PEDOBAGGER STRIKES AGAIN!  10:15 am September 28, 2010

Teabaggers Trying to Seduce Your Children With Coloring Books

by Riley Waggaman

If you want candy and no more taxes just crawl into my Party Box!The Teabaggers are in a bit of a conundrum. There are only X many white people that can be wooed with promises of Made in China flag-waving picnics, and every day America is becoming less “white” and more “immigrant.” So what’s Plan B? Sell fun Teabagger coloring books to all the white children! Even Hitler understood the importance of winning the Hearts and Minds of the youth when he famously said, “I begin with the young. We older ones are used up but my magnificent youngsters! Look at all these men and boys!” Hitler then added in his best baby-talk voice, “So, which one of you little fuckers wants a coloring book?” Some people say history often repeats itself. And others say coloring books help children learn about reckless Muslin Stimulus Spendin’.

Thousands of years of therapy, right here.Ha ha. This is child abuse. Let’s read the sales pitch though, before reporting this to Social Services:

A wonderful book of The Tea Party for Kids! Teaches children (and parents) about the origins of the Tea Party and what it involves. A very pleasant song, coloring and activity book on Liberty, Faith, Freedom and so much more! Get involved, participate, self reliance, freedom of choice, work, government-of-for-by the people, Leadership, Ingenuity, Jobs and responsibilty!

You know who also liked to sing “pleasant songs” and color pictures of Paul Revere beating up Mexicans? [ColoringBook.com]

Thank you to Wonkette operative “Gina”!

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 55 comments }

Ferchrissakes September 28, 2010 at 10:28 am

"Freedom of choice?" So Teabaggers are pro-choice? Nice.

CrankyLttlCamperette September 28, 2010 at 11:12 am

Anyone else notice this:

Really Big Coloring Books ® (RBCB) are manufactured in the United States with Soy Ink and guaranteed 100% safe against non-toxic inks, paints & dyes! We participate in the Sustainable Forestry Initiative Program.

I kinda hope that this is a cash cow product for tree-huggers. After all, they also offer this: http://www.coloringbook.com/presidentobamaaninaug

MiniMencken September 28, 2010 at 1:27 pm

Well, this just means it is high time to create and market a Wonkette coloring book, with an image of Ken Layne riding a Snarkasaurus and a picture puzzle entitled "Can you count all of the TrukNutz™?"

ManchuCandidate September 28, 2010 at 11:13 am

Hahaha.

Considering the general age of Teabaggers (aka OLD) then this is designed for anyone under 40.

HistoriCat September 28, 2010 at 4:24 pm

It can be a gift –
"here you go sweetie – a coloring book."
"Thanks grandma – it's as good as that Don't Tread on Me t-shirt"

WarAndGee September 28, 2010 at 11:14 am

Page 4 has a poem:

Government by the people,
for the people
who think,
exactly like me,
and look
just like me,
anything else
is tyranny
and you will never be free.

fuflans September 28, 2010 at 11:15 am

I read that baggers have descended on williamsburg asking the George Washington actors how to overthrow a tyrannical government.

weejee September 28, 2010 at 11:20 am
mookwrthwilson September 28, 2010 at 11:22 am

White house lawn needs moar watermelons…

elpinche September 28, 2010 at 12:31 pm

wonkett win !

ChurchofRealism September 28, 2010 at 11:22 am

Shouldn't that be Rand Paul Revere?

Guppy06 September 28, 2010 at 11:25 am

Still not as awesome as Catholic coloring books.

Gopherit September 28, 2010 at 11:47 am

Don't forget the <a href ="http://ldscoloringpages.net/"&gt; Mormon coloring pages. They're a laff riot. And so informative.

Weenus299 September 28, 2010 at 11:35 am

All the founding fathers have that doped-up Disney look.

gurukalehuru September 28, 2010 at 11:38 am

everybody is white, until they are colored

i'm not sure if that is like, accidentally deep, or just stupid, but i like the sound of it

Anthr_DCLwyr3d September 28, 2010 at 11:46 am

What color is "crazy"… is that "taupe?"

Gopherit September 28, 2010 at 11:49 am

If the cover art on that book was more accurate from a Teatard POV, you'd have evil orcs shutting down that lemonade stand for not having the proper permits.

GOPCrusher September 28, 2010 at 1:31 pm

Needz Moar SEIU Thugz.

fatoots September 28, 2010 at 12:33 pm

Gina is me! This came from a Boston.com blog, and the author posted an excerpt from the book pages:
"When taxes are too high, the high tax takes away jobs and freedom. In 1773 we had a Tea Party and this led to freedom from high taxes. Today we are having another Tea Party and this will lead to freedom from high taxes again! Ask grandma and grandpa what this means. Ask you friends what this means. Are you going to have your own Tea Party?"

After my 5 glass of wine I posted this in the comment section:

"Ask grandma and grandpa what this means."

"It means the neo-cons are going to privatize Social Security, even though it is self funded and isn't adding to the deficit, so they can use grandma's money to invest in junk bonds and bad CDO's. Then grandma and grandpa are gonna lose all their retirement funds, and have to live with you and mommy and daddy. That will make daddy really cranky and he'll drink more and be distant. This will make mommy stressed and angry. Life will get really scary and confusing and you will get bad grades in school. Ask your friends about this…"

JustPixelz September 28, 2010 at 12:42 pm

And the "high taxes" the colonials were paying (or not) were like a penny a year. Taxes were the stalking horse for other issues involving property, religion, manufacturing.

MsElla September 28, 2010 at 12:33 pm

The teabaggers envied by the other wingnuts are the ones who hoarded the old Crayolas, when the Peach crayon was named Flesh.

