it's morning in america

America Finally Safe From Immigrant Children And Their Immigrant Ways

Remember: Just cuz yer small don't mean yer not brown.

  • Yesterday, Senate Republicans — the most sexually secure people in the entire world — filibustered a motion to debate the possibility of maybe repealing Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. You were probably too busy having a ham biscuits parade in honor of Lindsey Graham, but did you hear about that “other” thing Senate Republicans stalled, like true defenders of the Constitution? The (un-American) Dream Act would allow “children of undocumented immigrants to get on a path to citizenship,” and that is just nauseating and makes us want to vomit in our mouths because it is such a bad idea. And now, thanks to the diligence of Senate Republicans, America is finally safe from the gays and the undocumented babies/future 9/11 hijackers. [WaPo]
  • Some Iowa farmers blamed for the salmonella outbreak apologized during a House committee hearing on eggs. [Fox News]
  • Mortgage fraud is a very severe problem in America right now. But what “is” mortgage fraud? It is something that happens in Florida a lot. [McClatchy]
Related

About the author

Riley is an "internet blogger." He has written for such internet websites as True/Slant and the terrible Brangelina gossip emporium "The Huffington Post." Riley lives in northeast DC, near H Street. Maybe you do too and want to hang out?

View all articles by Riley Waggaman

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.