and no they still can't get divorced

Britain’s Brown People Make Pope Uncomfortable

Don't look directly at himSometimes friends let old arguments get between them and keep them apart for much longer than they should. That’s why Pope Benedict XVI has decided to be the “bigger man in a funny anachronistic outfit” and plans to head up to Jolly Old England for a make-up visit. But does the Vatican believe that this once pristine island has gone downhill ever since they started letting brown people in? Apparently!

Let’s not forget that Ratzinger and some of his inner circle are Germans, and the Germans and Brits experienced a bit of unpleasantness much more recent than Henry VIII’s marital difficulties. Right before Benedict was supposed to travel to party down with the Queen, one of these German henchmen had something impolitic to say:

One of the Pope’s senior advisers has pulled out of the papal visit to Britain, after reportedly saying the UK is a “Third World country” marked by “a new and aggressive atheism”.

The German-born [Cardinal Walter Kasper] was quoted as saying to the country’s Focus magazine that “when you land at Heathrow you think at times you have landed in a Third World country”.

Ha ha yes, because if there’s one strong constant in this world its the correlation between third wold countries and atheism! Anyway, you’d think that the Vatican would do some damage control at this point, and they did. This is what the Vatican thinks “damage control” looks like, which explains a lot:

The Vatican said the cardinal had not intended “any kind of slight”, and was referring to the UK’s multicultural society.

“You see, when the cardinal said Britain was a ‘third-world country,’ he was simply referring to the fact that many Britons are not white. We can’t understand why this might be seen as controversial.”

Many member of the multi-colored British mob will be protesting the pope by becoming protestants marching and carrying signs and such. Here’s how you can take the tube to the pram on the telly or whatever the hell it is they do over there and join them! [BBC/Protest the Pope]

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About the author

Josh was born and raised in Buffalo, New York, leaving him with a love of chicken wings and a tendency to say “pop”. He taught ancient Greek and Roman history to undergraduates before fleeing from academia in terror; worked for a failed San Francisco dot-com that neglected to supply him with stock options or an Aeron chair; lived in Berlin, where he mostly ate Indian and Ethiopian food; finished in third place on his sole Jeopardy! appearance (the correct answer was “Golda Meir”); and was named 2007 Blogger of the Year by The Week, for obvious reasons. Josh is the creator/editor of COMICS CURMUDGEON (which you should read) and does geeky editing and writing about geeky things such as "the Java programming industry for JavaWorld." He lives in Baltimore with his wife Amber and his cat Hoagie.

View all articles by Josh Fruhlinger

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