Look at this hot piece of apple pie: he’s ultra-masculine, loves smoking cigars, fetishises puppets, and most importantly, HATES MUSLIMS. This super-hunk, Doug Giles, introduces us to our terrifying future in AMERICANISTAN where Sharia law rules and skunk puppets are no longer permitted to confuse Shania Twain with John Lennon. Shania Twain, incidentally, is one of the few musicians never to have covered the ex-Beatles’ famous anti-burqa anthem, Imagine, but that doesn’t matter, because SHARIA SHIZZLE. [YouTube]
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Black T-shirt makes him evil, evil, evil. I know it ’cause Sharron told me so.
Not gonna watch it…nope nope nope.
The cigar sequence is code for “8 inches, cut, ” forced down his throat. Pretty obvious cry for Obama to violate his Hatch Act.
I would like to imagine Yoko Ono suing the fuck out of this guy.
Also, no country and western music would be a plus.
All important news from now on should be delivered by a skunk hand puppet. It’s compelling force is undeniable.
Wow, Teabagger performance art!
Attn: cigar smokers.
When you put one of those in yr. mouth, YOU LOOK LIKE A DOG TAKING A SHIT. Très Sophistiqué!
In summary, cigars are gross, I am pretty sure that wasn’t that guy’s hand inside of the puppet, and that bar is well-stocked with roofies.
Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.
And sometimes a cigar is a big, brown Muslim cock being sucked on by a skunk-fisting exurbasexual Promise Keeper who likes to hate-jerk to YouTubes of himself getting teabagged by gnu paintings before emailing them to your grandparents.
America is already history when 8000 people spend 4 minutes listening to this asshole.
Needs more talking assholes.
That blue-ish bottle cap in the middle?! Svedka. Sweet, sweet, Swedka. Made right here in … uh … at the liquor store. Which is where I’m going.
[re=645308]SmutBoffin[/re]: I always think “that’s what interracial guy-on-guy fellatio must look like.” Unless the guy has a face that looks like a dog’s ass.
[re=645305]bureaucrap[/re]: “I pierce you with zee ack-ack of love, mon flowerpot!”
[re=645305]bureaucrap[/re]: Oops. Made standard “Its – It’s” error. Apologies to all.
[re=645292]just pixels[/re]: And v-neck t-shirt makes him gay, gay, gay.
“Look at this hot piece of apple pie: he’s ultra-masculine…”
You are kidding, right, Ben? He looks like an American Apparel store exploded all over Rand Paul.
Given that liberals would prefer universal atheism to any religion at all, all I can figure is this whole “America will be under Sharia” bs is cry-for-help projection from the right wingers who secretly are creaming their panties over having that much violent authoritarian religious power over their neighbors. God! A stoning! A stoning! Oh god! Oh god!
Dude, you should get out of your parents’ basement, enlist, and start fighting them Muslims yourself over in Afganistan if you feel so strongly about this.
No more country & western? Where do I sign up?
[re=645335]BlueStateLiberal[/re]: He wouldn’t be able to take his Playboy After Dark bar or gnu etching with him. He could get Cubans cheap in Dubai, Qatar, or Kuwait, though.
[re=645308]SmutBoffin[/re]: [re=645331]OtherNoonan[/re]: [re=645318]Baldar T Flagass[/re]: I turned my head just in time to stop spraying my computer monitor with coffee.
You don’t shove the end of the cigar into the lighter flame, Duffus.
You hold the end close to the flame and gently inhale – the cigar lights itself.
What’s with the puppetmaster? Why does he keep looking up? Is he afraid his “good friend” is going to turn off the camera?
I first I told myself this was a pretty good parody. Then I realized, to my horror, this rube is probably serious…
[re=645330]surfacenoise76[/re]: [re=645331]OtherNoonan[/re]: Hey, I’ll have you both know that I happen to be wearing an American Apparel deep-V t-shirt and freshly cut-off jean shorts at this very moment as well (it’s true!), and I’m most assuredly not gay.
It’s just that — much like g-strings, camisoles, and espadrilles — I find such manner of dress extremely comfortable when the weather gets sticky, and I’m guessing Ms. Giles up there does as well.
[re=645311]Extemporanus[/re]: Personally, “skunk-fisting” gets a big WIN from me!!!
I love learning about all new pornos on the Wonkette.
[re=645304]Baldar T Flagass[/re]: “..and Western?” Are we lost in the ’50′s this morning?
Doug Douchebag has stolen every masculine cliche right out of the Ernest Hemingway playbook, though sadly, he forget to copy the shotgun in the mouth. I can see neckbearded Teabaggers idolizing this cunt as the paragon of manliness, but I am certain my effete, faggoty-ass could knock him the fuck out in a bar fight.
The director added the opening cigar sequence to make sure the world knew a big asshole was coming up.
Cigar? Douchey fashion? Bad art? Hateful, ignorant, right-wing views? Macho posturing? Bad writing? Unfunny comedy?
My god. This guy hit the shit-that-makes me-want-to-punch-you Superfecta.
[re=645355]Tundra Grifter[/re]: “Oh we got both kinds! Country and Western!”
If John Lennon ever stood for anything, it was American supremacy, racism, ending one particular religion, and the sanctity of property rights. Ugh.
