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Ken Layne is so happy these two people are losing their midterm election and he will never have to look at a fat person again.If those previous Christine O’Donnell revelations didn’t lock up these midterms for the Democratic Party, surely this will: Her LinkedIn profile is incorrect! She didn’t go to the University of Oxford, even though she said she did! Hooray, all is saved! Democrats will have a full 80 seats in the next Senate! Ignorance is out, smart people are here! No ridiculous ideologues will ever step foot in Congress again! And there will be a reverent ferocity of masturbation from Senate office to Senate office, from House seat to House seat, from on top of Robert Byrd’s coffin to inside Ted Kennedy’s coffin, and all across this great land. Finally, we can take solace in knowing Christine O’Donnell will not be elected.

O’Donnell’s LinkedIn bio page lists “University of Oxford” as one of the schools she attended, claiming she studied “Post Modernism in the New Millennium.” But it turns out that was just a course conducted by an institution known as the Phoenix Institute, which merely rented space at Oxford.

How did she get the time and money to fuck off to England and take this stupid class? Who knows?!

These things just happen in our new, POST MODERN millennium. And so third-party candidate “A Feeling of Angst” will defeat Harry Reid and Sharron Angle in Nevada, but that won’t stop Democrats from taking back Congress from whom it was already taken. [Plum Line]

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  • Buzz Feedback

    “Post Modernism in the New Millennium” = "Earth's second 6,000 Years"

  • metamarcisf

    Gotta hand it to the Phoenix Institute. Heck of a football team this season.

  • Lucidamente1

    That would be the University of Oxford, Arkansas (go fighting inbreeders!)

    • V572625694

      Or Mississippi. That's where Ole Miss is.

      • Lucidamente1

        Yeah, but that's a real school.

      • PresBeeblebrox

        Or Miami of Ohio, which is in Oxford, Ohio. Oh, wait – that's a real skool too.

        Every day the O'Donnell-related lulz continue. However, I am still scared shitless that the rednecks in southern Delaware will get her elected.

  • Cake_or_Death

    At least the Phoenix Institute sounds like it is from Arizona, not Mexico. That should count, right?

    • Katydid

      We're out of cake, we didn't know there'd be such a rush.

  • natoslug

    For someone so anti-masturbatory, she certainly spends a lot of time screwing herself. Is it really that hard not to lie about easily-verified things? It's like facts no longer matter (a subject the king of France and I were just discussing last night, on board my 600 foot space yacht).

    • MrsBiggTime

      "For someone so anti-masturbatory, she certainly spends a lot of time screwing herself."
      Best lead-in, ever. Give yourself a hand!

      • natoslug

        Now your just stroking my ego.

        • MrsBiggTime

          Yes, your ego… your big, throbbing ego… Oh god yes! That was good. NI'll fetch you a paper towel big fella.

    • JMPEsq

      Luckily for Christine, it's pretty much impossible to prove whether or not someone masturbates without violating anti-stalking laws.

  • chascates

    Christine O'Donnell’s Education
    Fairleigh Dickinson University
    1989 — 1993

    Claremont Graduate University
    Constitutional Government

    University of Oxford
    “Post Modernism in the New Millennium”

    Those last 2 could have been lectures she slept through. Padding one's resume thus is pretty masturbatory.

    • It's the only kind of masturbation she can handle. That and a jackhammer going at 400K pulses a minute.

    • So this is all about semiotics?

    • CapnFatback

      Where's the entry for the successful completion of the Tea Party Coloring Book?

    • MagicCookie

      So basically she just took this online class while waiting until the kids got home from school when she could have surfed over to ideepthroat.com like every other stay at home mom and dad. Poseur.

    • mookwrthwilson

      We used to call the first one Fairleigh Ridiculous…at least for undergrads it's where you spend too much money for a private school education because you couldn't get into one of NJ's better public schools.

  • Crank_Tango

    Wow. I will go right back to jerking off, as scheduled.

    Also check out my blog and vote for me at somethingsomething.com.

    • V572625694

      One blogwhore event per poster per, uh, millenium seems fair.

  • With her knowledge of Witchcraft and masturbation, I'm surprised Xtine didn't say she went to:
    Hogwarts
    University of Onan.

