where on the doll did the debate touch you?

Traumatized Jan Brewer Not Going To Debate Anyone EVER AGAIN

Umm MessicansJan Brewer does not understand this whole debate thing and the idea that you have to make “opening statements” and have “accomplishments” to talk about in them, and thus she has decided she won’t do one ever again, SO THERE. “She said the only reason she debated him on Wednesday is she had to to qualify for more than $1.7 million in public funds for her campaign.” Change the rules, Arizona! America loves to cringe at this woman!

“I certainly will take my message in a different venue out to the people of Arizona,” she said.

And that message is written on, umm, one of these papers here somewhere, hold on.

Brewer said she has been in elective office for 28 years, and Goddard has held office for nearly that long. “I think it’s pretty defined what he stands for and what I stand for.”

Woah, that’s a long time! But if it has been so well defined for all those years that Brewer hates Messicans, why did it take her until this year to pass her beloved you-look-brown-where’s-your-ID law? Certainly it wouldn’t have anything to do with this being an election year.

Brewer blamed part of her post-debate activities on her gaffe in her opening statement. The governor also said she presumed reporters would want to talk to her about some of the issues raised during the hour-long, televised debate.

“All you guys were doing and talking were beheadings, beheadings, beheadings,” the governor said. “That is something that has stuck with you all for so long, and I just felt we needed to move on.”

Well, maybe you should stop being racist against people who don’t have heads, Jan. [Arizona Daily Star]

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Jack Stuef is your loyal editor and a freelance satirist or something like that. He is a contributing writer for The Onion. E-mail him or whatever.

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