How embarrassing! Rep. John Fleming of Louisiana was having his diaper changed by David Vitter in front of the “Republican Women of Bossier” when he implied that Democrats are all atheists and thus it is impossible to have bipartisanship. “We have two competing world views here and there is no way that we can reach across the aisle — one is going to have to win,” he said. Oh boy, somebody forgot the talking point about how the GZ MOSQUE is literally a knife (thanks Sarah Palin!) that Muslins are stabbing into white people’s necks. Democrats are not atheists, they’re Muslins, ya doofus!
We are either going to go down the socialist road and become like western Europe and create, I guess really a godless society, an atheist society. Or we’re going to continue down the other pathway where we believe in freedom of speech, individual liberties and that we remain a Christian nation. So we’re going to have to win that battle, we’re going to have to solve that argument before we can once again reach across and work together on things.
“Individual liberties” that do not include the right to build a mosque, you mean, surely. What is this guy’s problem? “DOY, I AM TOO DUMB TO SAY THE DEMORATS ARE MUSLIN, DOY DOY DOY. I GET MY TALKING POINTS FROM 1998. DOY DOY DOY.”
We will help you out with this quote. LET’S TRY IT AGAIN, DODO BRAIN:
We are either going to go down the Muslin road and become like Iran and create, I guess really a woman-hating society, a white-people-hating society. Or we’re going to continue down the other pathway where we believe in freedom of bacon, individual bacon and that we remain a bacon nation. So we’re going to have to win that battle, we’re going to have to solve that argument before we can once again reach across and work together on things. Except the other side has built a mosque over their part of the House floor, and they won’t let us in with our bacon shoes because they hate white people and don’t want us to see their terr’ist plans.
Do we have to be the Republican Congressmen around here? DO YOUR JOB. Or somebody will replace you. [TPM]
{ 54 comments }
This closet case outed in 3…2…1…
Rug or comb-over?
Please discuss.
Silly congressman, Democrats are too chickenshit to be atheists.
I’d really like for a conservative to bravely travel to one of the godless countries in Europe and show all of the ways in which living there is so horrible.
yeah those godless French and Spaniards who worship the Pope and have 10 weeks of vacation. THEY ARE NOT FREE!!!!!!!!
“We are either going to go down the socialist road and become like western Europe and create, I guess really a godless society, an atheist society.”
Rep. Fleming must be a big-time optimist; unfortunately I don’t see this wonderful dream coming true any time soon.
Did somebody repeal that separation of church and state thing while I wasn’t paying attention?
You know red baiting is a lot more effective when you can could point to really unpleasant societies that we wouldn’t want to be like, such as the USSR or Albania.
I mean do most Americans really think the Netherlands or Norway are utter nightmare societies, especially when we boast places like Mississippi and Arkansas.
Of course I ignore the fact that Fleming is talking to an audience that couldn’t tell the difference between Western Europe and a pimple on their ass.
You had me at “bacon nation”……
he looks like dan quayle. the same vacant eyes bespeaking a youthful desire to be liked.
Take Italy, that there is a Godless society. No Christians there, nosiree. They worship pizza pies!
And Spain, a poor Christian is lucky if he doesn’t get tortured in that country!
What the world needs is more Good Christians like Senator Vitter!
[re=646300]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Oh, it’s horrible in exactly the same ways that America is completely unrecognizable from the America of two years ago. Only more so.
The FMLA is a slap in Jesus’ face.
Where’s my freedom to raise an infant while working 50 hours/wk?
We can’t have reacharounds because of the bacon-haters. So sad.
Kudos on the onanphaloskepsistic alt-text, Jack!
SPEAKING OF WHICH:
Every male Wonketteer who can still find it, please stick your finger (or the finger of someone you trust) as far into your belly button as you can, and then report back to us whether doing so gave you a weird, tingly, borderline-unpleasant (but not quite!) feeling in the very tip of your penis.
Thank you in advance for participating in this very important online scientific study.
Now, get pokin’!
HERP DERP Muslins and Atheists are the same thing since they both worship false gods and/or nothing. NOW TREMBLE WITH FEAR BEFORE GOZER THE TRAVELLER! THE DESTRUCTOR IS UPON US!
Obviously, Christians cannot work with Demoncraps on things like highway appropriations legislation – too much friction between their respective belief systems. (Overpasses are not in the Bibble.)
It is hugely amusing that he says this the day after the Salon article that pretty much says that US workers are being royally screwed by their corporate overlords and the US should be more like Germany. *snork*
We are either going to go down the socialist road and become like western Europe and create, I guess really a godless society, an atheist society.
