Fellowship Of the Libtard Will Expose Frodo Tea Baggins’ Racism

  one whore diamond to rule them all

LARP party USAA giant racist Tea Bagger shadow has been cast over Middle-Earth (continental United States). And every day this racism grows, because nobody is strong enough to stand up and say, “Stop being racist,” and also Americans are too fat to stand up. And so, races from all corners of the liberal blogosphere have answered the call, probably on Skype. From Lonely Libtard Mountain come the Media Matters Dwarfs, and from H Street the Soros Elves of ThinkProgress. The Men from the NAACP showed up, and also uh, the Ents who hail from New Left Media. Have they all assembled to hear Yglesias the great Wizard recite his famous stories about barbershop deregulation? (No, that was yesterday.) This holy fellowship was formed to vanquish the near-impossible task of “documenting all the racist things Tea Bagger Orcs say/do/write on their cardboard signs and tank tops.”

Wait a second, isn’t there an Internet website that ALREADY DOES THIS?

Is the Fellowship of the Libtard trying to put your Wonkette out onto the streets, where it will be forced to sell its soft, innocent flesh to rapey K Street Grendels? Let us inspect the Fellowship’s new MySpace page, “Tea Party Tracker,” to find out:

Thermodynamics 101
“A watched teapot never boils”? This actually is a common misconception, one studied by scientists on the teevee show Mythbusters and proved to be false.

And now the obligatory blockquote of “real” information:

The site’s success will likely be measured in the “gotcha” moments it can accumulate that aim to embarrass or undermine the Tea Party movement. The submissions will most often come from citizen journalists, who have grown in form and fashion since Sen. George Allen of Virginia was ousted from his Senate seat in 1996 after his “macaca” moment.

Yes, that was fun when the Democratic Party uploaded those WAV files of George Allen’s racist diatribes to their Prodigy account, in 1996. Arianna Huffington (Sauron) is going to be so pissed when she finds out the Fellowship of the Libtard has stolen all of her unpaid citizen journalists and is secretly plotting to throw them all into a volcano, keeping her from becoming more powerful.

Let us conclude this nerd epic by calling on these brave liberals to band together and fight Evil, like the desert Freman warriors in Dune. (And now Yours Truly will never be able to convince a lady to touch him ever again.) [Tea Party Tracker/Fox News]

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About the author

Riley is an "internet blogger." He has written for such internet websites as True/Slant and the terrible Brangelina gossip emporium "The Huffington Post." Riley lives in northeast DC, near H Street. Maybe you do too and want to hang out?

View all articles by Riley Waggaman

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