how anorexics are created

Socialist Practical Joker Puts Thumb (Foot) On Scale of Capitalism (Scale of People’s Weight)

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Usually it's MICHELLE Obama doing this to our perfectly fit CHILDREN.
President Barack Obama jokingly puts his toe on the scale as Trip Director Marvin Nicholson, unaware to the President’s action, weighs himself as the presidential entourage passed through the volleyball locker room at the University of Texas in Austin, Texas, Aug. 9, 2010. That’s your prez! Always with the jokes! (When he’s not GOLFING.) Nice catch, Souza. [Flickr]

About the author

Jack Stuef is your loyal editor and a freelance satirist or something like that. He is a contributing writer for The Onion. E-mail him or whatever.

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Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • Mad Farmer Manifest


  • randomsausage

    Excellent Presidential Pwnage on the unfortunate Honky. Sucka!

  • The Lucky Republican

    I thought “Dubya” was out of office.

  • just pixels

    And Obama loses a little more of his sole.

    So this is what they mean by “locker room humor”. Not quite what I was expecting.

    When Nicholson noticed he had a third leg, he switched from volleyball to soccer … and never looked back.

  • petehammer

    [re=645734]The Lucky Republican[/re]: Harsh Realm, dude.

  • Ye Olde Fap-Smith

    With the dumb joke and goofy ass posture I swear he’s channeling Bush in this pic.

  • Beanball

    Hey, Jack. Sup dude? Had enuff coffee yet? I only ask because you made two (2) English-language-writing-error mistakes in the last two posts. (There may be more hidden gems, but I haven’t read the rest of today’s site).

    In this here post you write “unaware to the President’s action”, when it should be “unaware of”, and in the last post you wrote “scrap” instead of “scrape.”

    Maybe you need to beat your proofreader harder.

    Just sayin’.

  • lumpenprole

    President Muslin rocks a suit.
    I think I’m having that “ohgod I can never look that good in that” feeling I’ve heard about.

  • The Lucky Republican

    [re=645737]petehammer[/re]: I know he’s just messing around and there may be more context but a picture of a group of yes men laughing at some dude because the boss is picking on him is gross.

  • randomsausage

    Little known fact. University of Texas scales use increments of 100lbs….so El Prez must have been doin’ some mighty foot stompin’ to confuse Whitey.

  • proudgrampa

    [re=645750]lumpenprole[/re]: He IS a good-lookin’ dude.

  • MLM

    [re=645744]Beanball[/re]: Sometimes, the humor just flows, and not even grammar, spelling, usage or punctuation can hold it back. Give our hard-working Jack a break today.

  • AnnieGetYourFun

    This is how Michelle is convincing all the children that they are too fat. And then she rams veggies the size of Brian Williams’ dick down their throats.

  • slappypaddy

    a hall of mirrors, so french (pre-revolutionary). apres barry, le deluge.

  • SpenceRedux

    Wonkette Alert! ken Mehlman is gay! Gay Gay Gay!
    I’m going to go be embarrassed for my people now.

  • AnnieGetYourFun

    [re=645762]SpenceRedux[/re]: Honestly, I can’t believe any self-respecting queer won’t be drowning themselves in whiskey over this one tonight.

  • funkyj

    You’re not a true “joker in chief” until you spring something on a foreign head of state (e.g. Merkel). Foot on scale of non-head of state is strictly little league.

  • OtherNoonan


    I KNEW IT!!!!!!!!!

  • OtherNoonan

    [re=645752]The Lucky Republican[/re]:
    Looks like you just got EVEN LUCKIER!

  • Sharkey

    [re=645744]Beanball[/re]: Uhh, the first one was probably copy-pasted from Flickr?

  • Texan Bulldoggette

    [re=645752]The Lucky Republican[/re]: Lighten the hell up. Get too many wedgies & your lunch money stolen as a child?

  • Accordion-o-rama

    [re=645734]The Lucky Republican[/re]: W’s style was more putting up devil horn fingers behind naked pyramids of detainees.

  • Sharkey

    Where ya been Homer? The entire campaign industry is gay.

  • Jukesgrrl

    [re=645768]OtherNoonan[/re]: Do you think the fact that the Wonkarazzi TOLD Mehlman he was gay eighty-eight million times might have helped him “come to the conclusion that he is gay”?

    But seriously, will The Gheys have someone on their team if the first three letters of his name spells “meh”?

  • weejee

    [re=645771]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Must not have learn basic elementary playground etiquette.

    1. In the winter always wear scratchy wool mittens (you don’t need leather driving gloves for Christ’s sake when you’re in the f**ing 4th grade)
    2. When the bully is picking on you and no stop point is in sight, don’t leave your hands hanging at your side. Bring the left up and start scratching your nose or chin, bring the right up about over your belly button.
    3. Maker sure your feet are about a shoulder’s width apart.
    4. Casually check that no teachers are looking your way, then..
    5. Suddenly lunge forward with your right foot while simultaneously throwing your left for all it is worth at the bully’s nose. Do not hold back! Very important!

