YEAH JIM'S NOT FEELING THIS BILL SO YEAH  2:54 pm September 28, 2010

Jim DeMint E-mails Senate Staffs To Let Them Know He Runs Country Now

by Jack Stuef

Here are Jim DeMint and his legislative staff, your new overlords.All legislation must now be cleared with America’s Dad Jim DeMint first or else he will shut down the Senate, according to an e-mail sent to Senate chiefs of staff today. And so we have another example of Jim DeMint trying to out-Republican everyone else, this time in terms of obstructing bills. Senate rules were specifically written by our founding fathers so that Jim DeMint could stop each and every bill that comes before the legislative body, and their disintegrating patriot skulls must be smiling in their graves right now, because their oracle has at last come true: Our country is now run through Jim DeMint.

As of last August, 372 bills had passed the House, many of them unanimously, but have yet to receive a vote in the Senate. At 60 hours per bill, it would require over two and a half years to vote on these bills, and that’s assuming the Senate works around the clock and on weekdays, weekends and holidays. In other words, there is simply not enough time to get more than a fraction of the Senate’s business done if a minority is determined to do everything they can to block progress.

Oh, that Think Progress. Always thinking about progress.

But this is not some simple power grab by Jim DeMint. It’s actually a call for inaction. Clearly DeMint is trying to snag some of those voters who only vote for candidates who believe in the virtues of inaction, all of whom were previously going to touch-screen their ballots for his opponent Alvin Greene. [Think Progress]

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Krugmanic Depressive September 28, 2010 at 2:57 pm

Jim DeMint and his master race of highly gifted toddlers…

Doglessliberal September 28, 2010 at 3:00 pm

Toddlers accomplish something.

Doglessliberal September 28, 2010 at 3:04 pm

Toddlers get something accomplished.

Terry September 28, 2010 at 3:05 pm
Doglessliberal September 28, 2010 at 3:07 pm

Love it!

Monsieur_Grumpe September 28, 2010 at 3:23 pm

I am constantly reminded to quit putting off that vasectomy.

kindness99 September 29, 2010 at 4:21 pm

You mean grifted toddlers, dotn't you?

natoslug September 28, 2010 at 2:59 pm

Obviously I missed my calling. I am a master at not getting shit done.

Clancy_Pants September 28, 2010 at 2:59 pm

Does the kid with the red shirt have his left hand in Jim's pants?

MARCdMan September 28, 2010 at 3:11 pm

That's the hold he's talking about.

ManchuCandidate September 28, 2010 at 3:00 pm

It's almost as if one gets the idea that SC GOPers are retards or something.

FearofaBlackReagan September 28, 2010 at 9:55 pm

I dunno about retards, but now that Mark Sanford's gone, Jimmy Demint seems to be the only one who's not a screaming closet case.

Monsieur_Grumpe September 28, 2010 at 3:00 pm

Hmmmm. I think I see the problem with our legislative system. It starts with J and ends with mint.

SexySmurf September 28, 2010 at 3:04 pm

Junior Mints?

Doglessliberal September 28, 2010 at 3:19 pm

If Junior Mints, Alvin Greene, and Jim DeMint were on the ballot, I would be leaning towards #1.

weejee September 28, 2010 at 3:54 pm

Since it's 'Murican football season maybe we should be having creamed DeMints. Hutt, hutt, headbutt.

BrentKockman September 28, 2010 at 3:01 pm

can't wait for the big Jim Demint v. Christine O'Donnell showdown.

"The one with the teabags to vanquish the Demint-Lord approaches……The Demint-lord will mark her as his colleague, but she will have teabagger crazy that the Demint-Lord knows not. either must die at the hand of the other, for neither can live while the other survives"

LionelHutzEsq September 28, 2010 at 3:02 pm

If only someone had thought of making it impossible for the Senate to act before we entered into a war for no reason, or plunged our economy down a cliff during Bush's Presidency. Where was the leadership then?

arclight2012 September 28, 2010 at 3:19 pm

OH, you mean back when a slim majority was able to muscle everything they wanted through and we couldn't stop them because we're a bunch of mamby pambies? Yes? Okay. Just checking.

Ducksworthy September 28, 2010 at 4:24 pm

Thank god the Amerikkkun people are addicted to Rohypnol so they can't remember being raped.

slappypaddy September 28, 2010 at 3:02 pm

we could not have been taken hostage by nicer people.

