ANDREW JACKSON WHY DID YOU BOTHER?  1:45 pm September 7, 2010

Charlie Crist Likes To Make Anagrams and Kendrick Meek Is On a Boat(s)

by Jack Stuef


It’s ad season in the “best Senate race ever,” that one in Florida. SO WHAT IS EVERYONE’S POSITION ON THE MOSK? They don’t say, even though that is the most important Florida issue you can talk about in Florida ads.

So look at this one above: Charlie Crist will BRING these giant letters to Washington, where he will play with them like a child. OMG, what is Crist rearranging those letters to say? “I LOVE FLORIDA”? No, just “AMERICANS.” Charlie Crist says he works for the “AMERICANS” party, but isn’t he supposed to be working for the people of Florida? Perhaps he has confused this Senate job with the presidency.

So if you elect Charlie Crist, he will man-whore himself out to every other state in the Union, turning tricks (votes) for cash.

Meanwhile, Kendrick Meek travels around on an airboat.

“That black man sat on a bus full of old people just like us without murdering them all. Perhaps it IS safe to vote for him.” — Florida

How is this man losing in a three-way race against two Republicans? Oh, right, he is just lame and boring. He’s meek, if you will. Har har har.

Obviously, Meek does not understand that voters are excited by anagrams, and thus he will lose.

And also Marco Rubio put out his first ad last week:

“What makes our story so special is that it isn’t unique.” No, what’s special is that Cuban-Americans do not teach their children that “special” and “unique” are synonyms. EVIL!

So why is this ad in black and white? To remind Florida olds of their favorite Cuban teevee show, I Love Lucy. THAT is how you win elections. [CNN]

 
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