Triumph des Bachmanns

New Twilight Mashup Features Michele Bachmann and Other Crazy Ladies


Have you pre-ordered your “wet section” box seats for the premiere of Fire from the Heartland: the Awakening of the Conservative Woman, Leni Riefenstahl’s most recent and celebrated film? We assume this documentary is about angry moms who want more wars for their children to die in, but watch the trailer and you shall quickly realize these conservative ladies only want to gossip about how Barack Obama keeps shoving things into their mouth-holes. Ergo: This video is not suitable for work.

We understand this is a Vimeo video, which means by default it must be edgy and racy and elitist and blah blah blah, but what is with all the throat-pillaging? It begins almost immediately, at 0:25, with “people had been ramming their candidate down our throats,” and then there is a nice follow-up at 1:04, “because of the policies he is pushing down our throats.” There are probably hundreds of other fine examples, but after 1:10 we decided to press pause and uninstall our Internets. If you were brave and watched the entire three minutes you already know that this movie chronicles the endless heroism of Michele Bachmann and also two other random wingnut Congressladies, Cynthia Lummis of Wyoming and Jean Schmidt of Ohio:

According to the documentary producers the women “share their emotional stories of hardship and triumph in their fight for freedom. These women leaders are fanning the flames of liberty across the nation.”

Ha ha, Michele Bachmann is going to travel across America, fanning the flames of Liberty. But really they will just be “normal” flames and she will burn your house down. No point in complaining, you couldn’t afford that house anyway. [Minnesota Independent]

Related

About the author

Riley is an "internet blogger." He has written for such internet websites as True/Slant and the terrible Brangelina gossip emporium "The Huffington Post." Riley lives in northeast DC, near H Street. Maybe you do too and want to hang out?

View all articles by Riley Waggaman

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.