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Michele Bachmann Will Bribe the Homosexuals

A low-cal Christini and a night of homosexual buttsex.Representative Michele Bachmann is one of the hardest-working members of your Pulitzer Prize-winning Wonkette staff. She spends a lot of time making the country safer for all straight white Christian persons, but she still finds time to craft a weekly message just for her Wonkette fans. Today, she explains how the gays can be convinced to give up their sinful ass-plundering ways: with real estate! Also, it is possible that she was mildly intoxicated when she improvised this rant for you? Her cocktail of choice? A low-cal Christini, of course.

About the author

Sara Benincasa is an award-winning comedian, writer and radio talk show host. Her outspoken, sexually-charged comedy has won praise from the Chicago Tribune, CNN, The Guardian, and The New York Times, and has earned her an ECNY (Emerging Comedian of New York) Award and a Webby nomination. Her memoir, "Agorafabulous!: Dispatches From My Bedroom," (William Morrow/HarperCollins), was based on her critically acclaimed solo show about panic attacks and agoraphobia. She is currently working on a novel for young adults.

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