Sometimes I’ll turn on The 700 Club just because I haven’t been masochistic enough that week, and Pat Robertson and whatever feebleminded troll who’s there to prop him up will be reciting the same litany of horrible events that have been happening around the world — but to them all the bad stuff is good news and all the good news is terrifying. Same with this muskrat/human hybrid, apparently — I would be thrilled if we were turning into an atheistic society. Unfortunately this guy’s just an alarmist.
Have any of these people been to Europe? It’s one thing to read Investor’s Business Daily and whatever tripe the CBN is peddling, it’s another to try and learn something in person. You know what’s in Europe? Churches. Tons and tons of churches, of numerous denominations, all over the damn place. Churches the size of airports. Churches with breathtaking architectural complexity, some older than the white man’s footprint upon this continent, that make your average megaparish look like the Wal-Mart with a crucifix that it is. Churches with windows that will make you weep over the beauty the human hand can create. Catholic churches, Lutheran churches, Anglican churches. Churches that people still go to and to which they have family ties stretching back centuries, where they get married and have funerals, where they may not get up there with the “right” translation of the Bible and proclaim how correct they are about everything, but where there still is a sense of place.
Don’t give me this sniping about European atheism just because it fits your reactionary dogma. And freedom of speech also includes people who don’t agree with you, some of whom may be atheists. Figure it out and maybe come back when you understand how to be an American.
[re=646300]AnnieGetYourFun, Fox n Fiends, JMP[/re]: WIN. Yes, dear conservatard Jeebus boy, please explain how life in Western Europe is so very awful.
I think that freedom of speech doesn’t mean what he thinks it means.
And they know how not to clog up the fast lane on the freeways, er, autostrades over there in Europe, too. It’s all good.
As a child growing up in a fundie household, I remember feeling sort of “left out” because I never heard the imaginary voices in my head telling me what to do. Oh, I always suspected nobody else did either, but what was wrong with my imagination? “He speaks to your heart, Roscoe.” Still, I got nuthin’. I became worried.
So now we have the people who hear the voices, (sometimes commanding them to run for US Senate), labeling the non-voice-hearers as bad, and not the types of people who can be trusted. Goddam. That is fucked up.
I’ll see your bacon shoes and raise you some bacon pumps!!!
[re=646299]Spike[/re]: No no, it’s agnostics who are too chickenshit to be atheists.
[re=646329]Prince Padraig I of Cayuga[/re]: If any of these people had been to Europe, they wouldn’t be such ignorant bigoted dipshits.
Speaking as an atheist, I agree that there is indeed an unfilled spiritual void in my life, and it is for that very reason that I worship holes.
In fact, when I feel the need to pray, I drop to my knees, put my hands together, solemly lower my head, slowly wet my lips, and worship those holes so fucking hard that the act is the closest many come to witnessing a truly religious experience (which is kind of ironic, when you think about it.)
[re=646334]Libbygirl[/re]: Yep. That’s the *real* fundamental divide in American society. Say you are given a list:
The fjords of Norway, Paris, Copenhagen, Tuscany, (and, one might add: Montréal, San Francisco,…) and Bossier, Louisiana.
Choose one and only one of these places to live for the rest of your life. The fundamental divide is between those who would choose Bossier and those who would choose any of the other places, and might even choose death rather than live out their lives in a place that would elect a representative like this guy. That is much more primitive and elemental a difference than the atheist / religious divide.
Oh, Oh! Bing bing! Off-message alert! Rep. Fleming forgot to add “Judeo- ” in front of “Christian Nation”. You’re slipping, dude: didn’t you see the memos? You’re not supposed to let the Jews know the second-class citizenship you have planned for them until after you get iron control.
I’m not saying that Fleming looks like the kind of guy who employs a rent boy to carry his luggage, but the professional rent boy association of America has an iron clad privacy clause, which is why Jose/Hector/Juan/Jorge/Jesus has not come forward to spill the beans.
Looks like he got his hair from the same decade that he got his political views from. BURN BABY BURN! Also!
If bacon nation means i get free bacon-welfare then i’m all for it. bring in the pigs
Wait — you spell “terr’st” with an “i”?
I just returned from Western Europe, and you made me sorry I did. Good job.
He’s so right! We need to throw out those European immigrants and their anchor babies and all their descendents before the destroy America. Those “people” with their strange Europe customs are more un-American than a McPizza sandwich with extra dipping sauce. Better safe than to find some Protestant terror-church handing out guns to its disciples.
For that matter, this guy has a pretty “European” look to him. Plus his name — “Fleming” — sounds like part of Belgium. Go back where ya belong ya aetheist!!!
