited government, fiscal sanity: pick any two.

  • awesome_dude

    I can imagine douching around about your opponent's ivy league education if you're running for, I don't know, mayor of Wasilla, but Delaware? Toothless inbred government-dependent illiterates don't really strike me as a massive voting segment of the "X, a Delaware Corporation" state.

    • JoeMamased

      Well, the vast majority of the population is poultry.

  • babsinbuffalo

    Didn't Coons go to Yale Divinity School? Wonder what his fancy pants "Yale ethics" taught him about bloody satanic hoochy coo on church alters????

  • tomdarling

    George H.W. Bush was not "less heroic" than W. (unless we are talking about the image puffed up after 9/11). Poppy put off Yale and joined the Army to fight in WWII, flew fighter planes in the Pacific and was shot down. After help win the war, he returned to Yale. W., on the other hand, defended Texas from the Vietnamese a few weekends a month. The difference is that H.W. was a bit modest (no flight suit).

  • sezme

    You, sir, have the boorish manners of a Yalie!