Bristol Palin Does Next Natural Thing: Dancing With the Stars

Alaska's First Family, the Palin-Johnstons, are at it again today with the expected news that Bristol Palin will perform on a reality teevee show. Were you hoping forJersey Shore IV: Wasilla Dumpster Behind the Tattoo Parlor? Patience. For now, it'sDancing With the Stars, ABC's inexplicable hit from the 1990s about D-list media losers dancing very badly with professional escorts. Everything about the Palins is simultaneously shocking and totally expected.

This is the part of the Wonkette post when we would generally insert a paragraph from a banal news article that sort of states the gist of it, both to save ourselves the trouble and to showcase the "skill set" of America's Internet Journalist Class.

But today, we are just going to say Bristol will drag out her absurd notoriety for another few months, and that porn spread you're all waiting for is at least a few more months in the distance. But it's still not that far away, and there's still a very high likelihood the porn shoot in question will feature Levi taking her from behind, because she's pregnant again. [Just Google It, C'mon]