    • Extemporanus

      If I were drunk, and this story had legs, I would Photoshop a kick-ass Christine O'Donnell and the Order of the Phoenix Institute book cover, but I'm not, and it doesn't, so I won't.

    • dittoBot3000

      I'm a U of O graduate '02, magna cum laude. Did my thesis on "The Stranger Technique: Analysis of Risk Mitigation and Mess Avoidance".

    • BornInATrailer

      What's up with the extra 't'….? Or is that just an extra cross?

    • HistoriCat

      I prefer my political leaders to have attended Miskatonic U.

    • FlyOverGirl

      Xtine is more of a Beauxbatons girl.

  • facehead

    I won't believe it til Sara Benincasa dresses up like O' Donnell and tells me so herself!

    • Seconded. Sara, we are waiting.

      • bagofmice

        Thirded. I wonder how deep the reply system can go before running into that harsh right margin…

  • slappypaddy

    there is always room in the united states senate for another lying sack of shit. miss revirgin doesn't have the game down yet, but she's almost there.

    i wonder how she feels about the global economy's lack of infellatio.

  • Not only was it a "Phoenix Institute" course at Oxford but she took the fucker online.

  • Not_So_Much

    So she's even less "elite" than previously thought and her demonstrable, never-ending stupidity means she wins in a landslide.

    Meat on a stick and Hoverounds for all her constituents!! Yay?

  • SecretMuslin

    I would love to hear her try to define post-modernism. Or millennium.

    • "Its like, what comes after modernism? And everyone knows Millennium is that show from Fox in the 90s with the guy from that Alien movie."

      xoxo – Christine

    • slappypaddy

      i'd buy tickets to the show.

    • problemwithcaring

      Or "fiscal sanity."

  • Serolf_Divad

    Hey, if being able to see Siberia from your porch (on a clear day) makes you an expert in US-Soviet relations, then I don't see why attending a couple of lectures in classroom space rented from Oxford wouldn't make you a Rhodes fucking scholar.

  • jetjaguar

    She went to Oxford in the same way I went to the University of Margaritaville.

    • johnnymeatworth

      So you didn't take classes, you were just searching for your lost shaker of salt?

      • jetjaguar

        Yeah, and I learned how to throw the bones.

  • Lucidamente1

    And then at her first tutorial with Isaiah Berlin she said, "who whacks off more, the hedgehog or the fox?"

    • Tim

      I'm waiting for her explanation of positive masturbation vs. negative masturbation.

      • Lucidamente1

        "Here, Christine, let me show you my crooked timber of humanity."

  • Hey folks, be nice to me! I never gave a negative rating in my entire life! I'm a left-leaning starving artist for gosh sakes.

    • natoslug

      You're getting pushier than Joe Biden, dammit! I gave you your 5 stars, now quit demanding things from me. Pressing buttons and clicking links all day is tough work — I'm exhausted.

      • Thanks natoslug, actually I just woke up from a nap. And I'm going to grab a cold Stella.

    • x111e7thst

      So did I. Which means you owe me buttsecks, or trucknutz. At the very least you must either go away or stop whoring.

      • I'm a little dizzy from this new Wonky system. OK, no more whoring from MISTAHCOUGHDROP. ON with the post modern witch burning!

    • SheriffRoscoe

      All that red, exclamation marky (!) negative stuff is sorta cool. Real badge of honor shit, right there.

    • Did I say left? No way, I'm a red state red meat (raw) eatin' redneck rowdy. Even missing my two front teef.

      • smokefilledroommate

        "Hi, I'm a repulsive hipster. Can you help me with [whatever]?"

      • mumbly_joe

        Is being a "hipstervative" really any better?

        Ugh. Using that word just made me violently ill.

    • Bluestatelibel

      The way your negative pee rating is displayed is so alarming…looks like something bad will happen to you any minute…maybe Obamur will kick you off the interents forever or something. Take care.

      • Actually, someone from Wonkette just knocked on my door here in France and told me to cut the krap, get back to the business of America. "ÇA SUFFIT!" he said. Oy!

    • Extemporanus

      I have nothin' but love for left-leaning starving artists, and especially those who display a talent (sickness?) for creating compelling obsessive compulsive collages and art hacks, which you often do. I even wrote a few words about you once a few years ago, when doing that sorta thing was my dumb job.