    If your oneshot (cheapshot, yes but hey s/he’s a bully) gives the bully a bloody nose, the fight is usually over right then as most schoolyard bullies get real tippy at the sight of their own blood. Iffin’ s/he ducks some and you weren’t able to collect all of the nose as intended, those scratchy wool mittens on the cheek will likely get the bully’s tears a’rollin’ almost as much as the bloody nose. Obs. in spring and fall no mittens, so really stay focused on the nose until contact.

  • RubyLou

    Yeah, that’s Barry Soetoro, alright… always with the jokes.

  • DemmeFatale

    [re=645752]The Lucky Republican[/re]: Lighten up, Francis.

  • BlueStateLiberal

    [re=645752]The Lucky Republican[/re]: No, this is gross:

  • Extemporanus

    Further proof that Barack Hussein Obama is one cold-blooded motherfucker who’s frighteningly adept at manipulating scales.

  • Oldskool

    You can almost hear the producers at Fox deciding how to make this two weeks worth of outrage.

  • synclave

    I’m seeing double here, four Obamas!

  • Gnu Deal Democrat

    [re=645784]BlueStateLiberal[/re]: At least only one of them has his mouth open. I think I now officially hate muslins and want them to move that moosk to Canarsie.

  • Extemporanus

    WHOAH! I just noticed something:

    Presidential spokes-cub Bill “David Blaine” Burton is fucking levitating!


  • problemwithcaring

    [re=645790]Oldskool[/re]: See[re=645752]The Lucky Republican[/re]:.

  • Ye Olde Fap-Smith

    [re=645762]SpenceRedux[/re]: I keep hoping our Wonkettes will break out the festive Drudge sirens.

  • coastingdownhill

    This proves he’s a Muslin. Case closed.


    [re=645762]SpenceRedux[/re]: major alert- Yes- sometimes gay-looking Republicans ARE gay. Even if they have very important antigay jobs. Thanks to Last of the Ambinders for the coming-out scoop. And Mehlman is now dedicating himself to working for gay marriage.

  • Baby who ate the Dingo

    Mehlman is a Muslin gay person, and also secretly black, also.

  • Rajul

    [re=645752]The Lucky Republican[/re]: You know, when I saw this, I was kind of reminded the time Bush had a little joke at the expense of some of his employees, the US military. You know, that time in 2004 when he yukked it up about how there never were any of those pesky ol’ WMDs in Iraq. I mean, except, this kind of looks like it could have actually been at least a little funny, while the whole Bush laughing at all the troops he got killed and then stuffing his face with steak still makes me sick. But other than that, I can see the parallels.

  • tootsieroll

    [re=645756]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: I <3 this post.

  • rocktonsammy

    Our Barry is moar funnier than Bush jr. walking around the hoval office asking Turd Blossom to pull his finger.

    “Got to celebrate it.”

  • N.S.Sherlock

    I had to pause; for a second there I thought his name was Trip Director. Damn that Walnuts.

  • Johnny Zhivago

    This is a well known Muslin practical joke.

  • ladymacbeth

    [re=645796]Extemporanus[/re]: now that’s actually funny.

  • Johnny Zhivago

    [re=645816]N.S.Sherlock[/re]: No, he isn’t from Alaska.

  • sezme

    Now I’m trying to figure out if my comments aren’t appearing because of the new comment system, or the content of my comments pertaining to a certain persona non grata who is male and more “French’s” than “Grey Poupon” if you catch my drift. Did the robot word filters eat my comment, or did I hallucinate submitting it twice now?

  • sezme

    [re=645839]sezme[/re]: Ayup, there’s an anti-condiment fatwa here. Watch out for Ketchuplady (Theresa Heinz), by the way.

  • El Pinche

    It ain’t as funny as drinking beer from a guys butt crack. Now THAT’S funny. Are you missing Bush yet!?!?!

  • El Pinche

    [re=645782]RubyLou[/re]: What’s that in your ear?? That’s my long form !! made ya look!

  • Radiotherapy

    Smug and self-assured. Laughing and kidding whilst a terrorist Imam is building a mosque on our most sacred ground. It won’t be so funny when you become a OTP. When the snowgrifters are driving dirt bikes in the Rose Garden and we are flat-taxed at 10%. This is was MLK Beck means by RESTORING HONOR

  • smitallica

    [re=645790]Oldskool[/re]: I bet it will go something like this:

    “Shouldn’t our President be more concerned with jobs and the economy and the War on Islam instead of messing around like this? Is he not taking his job seriously enough? You decide. Answer our poll.”

    I so wish I was joking.

  • El Pinche

    [re=645796]Extemporanus[/re]: He’s a effing demon! A demon!

  • misanthropomorphic
  • misanthropomorphic

    [re=645752]The Lucky Republican[/re]: Jesus Christ you’re a dick.

  • user-of-owls

    [re=645796]Extemporanus[/re]: Float like a butterfly, etc.

