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Oh, thank you, North Korean YouTube, that almost looks like a real news segment! Yes, Kim Jong-il gets to paste together another fun photo collage of him with a former American president, and America gets back one of its citizens. It’s a win-win situation! So Jimmy Carter has arrived, and here he is receiving flowers and an angry communist salute from the president of North Korea’s child trade union.

Officially, Washington described his trip as a private humanitarian mission to secure the release of Aijalon Mahli Gomes, an American from Boston who was sentenced in April to eight years of hard labor and fined $700,000 for illegally entering the North.

People fly to North Korea all the time. Business as usual. Nothing to see here. The U.S. does not speak to North Korea, but sometimes its former heads of state go there, coincidentally, on a relaxing vacation.

But Mr. Carter’s trip loomed large because of his track record of helping defuse the first Korean nuclear crisis more than 16 years ago.

Oh good, Jimmy Carter will stop North Korea from building nuclear weapons for another decade and a half while he’s there. And then in another 16 years, he’ll have to do it again, even though he will have disintegrated into a pool of skin and dried-out internal organs and peanuts by then.

We look forward to the photos North Korea releases of this event. Meanwhile, we can imagine Jimmy Carter smiling stupidly at a concert performed by this BADASS child drummer who showed up on the North Korea YouTube yesterday:

FUCK YEAH! SHOW JIMMY CARTER HOW WE ROCK OUT! [NYT]

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RELATED ARTICLESMORE FROM AUTHOR

  • elburrito

    You look vaguely edible.

  • Sharkey

    Needs more cowbell.

  • Baldar T Flagass

    Isn’t that the chick drummer from The 5,6,7,8’s? They sure rocked the House of Blue Leaves. Woo hoo, wu hu hu…

  • slappypaddy

    he’s gone seeking a man. the north koreans will understand.

  • JMP

    Carter will get N. Korea to halt with the nuclear weapons again, until in another decade or so we have a dumbass president who starts making noise about possibly attacking them while getting the US military bogged down in two unwinnable wars, and they’ll think “why not?” and start building them again.

  • Sharkey

    Ohhhh, Jimmy Khat-wah!

  • Lionel Hutz Esq.

    Well, North Korea said it was looking for a man.

    As it is, the $700,000 fine must be 3/4 of North Korea’s budget for this year. It looks like there will be rice to go around for a week, thanks to Americans illegally crossing North Korea’s boarder. Hell, if we did this to illegal immigrants like John McCain and Michelle Malkin, our budget deficit would be a thing of the past.

  • SmutBoffin

    In the future, wars will be fought with drums, and the only thing standing between N. Korea and world domination will be Tommy Lee and his all-terrain drum set.

  • GOPCrusher

    Why doesn’t G.W. Bushyt ever get sent out on peace missions? Sure he went to Haiti, but they barely have a functioning government.

  • Sharkey

    Jimmy will pay the $700k, in the equivalent tons of ginseng.

  • kenlayisalive_dot_org

    North Korea is probably the most advanced country in the world at this point, seeing that they’ve finally created the internet meme-based economy that Marx laid out in ‘Das Kapital’.

  • TheCoolestGuyInTown

    I’m already a fan of whatever all girl rock band that little girl joins.

  • JMP

    [re=645565]TheCoolestGuyInTown[/re]: She actually is pretty good. Sasha Obama/Little Drummer Girl 2044!

  • Hooray For Anything

    There he goes again, the Worst American in the history of the country going off doing yet another humanitarian mission surrendering to another dictator again

  • AnnieGetYourFun

    While I have a stereotypical soft spot in my heart for little Asian kids (as opposed to a hard spot in my pants, like Limbaugh), I have to admit that the way that kid smiles chills me to the core. It’s like the worst of a pageant kid combined with the clown from It.

  • Mad Brahms

    That drum music is like a cross between a Soviet style march, plate-spinning music, and the theme from “Schnappi, das kleine Krokodil”.

  • ladymacbeth

    dprk social media rocks.

  • Accordion-o-rama

    Those drum heads are actually the entrails of traitors to the republic.

    That sound tech will be decorating a drum kit in the near future.

  • trickydick

    [re=645565]TheCoolestGuyInTown[/re]: Forget it — she’s not interested in your taepodong.

  • the problem child

    [re=645686]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Hell, if I’d been half that coordinated at her age, I would have had a huge rictus grin myself.

    Fortunately, my Korean goddaughter is way cuter, so I’m not too put off by this kid.

  • Throgmorton Dustbin

    Any chance of a Constitutional Amendment mandating life without parole for ex-Presidents? He keeps getting worse as he ages. (Kinda like Walnuts that way.)

  • WIDTAP

    It must be disheartening to arrive in a new country only to have some little girl give you the “up yours” gesture.

  • Possum Stu

    It’s true what they say: North Korea is Best Korea.

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