Shanah tovah u'betcha

Sarah Palin Wishes You a Very Happy Jew Year!

Oh yes, this existsEvery Jew in America — nay, every Jew throughout the world, today and across all time — wants one thing on Rosh Hashanah: a message from Sarah Palin. Fortunately, thanks to the magic of Facebook and Palin’s recent rediscovery of her Jewish heritage, this is now possible! And now that the fact that Sarah does not write her own Facebook ramblings is out in the open, this message isn’t even all that word salad-y, which is good, because the Jews tend to be smart people who don’t appreciate shapeless snowbilly prose. What magical words does Sarah have for the Chosen People — and how will her non-chosen fans react?

Well, go ahead and read it if you want, but you can just take our word for it that it can be summarized as “Platitudes, huzzah for Israel, Israel’s evil Muslim enemies are our evil Muslim enemies, platitudes.” Seems non-controversial enough for Sarah’s audience … or does it?

Stone cold mackerel snappin'

Hmmm, it looks like someone (hint: it is Mary Sheridan Faubion-Arling) has mistaken Sarah Palin for a common Papist, with this “mother of God” talk. Sarah doesn’t have time for your Romish idolatry! She is too busy sewing holes in America’s knees, so that … America can pray more, we guess? Sewing holes for 600 million pant legs does seem fairly labor-intensive. Why not just have the RNC buy America fancy new pants?

And that is your exciting Palin update! If you think there is too much Palin around, keep in mind that, according an economic advisor to the McCain presidential campaign, she is like the finest cocaine, and it is very difficult for us to stop putting her up our noses (metaphorically). [Sarah Palin's Facebook/TPM]

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About the author

Josh was born and raised in Buffalo, New York, leaving him with a love of chicken wings and a tendency to say “pop”. He taught ancient Greek and Roman history to undergraduates before fleeing from academia in terror; worked for a failed San Francisco dot-com that neglected to supply him with stock options or an Aeron chair; lived in Berlin, where he mostly ate Indian and Ethiopian food; finished in third place on his sole Jeopardy! appearance (the correct answer was “Golda Meir”); and was named 2007 Blogger of the Year by The Week, for obvious reasons. Josh is the creator/editor of COMICS CURMUDGEON (which you should read) and does geeky editing and writing about geeky things such as "the Java programming industry for JavaWorld." He lives in Baltimore with his wife Amber and his cat Hoagie.

View all articles by Josh Fruhlinger

Hola wonkerados.

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5 comments

  1. Rosie_Scenario

    p { margin: 0; }”Immaculate Conception” means conceived without original sin on one's soul, not that child was conceived by god/ virgin birth/ non-physical means. Though J.C. was conceived via the Holy Ghost, he actually had original sin (unlike Mary) and was baptized by John the Baptist. Mary was the only human who did not need to be baptized. Had to be very special to give birth to J.C/ son of god. Common misconception. Pardon the pun.

  2. Rosie_Scenario

    p { margin: 0; }”Immaculate Conception” means conceived without original sin on one's soul, not that child was conceived by god/ virgin birth/ non-physical means. Though J.C. was conceived via the Holy Ghost, he actually had original sin (unlike Mary) and was baptized by John the Baptist. Mary was the only human who did not need to be baptized. Had to be very special to give birth to J.C/ son of god. Common misconception. Pardon the pun.

  3. Rosie_Scenario

    p { margin: 0; }”Immaculate Conception” means conceived without original sin on one's soul, not that child was conceived by god/ virgin birth/ non-physical means. Though J.C. was conceived via the Holy Ghost, he actually had original sin (unlike Mary) and was baptized by John the Baptist. Mary was the only human who did not need to be baptized. Had to be very special to give birth to J.C/ son of god. Common misconception. Pardon the pun.

  4. Rosie_Scenario

    p { margin: 0; }”Immaculate Conception” means conceived without original sin on one's soul, not that child was conceived by god/ virgin birth/ non-physical means. Though J.C. was conceived via the Holy Ghost, he actually had original sin (unlike Mary) and was baptized by John the Baptist. Mary was the only human who did not need to be baptized. Had to be very special to give birth to J.C/ son of god. Common misconception. Pardon the pun.

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