Primaries Give Birth To Endless Comedy, Forever
Um, what happened last night? It is almost impossible to know for sure, but here is what we think we know: Delaware jerk-off Christine O'Donnell defeated Rep. Mike Castle, racist Buffalo wing(nut) Carl Paladino won the Republican gubernatorial primary in New York, and Vincent Gray beat Adrian Fenty in the DC mayoral primary ("nobody" should have won that one). The real winner last night was Your Wonkette, of course.[ NYT/ Fox News / WaPo ]
The United States is bombing Pakistan like it's 2004. (Literally: Missile attacks have increased in Pakistan and are now as frequent as they were in 2004.) So if you thought Predator Drones were only for "vaporizing Afghan weddings," think again. Because who says we can't vaporize the brides of Pakistan? [ Fox News ]
Tropical Storm Karl has "leveled up" to Almost Hurricane Strength, and is heading straight for Mexico. Even the god forsaken pseudo-hurricanes know there are no good jobs in the United States, Lord have mercy. [ CNN ]
She should be glad the dildos are modeled after his ego rather than his actual penis.
Wouldn't it be funny if O'Donnell actually won? I mean, if there are enough willfully stupid people in Delaware, that is. It's possible...especially if she can get enough people to join the Abstinence 'til 80/Anti-Masturbation bandwagon. They can even use this campaign slogan...free:
Don't Touch Me There in Delaware