fetch lindsey some ham biscuits boy

South Carolina Republicans Have Fun Slavery Dress-Up Party

Yes suh, I'll meets ya in da restroom stall.The National Federation of Republican Women had a board-of-directors meeting in South Carolina over the weekend. Which means that it was the perfect opportunity to have a cocktail party called “A Southern Experience” at the Charleston Country Club, complete with two black people hired to play slaves or something and pose with guests. As you can see above, S.C. Senate President Glenn McConnell likes to dress up as a Confederate general all the time, so he couldn’t help himself and decided not to wear cocktail attire (not of this century anyway). Oh, by the way, we looked at the brochure for this meeting. This party also featured a “live auction.” Jesus Christ.

In addition to McConnell, S.C. Gov. Mark Sanford attended (and spoke at) the event – although it was not listed on his weekly public schedule.

Invited speakers to the NFRW conference included U.S. House Majority Leader John Boehner, Senate Leader Mitch McConnell, RNC Chairman Michael Steele, Rep. Joe Wilson, House Speaker Bobby Harrell, former U.S. Ambassador David Wilkins and GOP gubernatorial nominee Nikki Haley.

Aww, Sanford was the only person lonely enough to show up to this slavery party. (That’s because Lindsey Graham wasn’t invited. No relatively-out gay Republicans allowed. “AWWWW, HAM BISCUITS!”)

So was Sanford auctioned off to an eligible mistress, or just the slave folk? And was he involved in the “Carolina Shag demonstration”? [FITS News]

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Jack Stuef is your loyal editor and a freelance satirist or something like that. He is a contributing writer for The Onion. E-mail him or whatever.

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