Doglessliberal September 28, 2010 at 3:02 pm

OK, I just posted something and it disappeared. Am I banned?

Grief_Lessons September 28, 2010 at 3:04 pm

Same thing happened to me this morning. Gremlins, presumably.

whiskeybaby September 28, 2010 at 3:03 pm

What I've learned from this is that politicians should never pose with cute pre-pubescent boys. Especially politicians like Jim of the Mint.

elviouslyqueer September 28, 2010 at 3:08 pm

All hail PedoMint!

Gopherit September 28, 2010 at 3:11 pm

that's no im-pedomint to getting the SC republican vote.

Extemporanus September 28, 2010 at 3:15 pm


CapnFatback September 28, 2010 at 3:52 pm

"Hiya, son. Wanna meet Lil' Jimmy DeSpearmint?"

MildMidwesterner September 28, 2010 at 3:04 pm

Where does the 60 hour figure come from? At one minute per bill, the Senate's work could be completed in less than one full work day (or two union days).

imissopus September 28, 2010 at 3:08 pm

That probably includes the amount of time allowed for debate on the floor, which I think is allowed both before and after the cloture vote.

V572625694 September 28, 2010 at 3:34 pm

Yeah, "debate." Which means successive doses of blather, with insanely stupid visual aids, to C-SPAN for the morans back home. The US Senate (meets Wednesays, 11:00 AM-8:00PM) is truly the World's Greatest Deliberative Body, except for Our Wonkette Overlords.

imissopus September 28, 2010 at 4:26 pm

Hey, I didn't say it would be a constructive sixty hours.

Rambone September 28, 2010 at 3:07 pm

Imagine that, the Senate might fuck up everything . . .

chascates September 28, 2010 at 3:09 pm

No doubt he'll lead the call to avoid a lame duck session as well. I read that on one occasion the College of Cardinals were taking too long to elect a new Pope. The Church hierarchy removed the roof of their building, this during the coldest weather. A new Pope was quickly found.

SayItWithWookies September 28, 2010 at 3:09 pm

It's Jim DeMint's mission to stop Congress before they refute his thesis that government can't do anything. And why Republicans continue to run on that platform (if they really believed it, why did they run for public office?) is a mystery. And why people elected them is an even greater mystery.
On the other hand — thank you Senator Fuckhead, for showing us why you don't deserve the keys back.

GOPCrusher September 28, 2010 at 3:42 pm

Polls show that the public are frustrated by Congress's inability to get anything done, and Jim DeMint is out to prove them right.

Barrelhse September 28, 2010 at 5:53 pm

"Refudiate" is the word you're looking for. Talk American, Wookster!

Mumbletypeg September 28, 2010 at 3:10 pm

Preserving our bumpy roadtrip to nowhere: Bunning/ DeMint 2012!!

Troubledog September 28, 2010 at 3:10 pm

You and whose Armey?

SecretMuslin September 28, 2010 at 3:11 pm

Meh – this asshat doesn't stand a chance against Alvin Greene in November. Out with all incumbents, amirite?

imissopus September 28, 2010 at 3:12 pm

Yet one more reason for my liberal brethren to put on their big-boy pants and go out and fucking vote in a few weeks. Because throwing a hissy about the party not being liberal enough will be counterproductive. Voting happens every two years. Fighting for your beliefs is a 24/7/365 proposition, and it will never end as long as the likes of Jim DeMint live in this country, let alone keep running for office.


V572625694 September 28, 2010 at 3:36 pm

Especially her in Colly-Fornya, where a "permanent absentee voter" such as myself can have the ballot mailed to the office, vote on it, run it through the postage meter, and put it in the outbox, all without walking more than about 30 feet. Democracy is great!

JMPEsq September 28, 2010 at 3:45 pm

Mail-ed? Post-age? What are these things, old-timer?

V572625694 September 28, 2010 at 4:04 pm

Christ, we're lucky to be only this far behind the times. Email voting won't happen before I punch out.

Guppy06 September 28, 2010 at 5:22 pm

Stealing from the office postage meter is timeless.

Extemporanus September 28, 2010 at 3:13 pm

"Show me on the doll where DeMint got fresh with you."

SayItWithWookies September 28, 2010 at 4:02 pm

Was he curiously strong? Or strongly curious?

Barrelhse September 28, 2010 at 5:54 pm

Are we implicating freakishlystrong?

Extemporanus September 28, 2010 at 6:13 pm

Speaking of tin-full acts, have you ever been genitally blessed by someone with an untransubstantiated Altoid or two on their tongue?

