Oh Look, Dumb Quotes From the Value Voters Summit

Romney, jealous of those who butcher the English language:

“America will repudiate Obama-style liberalism.”

Huckabee, frothing with murderous imagery:

“It’s going to be a great time for us to convene those death panels and finally offer a lethal injection to the kind of congressional arrogance we have had them lording over us for so long.”

Pence, solving our national debt by cutting funding that doesn’t exist:

“You want to find savings? Let’s cut funding to research that destroys human embryos in the name of science and let’s deny any and all funding to Planned Parenthood of America.”

DeMint, handing the reins of American power to the nation’s idiots:

“November the 2nd you’re going to see who’s stupid and they’re going to be out of Washington and we’re gonna be back in.”

Bachmann, on her feelings toward the fascisms:

“Would you like to alter the Supreme Courts? What about those federal agencies? I knew I liked you. I really knew I liked you.”


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Jack Stuef is your loyal editor and a freelance satirist or something like that. He is a contributing writer for The Onion. E-mail him or whatever.

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