• May 26, 2012
POWDER PUFF

September 13, 2010

Capitol Celebrates 9/11 a Couple of Days Late, By Being Evacuated

by Jack Stuef  

Likely suspects.It seems like just yesterday your afternoon editor’s junior high school was in total, day-long lockdown because somebody dropped some Sweet ‘N Low in the parking lot. Now the Capitol building has shut down for a little early-2000s nostalgia to celebrate those classic post-9/11 fear memories. “Early reports indicated the suspicious substance was an undetermined white powder, but a Capitol police officer tells TPM the substance was initially described as yellow powder.” Whoever said it was a yellow powder hates fun and America and 9/11.

The House is adjourned until tomorrow, but the Capitol is still crowded with tourists, who will be confined to the Senate until the matter is resolved.

Oh good! They can pass some laws while they’re in there.

So what IS this mysterious white powder? Somebody left the door open of the death-panel room where they cremate the grandparents, and some of the dust got out. Gather it up, tourists! You can sell it on eBay! [TPM]

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