Charlie Crist Loves the Gays, Lives On a Beach

Charlie Crist knows he does not want gay marriage in Florida. But there was that time when it seemed like he didn't believe in gay marriage at all.Now he is "rolling out" his new policy on the gays, and he is once again against all gay marriage. But he thinks they should have hospital visits and be allowed to serve in the military so theycan make the two kinds of porn he likeswill have those rights, at least. Meanwhile, he is back on the teevee with two ads. He has ditched his amazing anagram magic tricks and is now living on the beach as a common meth bum.

That looks like a vagina. That looks like a vagina. That looks like a vagina. That looks like a vagina. That looks like a vagina. That looks like a vagina. That looks like a vagina. That looks like a vagina. That looks like a vagina. That looks like a vagina. Oh look, it's Charlie Crist. And now things have gotten all frothy and the vagina in the sand has disappeared. THIS IS DISGUSTING. Get your ads out of the gutter, Charlie Crist. You approve this message because sand vaginas are about people, not politics. WE GET IT. Fine.

Now it seems Charlie Crist has found him a walkin' stick! He uses this walking stick to illustrate his insignificance in the context of the universe. Wait, no, he uses it to promise Floridians he will "take the best ideas" from both parties, i.e. those that poll the best. When he gets to the Senate, Charlie Crist will magically enact those best ideas, despite whichever party is in power, because he will be the only one in the Senate who is allowed to vote. And thus we will have bipartisanship. The end. [ YouTube ]