      That said, ya gotta pick the right venue to pass the hat, mon ami. I'd suggest not advertising the fact that you're competing in a contest to serve as window dressing for an over-hyped clothing store chain, and also not having your nom de Wonkette link to your own blog rather than to your IntenseDebate profile ("your one-stop past comments shop") like everyone else here. I know times is tough, but still…

      In other words: Keep those safety scissors sheathed, and we won't be forced to go all Serrano on your pee score.

      Bonne chance with your upcoming exhibits, you ex-pat traitor to Real America, you!

      (Seriously, dude, good luck…)

      • I hear you et c'est entendu. Merci et tout çela. A+.

        • Extemporanus

          De rien, Mr. Pink…

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Not even Harry Tuttle?

      • Limeylizzie

        Harry Tuttle is a cunt of the first magnitude.

  • smokefilledroommate

    …told me it was a reference to a certificate she obtained from a course at Oxford overseen by the Phoenix Instutute…

    Someone skipped some classes at the Spelling Institute.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Looks more like the graduating class of Hamburger U http://goingconcern.com/_old/2009/09/04/hamburger
    Which, if it were true, would raise my respect for her just a little.

    • smokefilledroommate

      Robble?

      • Extemporanus

        Robble robble.

        "Hey, baby! Do Fry Guys come with them shakes?"

        "No, but they sure as hell do Grimace."

    • capitolhillblly

      Yeah, Mayor McCheese inspired her to enter "public service.".

  • petehammer

    "But it turns out that was just a course conducted by an institution known as the Phoenix Institute, which merely rented space at Oxford."

    HOLY CRAP. She is the next MacGyver! Why is she divulging this top secret information? Does this mean she is merely a puppet for Pete Thornton?
    Phoenix Foundation

    (Did no one else watch this show as a kid?)

  • V572625694

    I myself attended the University of Harvard in Dothan Alabama.

  • chickensmack

    The University of Mississippi is in Oxford. Maybe that's what she meant; just around the corner from Tupelo, the home of the American Family Association, and home to the World's Largest Collection of Baptist People™.

    Delawho? Bullshit, she must've meant Ole Miss.

    • zhubajie

      And of course, hometown of William Faulkner, who made a career from writing about Teatards.

  • Outrageous exageration is the new postmodern honesty.

    I'm like definitely going to start including all the places I've flown over in the list of places I've visited.

    • V572625694

      Why not? It gives you the big picture.

    • elviouslyqueer

      Outrageous exaggeration is the new postmodern honesty.

      Awesome. Also, this is good news for Jean-Francois Lyotard.

    • Rosie_Scenario

      That's one of the first recorded lies from Mama Grizzly — inflatin' her international experience by countin' airport connections and the like. O'Donnell is learning at the knee of a practiced pathological liar about things big and small.

  • JMPEsq

    Is the Phoenix Institute part of the University of Phoenix? If that's the case, that doesn't even count as a course or a school, but just useless crap.

  • O.K., I did. Looks like a cool, or at any rate an ambitious project. I get carpal tunnel syndrome just thinking about it.

  • RightWrite

    Thank God this Rightist O'Donnell has been exposed for not attending this class she attended at Oxford — or was it at Oxford, but not at Oxford, but at Oxford not but not…damn. Kind of like Obama not being a socialist member in college — or not worshiping the Cloward/Piven Bible.

    • CapnFatback

      Obama has a socialist member?!1:-9:-08=====>

      • JMPEsq

        To be fair, I assume RigtWrite is using the wingnut's definition of socialism, which is "to the left of Mussolini". Also it automatically is bad.

        • CapnFatback

          I assume a socialist member is one that really spreads its seed around, a la "redistributing the spunk."

    • Crank_Tango

      Jeremy Piven wrote a bible?

      PS Jesus that is one gay elephant in your avatar…it only needs a little sailor cap to be complete. I'm sure you have one lying around somewhere.

      • x111e7thst

        It is universally accepted that Cloward and Piven's article gave ACORN the idea to start peddling subprime mortgages to poor minorities in the 1980s, knowingly laying the groundwork for a global economic meltdown nearly thirty years later. What is less well understood is that these two Moriartys of the Radical Left slipped Christine O'D the drugs that cause her to babble endlessly about masturbation and lie every time she opens her mouth. WAKE UP SHEEPLE

    • smokefilledroommate

      'RightWrite'? Is that the new Conservative supermarket?