"Thy kingdom come," indeed…

Monsieur_Grumpe September 28, 2010 at 3:13 pm

Mrs. Powel of Philadelphia asked Benjamin Franklin,
"Well, Doctor, what have we got, a republic or a monarchy?"
With no hesitation whatsoever, Franklin responded,
"A republic, if you can keep it."

This of course was Pre-DeMint.

Gopherit September 28, 2010 at 3:13 pm

Maybe the republicans think he can get away with this shit because he has the safest seat in the upcoming election? You know, Alvin Greene my be unqualified and insane, but….

Let's go Senator Greene!

MISTAHCOUGHDROP September 28, 2010 at 3:22 pm

How about Greene and Odonnel do a boxing match at Oxford? On the lawn? I'd watch.

MISTAHCOUGHDROP September 28, 2010 at 3:21 pm

Is it fair to say Jim is deminted?

But wait, what if he does become America's dad? Will he give us each 25¢ a week allowance to buy candy? Such is the paternal qualities of the next great American dad.

V572625694 September 28, 2010 at 3:37 pm

You do see that your blogwhoring has given you the Negative P-Score of Scarlet Shame, don't you?

MISTAHCOUGHDROP September 28, 2010 at 4:03 pm

Yes, I did… didn't quite understand this, but hey, no more blogwhoring for me. Thanks for pointing out my scarletness.

el_donaldo September 28, 2010 at 3:24 pm

Perhaps he confuses "wu wei," or "not acting," the fundamental Daoist ethic, as many do, with "inaction." But "wu wei" means to do, but effortlessly, as part of the processes of nature, with the same selflessness. Ask yourself, does the following describe DeMint or Alvin Greene? Who is the true Sage?

Teaching without verbosity,
producing without possessing,
creating without regard to result,
claiming nothing,
the Sage has nothing to lose.

Ducksworthy September 28, 2010 at 4:35 pm

I may mistaken but I suspect this is the only political blog where the Tao Te Ching is a regular topic of discussion.

freakishlywrong September 28, 2010 at 3:26 pm

Well, how brave of President DeMint, (how GAY is that name?), to take a vow to continue to do nothing.

nounverb911 September 28, 2010 at 3:34 pm

I can't wait for DeMint/Graham 2012 running on the Teabagging ticket. They're made for each other.

johnnyzhivago September 28, 2010 at 3:35 pm

A vow of political chastity.

Troubledog September 28, 2010 at 3:29 pm

Also, isn't DeMint part of the Tea Party's nemesis, De Federal Reserve?

doxastic September 28, 2010 at 3:33 pm

Jim DeMint is hard at work inventing new and innovative ways to say "Fuck you, I've got mine"

Amo_of_Bogio September 28, 2010 at 6:01 pm

I thought "Fuck you, I've got mine" or its corollary "I've got mine, fuck you" – is the motto of America. That's the translation of E plurubis unum" isn't it?

johnnyzhivago September 28, 2010 at 3:34 pm

Interesting: DeMint (green) vs. Greene

This could get VERY CONFUSING for South Carolina voters…

Thought… "Vote for the Real Greene, not the feminine, gayish green"

x111e7thst September 28, 2010 at 3:34 pm


Barrelhse September 28, 2010 at 5:55 pm

Nu bi.

gurukalehuru September 28, 2010 at 3:37 pm

Get well soon, Jimmy! ( I refer to Carter, not DeMint)

I'm glad he got his book finished, though

arclight2012 September 28, 2010 at 3:37 pm

This is why Alvin Greene is on the scene!

badseeds September 28, 2010 at 3:55 pm

World's Great Deliberative Body, or World's Greatest Deliberative Body?

Guppy06 September 28, 2010 at 5:24 pm

World's Greatest Debilitating Body

Gorilllionaire September 28, 2010 at 3:56 pm

Let's see him try to stop that Corn Biscuit bill, I fucking dare him.

Tundra Grifter September 28, 2010 at 3:57 pm

Wonkette is back! With photos and everthing!

Did you fire that web designer who did such a great job on CraigsList?

YEH! WoW! Sweet!

Fred_Wertham_Jr September 28, 2010 at 4:11 pm

Alvin Greene. Now more than ever.

4tehlulz_lite September 28, 2010 at 4:15 pm

Oh look, South Carolina is destroying the country again.