Don’t you get the feeling, with all the anti-Europe
sentiment from these dingbats, that come Spring of 2013 President Palin will
be invading Poland?
[re=646341]gurukalehuru[/re]: He’s also not very good with the logic. It is possible to have a socialist and godless society where we believe in freedom of speech and personal liberty. It is not, however, possible to believe in freedom of speech and personal liberty in an officially Christian nation, since two of those personal liberties are freedom of religion and against establishment of religion.
FIrst runner up in the Michael Scott lookalike context. $10 gift certificate at Chili’s. Thanks for coming.
I thought Republicans were opposed to human cloning.
http://www.bing.com/images/search?q=John%20Mica
Well if we were an atheist nation. Then we wouldn’t be fighting over which fairy tale is the true and right one.
One can only hope.
[re=646346]V572625694[/re]: I like to tell people that the term agnostic comes from a Greek word meaning “I don’t believe in God, but I’m still afraid of him.”
FALSE DICHOTOMY, false hair.
[re=646462]JMP[/re]: Conservative rhetorical jiujitsu: Kinda fun to watch, interesting to puzzle through on a lunch hour, terrifying when you realize the broader consequences.
Notice the expert lumping of free speech, liberty, and dogmatic fundamentalism. Smooth, no?
I’m starting to think that they do this on purpose, so that instead of trying to argue with them people who know better just take their un-Godly “logic” and “understanding” and go away, and unfortunately let them wreak their havoc. Frustrating.
During the 2008 election I was waiting for the “Obama is an atheist” attack, since his father was actually an atheist. The Republicans may be (re)tardy but they never disappoint.
Socialist, godless, hey, that sounds like a big improvement on what we have now.
witness:[re=646501]Prince Padraig I of Cayuga[/re]:
[re=646323]Extemporanus[/re]: I have no sensation there because of past surgeries, so I’m not even going to bother sniffing my finger.
[re=646346]V572625694[/re]: Correct on both points! Agnostics think they’re safe from the Christians along the lines of being able to run faster than the atheists when the cheetah attacks. They are sadly mistaken. If fact, they are hated more than atheists because they don’t even have the guts to take a stand on the issue.
I lived in Europe for two years when I was in the Army and there were plenty of places I wanted to stay, especially Sweden and the Netherlands. Very friendly people, organized societies, you-name-it. Having been stationed in Alabama and Texas, too, I was able to make direct comparisons. You’ve got serious problems if you think AL or TX are anywhere near as nice as NL.
[re=646393]miquonranger03[/re]: Agreed.
http://www.moviestore.com/library/photos/226/226390.jpg
They are definitely sucking around for a religious war in this country. That makes them dangerous, they think God is on their side.
[re=646603]steverino247[/re]: Agnostic, that’s the lazy man’s atheism.
“Reach across,” reach around, it’s all bipartisanship. And Godly.
If there’s one thing I learned from eighteen painful years of fundie Christianity, it’s that Christianity=individual liberties and also freedom of speech! Just so long as you don’t say anything that contradicts church doctrine, or pursue any form of “individual liberty” that’s outside the vanilla norm.
[re=646641]JMP[/re]: “Agnostic, that’s the lazy man’s atheism.”
You can spend hours arguing with someone trying to convince them that unicorns don’t exist, or you can say “I’m agnostic” and just walk away.
Give me the lazy man’s way any day.
Poor old Bumblefuck here’d blow a gasket if he only knew that, in the Western European slave state I inhabit, we actually have an official state religion, presided over by our Monarch, who is (according to the Constitooshun, which is written in Pimms on a public schoolboy’s bare bottom) officially chosen by the Baby Jeebus. Not only that, but under our Godless Death-Panel Healthcare Communism people on low incomes can actually get better wigs than his, for free, paid for by the taxpayer! Lucky we don’t have a second amendment, or we’d all have shot up our local hospitals and doctors’ surgeries by now, for helping the Poors and the Balds and the Poor Balds.
Also (on our days off from toiling at the totalitarian pain-mills) we like to surreptitiously film each other putting cats in rubbish-bins, for yucks.
[re=646323]Extemporanus[/re]: No, but I found a quarter-ounce (by weight, not volume) of lint. Should I mail this to you, or congress?
[re=646344]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: Although I never heard the clearly-defined Voice Of God, I often heard my body talk to me, saying things like, “Me want bacon” or “It’s too hot to go outside, turn on the TV.” Was this actually God’s Voice?
I mean, you think you know what to expect — A resonant, basso-profundissimo w/ a lot of echo, your James Earl Jones, your Orson Welles, your Bea Arthur, your Brian Blessed — but how do you know?
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