mustache '12

If John Bolton Was President He Could Bomb Iran ‘Whenever,’ Right?

Add to Flipboard Magazine.

A lady about to board the magic mustache ride.The bow tie hobbits at the Daily Caller landed a hot interview with Neocon Mustache Ride “John Bolton” — the premier authority on America’s #1 most-pressing issue: When Do We Bomb Iran? Bolton explained to Tucker Carlson’s gnome-slaves that bombing Iran is not in Barack Obama’s “DNA,” which sounds sort of racist! Questioning Obama’s genetic makeup because he is too chickenshit to bomb Iran is not racist though, it is just critical, and that is why the Daily Caller gave John Bolton his very own fursona, “critic-in chief.” If John Bolton was commander-in-chief he could stop being so critical and just bomb Iran instead. How about it, John?

“[I]t is a very great honor that anybody would even think of asking. I’m obviously not a politician. I’ve never run for any federal elective office at all and, you know, it is something that would obviously require a great deal of effort,” he said. “What I do think, though, and what concerns me, is the lack of focus generally in the national debate about national security issues. Now, I understand the economy is in a ditch and people are concerned about it, but our adversaries overseas are not going to wait for us to get our economic house in order.”

This is how U.N. elitists such as John Bolton say, “10% unemployment? Hmm. Oh, I know. Let’s bomb Iran.”

Thanks to Wonkette operative “Luke” for this terrible John Bolton-will-do-anything-to-nuke-Iran scoop! [The Daily Caller]

About the author

Riley is an "internet blogger." He has written for such internet websites as True/Slant and the terrible Brangelina gossip emporium "The Huffington Post." Riley lives in northeast DC, near H Street. Maybe you do too and want to hang out?

View all articles by Riley Waggaman


Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!