Not_So_Much September 28, 2010 at 5:37 pm

Let's let them fly their stupid confederate flag and just gtfo already. The guy that got busted for repeatedly raping a horse in SC is clearly the deepest thinker in the state…

ttommyunger September 28, 2010 at 4:16 pm

Gridlock in the Senate! Hmmmm…Not a bad idea.

bumfug September 28, 2010 at 4:17 pm

I just can't think of anything to say that doesn't include words and phrases that would make red flags go off in Secret Service / Homeland Security computers.

notreelyhelping September 28, 2010 at 4:18 pm

Methinks steam arises from Mitch McConnell's wee turtle ears.

hooray4anything September 28, 2010 at 4:26 pm

This wouldn't happen if Obama were more bipartisan.

Ducksworthy September 28, 2010 at 4:29 pm

It may be time to let Harry Tuttle back in here for a little bit. I have never seen the wonketteoshphere as stirred up as it was with him/it. Also, I wanted to ask him to explain what he thought the 18th century language he pasted up means in modern teabaggerish. I suspect it is not what we were taught it meant in civics class.

JMPEsq September 28, 2010 at 4:40 pm

If asked, he would calmly explain "It means liberals suck, fuckers!"

Lucidamente1 September 28, 2010 at 4:30 pm

"But this is not some simple power grab by Jim DeMint." No, but that photo with the two pre-pubescent boys is some kind of grab.

loquacioustunes September 28, 2010 at 8:19 pm

"Hey, boys, can't you hear my heart beat / For the very first time?"

Jukesgrrl September 28, 2010 at 4:40 pm

DeMint must be reading an Alexander Haig biography. But instead of mimicking Haig's, "I'm in control here" behavior, he decided to update it as, "I'm in control to not do anything."

For all you young 'uns, Haig was the pompous dickwad of the Reagan Administration who declared himself "vicar of foreign policy" when being called Secretary of State didn't sound classy enough. He announced to the press he was "in control" of the country when Reagan was silly enough to get shot without announcing in advance that Vice President Poppy Bush should act in his behalf if he was unconscious (or shall we say more unconscious than we now know he was for most of those interminable eight years).

Long live our minty-fresh Control Freak of the Week!

Billmatic September 28, 2010 at 5:04 pm

I thought for a minute you were talking about Field Marshal Haig.

All I remember of him was his brilliant strategy to go "over the top."

thx11380 September 28, 2010 at 5:03 pm

I wonder what karma has in store for Mister DeMint. It won't be pretty.

Barrelhse September 28, 2010 at 5:03 pm

Jesus he's creepy. And what's he hiding in that fuckin' snot-locker?

Rotundo_ September 28, 2010 at 5:24 pm

So anything Congress manages to do in spite of DeMint's tantrums will be congress-tested, asshole approved.

thefrontpage September 28, 2010 at 6:26 pm

Was that picture taken at the Tuesday Night C Street House Late-Night Secret Club Meeting?

yellowerdog September 28, 2010 at 6:41 pm

DeMint's vote on Secy Clinton's appointment showed his colors. Because State is such an important post, the nomination and confirmation vote were taken in the lame duck session. Accordingly, not voting were the seats of Hillary Clinton, of President-Elect, VP-Elect, and the undecided (Franken) seat. Confirmation vote was thus 94-2, DeMint and the pride of Texas were the 2. Nothing new in his unreconstructed confererate fuckweed approach since the election.

rocktonsam September 28, 2010 at 7:53 pm

doesn't Lindsay call Jim , "cream de mint?"

loquacioustunes September 28, 2010 at 8:08 pm

Right after this photograph was taken, Jim DeMint scoop slammed the boy on the left and then ran off, giggling, into the sunset.

anteater September 28, 2010 at 8:12 pm

This low-rent cocksucker with his stupid "I will oppose anything that Muslin wants" ideology has got me all het up.

Uh, young lady? Make it a double please.

Dr_pangloss September 28, 2010 at 9:18 pm

DeMint in charge of the government? Whew what could possiblie go wrong?

lulzmonger September 29, 2010 at 4:07 am

Gosh, since ANY accomplishment whatsoever coming from a Dem Congress will automatically make the shiftless pack of hyenas that are the GOP look bad, I wonder what PedoMint will approve?

The Do-Nothing Party: hey, at least they're going with what they're good at!

xzargo September 29, 2010 at 8:38 am

Hey Little Boys, I have some delicious candy but it's HIDDEN in my secret POCKET!

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