Katydid September 28, 2010 at 12:34 pm

Meh. I'm waiting for "Where's Sarah?"

scotterl September 28, 2010 at 12:39 pm

Where is the page with the Tea Party populated exclusively by Mad Hatters–Palin, Bachmann, O'Donnell, Armey, Paladino… http://www.facebook.com/pages/Tea-Party-Mad-Hatte

ttommyunger September 28, 2010 at 12:42 pm

My favorite is on page 6 where Sheriff Joe R. Piehole is giving Tom Tancredo a reach-around in the prison tent.

AccordionORama September 28, 2010 at 1:19 pm

"Pleasant songs":

Jesus loves me this I know
Muslim prez'nit's black as crow
As I lay be down to sleep
Trust funds in the bank doth keep
Me all safe and also Boehner
From severed heads in Arizoner.

Extemporanus September 28, 2010 at 1:55 pm

Just so everyone knows, that dumb "box & candy" technique is overly complicated and highly ineffective.

Instead, I'ld recommend the can't-fail combination of an inner-city ice cream truck and a chloroform headlock. Think "Pied Piper of Pedophilia", and you'll have a pretty good idea what I'm talkiing about…

weejee September 28, 2010 at 3:57 pm

DId Riley give you royalties on the use of Pedobear?

PuckStopsHere September 28, 2010 at 2:53 pm

The "origins of the tea party" are that they named themselves for a sex act which invovles the wholesale insertion of a man's testicles into another person's mouth. On which page of the coloring book is this act depicted? Fucking Baggers.

ClownCrusade September 28, 2010 at 6:55 pm

So cute they way they taught the kinds to hide the bomb planted on the White House lawn under a lemonade stand. Adorable!

transfatz September 28, 2010 at 10:26 pm

The new Christine O'Donnell coloring book…"Don't Do This"
The new Sarah Palin coloring book…"Is That You, Todd?"

Burgdorf September 29, 2010 at 1:50 am

These are the same people that nearly had a heart attack when Obama wanted to talk to America's school children to tell them their education is important and to stay in school–"because that is a blatant attempt to indoctrinate our precious youth to your political agenda"…Yet a coloring book designed with the express purpose of getting kids involved with a political party is totally fine with them–"its not indoctrination, its educational and informative because it is what we believe"

elviouslyqueer September 28, 2010 at 11:11 am

some Edmund Burke quotes about masturbating with a pair of his mom's soiled underpants to a picture of shirtless John Galt.

There. Fixed for Tuttle-like accuracy.

prommie September 28, 2010 at 11:11 am

Bury the ashes under a crossroad, at midnight.

Lascauxcaveman September 28, 2010 at 1:51 pm

Sounds like a waste of gasoline; what with the price of toilet paper these days…

Barrelhse September 28, 2010 at 6:20 pm

Now find those teachers and do the same!

OneDollarJuana September 28, 2010 at 11:13 am

Yeah. It was the same color as the muscle fascia of a guy who crashed his motorcycle in front of me.

JMPEsq September 28, 2010 at 11:28 am

They had changed it to "peach" by my time.

prommie September 28, 2010 at 11:14 am

They long for the Good Old Days, remember, when we all had paper routes, remember, paper routes, and we put baseball cards in the spokes of our Schwinn, and that freckled scamp, Dennis (what a menace he was) was always getting old Mr. Wilson so exasperated with his antics!

OneDollarJuana September 28, 2010 at 11:19 am

Don't forget the lemons (inspected by the USDA), the sugar (subsidized by the taxpayers, the water (filtered, clean, and safe from your water department).

not that Dewey September 28, 2010 at 11:23 am

Thank you.

Trinket September 28, 2010 at 1:45 pm

Shut up! If you say Its name, you summon It!

JMPEsq September 28, 2010 at 11:25 am

And, most importantly, the schools were still segregated and black people were still effectively barred from voting, most women knew their place, and gays didn't exist.

gurukalehuru September 28, 2010 at 11:33 am

That is the version for adults

Gleem_McShineys September 28, 2010 at 3:22 pm

Ha ha! You almost implied that teabaggers can be adults, there!

Oblios_Cap September 28, 2010 at 11:34 am

Did you guys run that fucker off yet?

walterhwhite September 28, 2010 at 1:23 pm

I beg to differ. They don't read anything. They watch Fox Noise and listen to Rush Limbaugh. All other ideas, especially those in books, are prohibited.

GOPCrusher September 28, 2010 at 1:28 pm

But floridated to promote mind control.

teebob2000 September 28, 2010 at 1:47 pm

Ah-hah! That's where the book's villains enter the picture in the form of TOO MUCH GOV'MINT!!! They try to shut the stand down for not having the proper permits from the health dept. And there's a stand-off and the ATF agents are called in, and they're defeated by Eric Rudolph and Timothy McVeigh and good 'Merican citizens exercising their God-given 2nd amendment rights. Amen.

Swampgas_Man September 28, 2010 at 1:29 pm

Boehnerites were all using Bright Orange, until Obama started taxing tanning salons.

teebob2000 September 28, 2010 at 1:43 pm

That's the "Log Cabin" version of the book. In the end they all die.

Barrelhse September 28, 2010 at 6:04 pm

They probably already bought their 128 Crayola Crayons sets, with a sharpener on the box.

Barrelhse September 28, 2010 at 6:18 pm

They simply looked at the Kool-Ade packet on the counter to spell-check.

Barrelhse September 28, 2010 at 7:35 pm

And these are the people who get offended when ya call them 'tards.

not that Dewey September 28, 2010 at 9:36 pm

First they came for Harry Tuttle, but I said nothing…

mathman72 September 30, 2010 at 5:03 pm

I think coloringbook.com is a site which sells custom coloring books for all sorts of people and organizations.

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