      Love,
      LeftLeft

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Didn't she admit to being a bit of a roundheels in school? Maybe she meant "University of Suckmycocksford."

  • She went to Oxford in the same way that I went to the Sorbonne. Really. And I tell people I went to the Sorbonne, because they´re impressed with that. But, little miss Christinerbeaner, I´m not running for the United States fucking Senate.

    • prommie

      I went to the Sorbonne, too; I walked right in, on my way to the Luxembourg Gardens. Pretty, cool neighborhood.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Oh, and, "shocker." Huh-huh.

    • as in "The Shocker" ? That is so 2006!

      But really, points for Wonketteers who manage to pose for pix with Christine while making the infamous three-fingered gesture.

  • BrentKockman

    ChristineOD attended Oxford.

    and I'm a space cowboy. I have a puppy that farts rainbows and my bong water never needs to be changed.

  • Terry

    "How did she get the time and money to fuck off to England and take this stupid class? Who knows?! "

    Recall that Fairleigh Dickensen had to legally chase her for years to get her to pay her tuition.

    • It wasn't until she started running for shit that she could afford to pay her bills.

      • Ducksworthy

        Yes this running for whatever shit I'm running for has been a good career move for Xistine. I'm planning on running for some kind of shit as teabagging idiot in 2012 to get me some of the Koch money too, also.

  • DaSandman

    She also attended Harvardyalestanfordduke university. At least thats what the pent up natutal forces residing in her Nether Regions (TM) told her

  • doxastic

    So that's what happened to postmodernism! It died of embarrassment!

  • Groupshrug

    Does this mean I have to take Columbia University off my resume, because I actually only took a bartending class there?

  • kvetch

    will someone please tell me when I can cast my vote for Xena, Warrior Princess? BTW, I drove by Yale once quiet a number of years ago. I became a quant for a hedge fund shortly after than and now own Tristan de Cunha in its entirety.

  • sussemilch

    She meant to say she went to Oxboro Clinic, to take care of that nasty STD.

  • Steverino247

    Whatever happens, I hope Bill Maher keeps dredging up videos of her lying her ass off and saying stupid shit. Not that it's going to change the minds of the shit-fer-brains constituency.

  • capitolhillblly

    Major in masturbatory anatomy.

  • hooray4anything

    I think the most surprising thing here is that she actually wanted to play up Oxford as not only is it one of the leading colleges in the world but it's in another country. Why would she think that any Republican would think that's a good thing? If she really wanted to impress people in her party, she should have just lied about attending five or six different community colleges instead.

    • Serolf_Divad

      And fuck… why would a Teabagger admit to having studied Postmodernism? That'd be like Dennis Kucinich bragging about the courses he took with Milton Friedman.

      • hooray4anything

        Postmodernism is actually a big influence in Conservative thought in that it's helped teach them that you can say anything you want just as long as you yell it repeated on Fox.

  • fuflans

    she IS rather plump for america's new pin up girl.

    then of course, this is america.

  • Tim

    It looks like Oxford now has the same place in the idiot mind as Julliard did for certain rock musicians a while back. Doesn't anyone remember all the heavy metal guitarists that "graduated from Julliard" in the 80's?

    Oh, and "Rhodes Scholar" doesn't mean shit, obviously, since David Vitter and Piyush "Bobbi" Jindal both have this distinction. It's fitting though, since the Rhodes Trust was started to educate the third world "wogs" of the British empire so that they could be educated and sent back to run things the way the empire wanted.

    • Bonzos_Bed_Time

      You're saying she went to school with Randy Rhoads?
      That's awesome. She now has my vote!

  • Badonkadonkette

    Finally, we can take solace in knowing Christine O’Donnell will not be elected.

    Eh, don't bet on it, Jack. I mean, I know you're being sardonic (probably), but this just reminds me that there are plenty of wingnuts that actually believe leadership is more about saying things you believe deep down in your black little heart, instead of being the better person and practicing diplomacy. Or that a candidate who reminds you of your local barfly is more qualified to be leader of the free world than the candidate who has worked harder to get where they are than you will in your whole life. Or that someone who promises to stop being the utter cock monkey they've been their entire life if only you'll vote them into office must be telling the truth, because they say go to church, just like you say you go to church.

