Your Wonkette has been trying all week long to gain entrance to the Right Nation 2010 sideshow spectacular happening in Chicago this weekend. With a line-up that includes star-studs Glenn Beck, Andrew Breitbart, and Aaron Schock, it is, by far, the most exotic political entertainment situation to occur in “Obama’s back yard” since Rod Blagojevich sang that song with FabioFriend. But the last communique from Right Nation HQ, issued several days ago, said that media might not be allowed into the spectacle at all — even if we promised to wear a Beckini. What a sad day for the First Amendment, and for fashion.
As of this writing — and after speaking to various lamestream reporters in the Chitown metro region — Beck Party HQ hasn’t instituted any sort of press-credentialing procedure. They must be afraid of moles. It’s understandable.
Because of ObamaCare, we are too broke to pay $125 out-of-pocket for the chance to spend a Saturday sitting around in a suburban sports arena, making “Republican, conservative, libertarian, free market, and Tea Party independent” friends. This means we won’t be able to rock out to the inspirational sounds of Kevin Chalfant, or ask Andrew Breitbart to sign our commemorative tee with his BigSharpie, or sexually assault us again, or anything cool like that. (Perhaps if we had told Andrew that Riley was coming, he would have left a ticket for us.)
We guess we will just while away the day watching this YouTube video over and over and over again, wondering what might have been:
It just hurts so much. [Right Nation/”Thanks” to Wonkette operative “Rev Paul” for the horrifying photo]