mexicans are still violent monsters though!

Jan Brewer Admits Most Desert Corpses Have Heads, Are In ‘Mint Condition’

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One of Jan Brewer’s favorite hobbies is searching for all the human heads that are geocached in the desert. (Sometimes these heads are not even “cached,” and can be seen rolling around like tumbleweeds.) This is why Jan Brewer got PTSD when reporters hounded her about “desert beheadings” during her first and ONLY debate — can’t we just trust Jan Brewer and move on? All the human heads Jan Brewer finds in the desert are still attached to their respective bodies, okay? Are you happy now, jerks?

“That was an error, if I said that,” the Republican told The Associated Press on Friday. “I misspoke, but you know, let me be clear, I am concerned about the border region because it continues to be reported in Mexico that there’s a lot of violence going on and we don’t want that going into Arizona.”

She said she was referring to beheadings and other cartel-related violence in Mexico in comments she made earlier this summer about decapitated bodies found in the state’s southern region.

Tune in next week when Jan Brewer takes off her sexy blonde wig and reveals to the world that she is really John Boehner.

About the author

Riley is an "internet blogger." He has written for such internet websites as True/Slant and the terrible Brangelina gossip emporium "The Huffington Post." Riley lives in northeast DC, near H Street. Maybe you do too and want to hang out?

View all articles by Riley Waggaman


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