    Oh I haz a big sad on now.

    • HELisforHEL

      Ewww. It sounds like the violence & porn queen Linda McMahon campaign. I am starting to fear that she could actually win, too. She's another moronic asshole who should be stopped with a high caliber rifle. Speaking of which…where's Neilist (sp)?

  • elpinche

    The Pheonix institute story is bullshit, too.

    O'Donnell could'nt resist Sally Struthers and got her degree in the supernatural arts , right in her own house!

  • Blendergoathead

    Ha ha, Phoenix Institute = Order of the Phoenix = Harry Potter = Magic = SHE *IS* A WITCH! BURN HER!

  • DashboardBuddha

    I thought she said Oxnard. I don't know if there's actually a school in Oxnard. I just like typing the word Oxnard.

    Oxnard.

    • Carcuntz_R_Us

      Oxnards. They're like Trucknutz except they dangle from an ox instead of a truck.

  • ttommyunger

    What she means is, she WOULD HAVE gone to Oxford, but she had a vision which revealed all the "hand-spanky" and "knobgobbling" going on there between classes and was warned by the Harley Spirit to keep her twinkie in its original unwrapped and undefiled state. You do know that Twinkies last for YEARS so long as the wrapper remains intact. She DOES claim virginity, right? Or is it just the celibate, no spanky shit she is lying about? God, its so hard to keep up with all the mendacity nowadays.

    • zhubajie

      Maybe virgin in one way but not another. Or maybe she's had one of those restitory operations.

      • ttommyunger

        Is you implyin' that eatin' ain't cheatin? Why, I never! Not much, anyway.

  • Failure_Artist

    And of course the first comment on that article is "U afraid?" Whenever we point out the Emperor isn't wearing clothes, wingnuts say "Oh you're just afraid of how fierce his outfit is."

  • OzoneTom

    I seem to recall that Jethro Bodine was an Oxford man.

  • Her brother, Ox O'Donnell, used to drive her to school in his Ford. So it is yet another un-lie from our lil' she Jesus.

  • alzronnie

    Don't knock the Phoenix Institute. Its relationship with Oxford University is similar to the partnership of my alma mater, the Art Instruction School, with the Harvard School of Medicine. I can draw accurate renditions of many types of surgical procedures, at least those which look like a cowboy or a small dog.

    • HELisforHEL

      And the pirate. Don't forget the pirate.

  • Tundra Grifter

    Off-the-Mark (speaking of Ms. O'Donnell's opponent) said anyone who lies about their educational credentials shouldn't be voted into public office.

    So – now he's going to sit this one out?

  • Rotundo_

    You peed there, you went there, Assuming you sat down or used a urinal you aimed, therefore studied porcelain art and water treatment strategies. When resume padding in the GOP sense of the word, merely existing in proximity to greatness is sufficient to claim it for your own. If she wants to claim that she studied civil rights under Martin Luther King all she has to find is a street sign with Martin Luther King Boulevard and read a book, one with big letters and lots of pictures, about the man and bango, a legitimate claim.

  • MuslinMosk

    FUCK.

    I hope my boss doesn't find out that my PhD from Vincennes University is actually from that week I went to Red Skelton Clown School.

  • Noonan_

    And there will be a reverent ferocity of masturbation from Senate office to Senate office, from House seat to House seat, from on top of Robert Byrd’s coffin to inside Ted Kennedy’s coffin, and all across this great land.

    Work blocked the Wonkettes today – which sucks – so I'm just posting now, but that quote reminds me of Sen. Byrd's speech on Michael Vick dogfighting. "Barbaric….let that word resound from hill to hill and from mountain to mountain and from valley to valley across this broad land."

  • Sue4466

    Doesn't saying she attended Oxford hurt her with her "base." You know the morans who think book learning is for elite lefties who want to turn the country to socialism?

  • problemwithcaring

    I guess "I want to bring Certificate-I-obtained-from-a-course-at-Oxford-overseen-by-the-Phoenix- Institute,-which-"runs-summer-seminar-programs-at-universities-around-the-world values to Congress" couldn't fit in a tweet.

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