  • SayItWithWookies

    [re=645768]OtherNoonan[/re]: The most shocking part of that article is Mehlman’s regret at the very end:

    “I can’t change the fact that I wasn’t in this place personally when I was in politics, and I genuinely regret that. It was very hard, personally,” he said. He acknowledged that if he had come to terms with his sexual orientation earlier, “I could have worked against [the Federal Marriage Amendment]” and “reached out to the gay community in the way I reached out to African Americans.”

    Like you reached out to who?! Mr. Mehlman, are you familiar with the fact that most blacks and gays loathe the GOP and its repressive, fundamentalist, soul-killing dogmatism at its core? The one it took on in order to more sincerely soak the petty, the weak and the simpleminded who believe that Jesus signed the Constitution, the first five books of which are Genesis, Exodus, Numbers, Leviticus and Deuteronomy? Did you know that your party is so steeped in Old Testament, Old South, Old Granddad and old copies of Birth of a Nation that the blacks and gays who have joined it have apparently joyfully or silently taken up the role of second-class citizen just because they liked your hollow talk about the greatness of the American spirit if it’s unleashed from regulation and burdensome taxes — and now that even that’s been shown to be a lie have absolutely no reason (as Michael Steele said recently about blacks) to support the Republican Party? I mean where you there at all for your tenure as its head? Or did you spend that entire time so deep in fucking Narnia that you also thought you were reaching out to black people, starting a unicorn ranch on Atlantis, solving Fermat’s last theorem and developing fusion power?

  • mustardman

    Why does Obama want white people to think they are fat. Clearly he hates teabaggers. Time to water the tree of librty (sic) with my pee or whatever because I heard that’s what ah should say instead of “I can’t stand the idea of a black man in my whitehouse”.

  • Holding Out for a Hero

    [re=645752]The Lucky Republican[/re]: Don’t you have a former head (hee) of the RNC to crucify tonight?

  • mannacler

    Anybody else think that Ken Mehlman looks like Charlie Sheen’s brother on Two and a Half Men?

  • sati demise

    [re=645752]The Lucky Republican[/re]: Obama has, unfortunately, neglected to give all these men a demeaning nick name.
    Never given any of them a head noogie or a shoulder rub.
    And he has never blown up any frogs with firecrackers.

  • DemmeFatale

    Think Lucky Republican (whatever that means) got the message?

  • gurukalehuru

    Actually, even though Lucky Republican is a dick, he has a bit of a point. The practical joke, as practical jokes go, was rather lame.

    Now, on to more pressing matters. We’re seeing a pattern here with regards to intensely homophobic Republican officials being secretly gay. (Oh, someone had the goods on Kenny boy. That confession wasn’t voluntary, I’ll betcha). We also know that GWB gave everybody around him somewhat demeaning nicknames because he was, in the depths of his shrivelled, misshapen little heart, a dick. My theory is that Karl (Turdblossom) Rove earned his nickname due to a santorum like stain in a floral pattern left after being “rewarded” by GWB for a job well done. Yes, that’s my theory: that George used to fuck Karl up the ass and “turdblossom” was his little code word of endearment.

    Prove me wrong.

  • JackDempsey

    So, they’re spinning this as a practical joke?
    Because it looks to me like an early-in-the-game hokey-pokey maneuver, and a nice one at that. He’s just about to shake it all about, if I’m not mistaken.

  • Smoke Filled Roommate

    That pic reminds me of a strange blend of Norman Rockwell and Mad Men, but with the actual presence of real minorities!

  • Baldar T Flagass

    [re=645878]gurukalehuru[/re]: So maybe Bush’s nickname for Mehlman was “Turdpusher”?

  • Limeylizzie

    Mehlman says he only recently found out that he was gay(!), he should have asked me about 6 years ago, the first time I ever saw him. Such an obvious Republican closet case, God these people must lead such awful lives of repression and self-hatred.

  • queeraselvis v 2.0

    Re: Kenny Boy Mehlman… now we know why Jim the Campaign Guy is so bow-legged.

  • Oblios Cap


    That makes me want to punch Grouchy Smurf!

  • Oblios Cap


    I’m surprised that he hasn’t been given the “poopyhead” treatment yet.

  • Texan Bulldoggette

    [re=645878]gurukalehuru[/re]: Bill Maher outed him in 2006.

  • Texan Bulldoggette
  • Nanks

    [re=645752]The Lucky Republican[/re]: The Lucky Republican = concern troll

    I freakin’ love this photo.

  • lomri

    I have the ability to watch a bad president do stupid shit he thinks is funny and allow that to reinforce my believe that he is a joker, while at the same time look at a relatively good president (I mean, I’m superduper liberal, so I can’t have everything) doing something pretty darn funny and not feel it reflects on his inability to get single payer health care passed.

  • finette

    [re=645744]Beanball[/re]: See how the words are all slanty? That means Jack didn’t write that part.

  • GOPCrusher