Huge DNC Announcement: They Updated Their LiveJournal Template

 
 CNN was certain yesterday that the Democratic Party, at long last, was evolving into a whole new Pokemon. It was going totally overhaul the party and make libruls shriek like banshees in pure banshee euphoria. Were we sarcastically skeptical of this hot tip CNN exclusiv'd? Yes, we were. But it turns out that was pure cynicism, because the political world is in absolute turmoil right now, as Democrats have pulled off the ultimate game-changer:  They redesigned their web page and have a new logo.

Tim Kaine is a burning bush. Thusly he spake:

“Later on today at George Washington University … I’m going to do a roll out of a new … web page for the DNC. It’s kind of a new look, new slogan, new tools. It‘s been about a decade since we’ve done this. And so we’re switching the focus from the DNC … [to] the people — Democrats, 75 million strong, proud to be Democrats.”

By this point, you have probably died because your body forgot to breathe it was so stunned by this announcement. But we will look at this new site for a few seconds to please the aliens that come and want to read about the zenith of human civilization that was so beautiful it struck us all down.

First of all, this new logo is great . Out with the donkey, in with some dumb mod symbol! It sort of looks like a blue version of the Target logo, so hopefully voters will confuse the Democratic Party with their second favorite store after Wal-Mart. Or something that has to be pelted with arrows in the November election.

Wow! Wow! That's something that's never been done before!

 Look at this page! The Democrats are so on the cutting edge that they are on the edge of your browser . Does that make you uncomfortable? Tough! Left margins are old politics. This is a new paradigm.

But most of all, you have true dissent for the first time on a party website:

Tim Kaine tried to make a nice little blog post, and this guy ruined it. Since this is the website of "the people," and it seems the people have decided the Democratic Party should not exist, the DNC will now collapse into a black hole. [ The Blaze / Twitter / DNC ]