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American Muslims Unveil Suspiciously Un-Muslim ‘We Won’t Kill You’ Ad

Please take a moment to quietly reflect on how silly it is that a group of American Muslims felt it was necessary to make a depressing video where one of the major talking points is “we don’t want to take over this country.” It’s silly because everything you need to know about this video you learned on 9/11.

The terrorist group that has claimed responsibility for this ad campaign calls itself “My Faith My Voice.” Some of you might be thinking, “I watched the entire video and there were like zero beheadings. What gives?” My Faith My Voice has taken a different approach to fighting Allah’s enemies. Instead of videotaping the white infidels they behead, they videotape themselves telling lies about Islam and Muslims, so that you will be off guard when they strike next:

At a news conference at the National Press Club in Washington, the group, My Faith My Voice, unveiled an advertisement designed to give American Muslims a platform to counter fears about their religion in the wake of the controversy over the proposed Islamic community center in southern Manhattan.

“A lot of people have been telling you what to think about Muslims,” actors of all ages and ethnicities say in succession in the ad. “They say you should fear me, suspect me, hate me. But the truth is, I don’t want to impose my faith on you.”

So basically a persecuted and demonized minority has to launch a public relations campaign to convince a fat, white, brain-dead majority that it won’t kill everybody, in a desperate attempt to persuade said fat, white, brain-dead majority from burning down all the “mosks” or imprisoning all the Muslim babies in detention camps in the desert so that they can’t join Hamas.

Yup, sounds about right! [The Caucus]

About the author

Riley is an "internet blogger." He has written for such internet websites as True/Slant and the terrible Brangelina gossip emporium "The Huffington Post." Riley lives in northeast DC, near H Street. Maybe you do too and want to hang out?

View all articles by Riley Waggaman
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