“… Christian youth leader Doug Giles, whose 20-year-old daughter played the role of the prostitute ‘Kenya’ in the now-famous videos.”
I now know all I need to know about that…
[re=645331]OtherNoonan[/re]: Yup. Def got that “self-loathing closet-case” thing goin’ on…
[re=645367]tootsieroll[/re]: Sweet! I’ma gonna use that one! It’s mine now! Hell yes – it’s my joke now! I drink green tea all day long. It’s mine!
[re=645342]rmontcal[/re]: No more baseball, too. Where can this paradise be?
We must oppose Sharia law because Muslims can’t own property. That’s why all the Saudis live in poverty.
Unlike the message of Jesus to the rich young man, “Go sell whatever you have and give it to the poor.” Mark 10:21.
This is an example of the Devil citing Scripture for his own purpose, btw.
[re=645311]Extemporanus[/re]: [re=645308]SmutBoffin[/re]: Cigar Dave and his “No Bolshevik, No Socialist Zone” would disagree. Come on, any fetish that involves events with titles like “Chicks With Sticks” has to be OK, amirite?
We are a land in desperate need of more short busses.
That is the gayest racist rant I’ve ever seen! Now bend over and take like a yak, faggot.
“shizzle”? “girlfriend”? OJ and Slingblade references?
Did he film this in the 90s?
[re=645357]Ye Olde Fap-Smith[/re]: He seems to me like an older, racist version of the ShamWow / SlapChop guy. Wonder if there are any assaults on (male) hookers in his past.
This guy will never get a cab in New York.
This guy is a rare type of turbo douche. Why would God allow this?
A fine artist of Muslin animals and all things Muslin.
http://www.douggilesart.com/bio.html
Go and see his fine arts at Motel 6.
[re=645370]Tundra Grifter[/re]: In that skunk-fister’s defense, The Gay Giles Band videos were pretty rad.
(Though I don’t remember a Kenyan prostitute being in any of them — perhaps he’s thinking of Toto?)
[re=645304]Baldar T Flagass[/re]: I would like to imagine Yoko Ono fucking the sue out of this guy. Go ahead, tell me that doesn’t make sense.
[re=645401]JMP[/re]: Yeah! Someone more annoyingly closeted than me!
1. What is that boy doing under the table to “Macho Man Doug”?
2. baseball, hot-dogs, country/western, Ford and Chevy- I can imagine a world without those, in fact none of those things are part of my happy American life…
I believe this guy might be Glenn Beck’s wet dream.
This is a joke, right?
Fantastic audition tape! Too bad The Man Show is no longer running. I can definitely see him as a repeat guest. Maybe SNL? This tape would be a whole lot funnier than one more skit involving Kenan Thompson as the VJ of a public access channel music show.
Until now, I was ambivalent about our creeping fagginess and general pussification. Thanks to a singing skunk hand puppet, my eyes have been opened. Doug — you’ll have to give up your rent boy when the Muslins take over. They don’t like that kind of action, at least not where people can see it
[re=645367]tootsieroll[/re]: I must admit that I do love country, but only the first syllable.
Fuck. That now I have to take down MY gnu painting in order not to look like this doofus.
Jesus Harold Christ — Shania Law? Seriously, mens’ shirts, short skirts? Is it 2006 again already? That’s some mighty clever comedy humor there — where DO they get their ideas?
Holy crap. That wasn’t a parody. What is this world coming to when I think a pretty darn funny parody turns out to be the real thing?
Seriously, I would rather live in Americanistan and wear a burqa then live in this asshole’s idea of America.
It’s not a parody? Damn! I thought(hoped) it was an obviously gay man making fun of the baggers.
(I don’t think Sharia law is macho enough to suit them.)
Here’s a nice little ditty for you Dougie. A real fun singalong.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bs5bnVoZK4Q
[re=645369]JMP[/re]: I was just thinking that listening to that horrible musical number…while having to suppress the rage to go on a homicidal skunk hand puppet murdering spree. Want to know the exact moment when you, the artist have a made a shit fuckin sandwich of a video? When it’s so bad it actually evokes memories of other horrible, painful experiences from the person watching it. Case in point: I haven’t been this angry since I heard Michael Bay is being allowed to direct another film after that latest Transformers (He made two? I haven’t seen the first but if the first sucked as badly as the 2nd did, oh jesus god why!?!) pile of shit. I actually watched the second one with my nephew who is REALLY into transformers recently; I didn’t know this was a sequel or the first one even existed until then but for me it was sort of reliving a cherished child memory from those 80′s cartoons, so I thought “why not?”. Anyhow biggest pile of shit ever, horribly written (I wasn’t expecting Shakespeare but it was bad even for the subject), poorly acted (see previous rejoinder) racist and completely moronic. This Giles guy managed to somehow drag that bile that had been suppressed in the back of my mind with his horrible video; you see folks this video is THAT shitty.
[re=645620]DemmeFatale[/re]: The baggers defy parody. They transcend it. It’s sort of zen, really.
Is that a Liger painting behind him? Napoleon Dynamite would be proud…
There are two people I’m really angry at right now: Benjamin Frisch for posting this video and myself for being dumb enough to watch it for a minute or two. At first I thought it was going to be like other teabagger videos: completely and utterly hilarious in a definitely unintentional way. At the point in which the guy in the gay shirt was urging the rest of us to stop being pansies, it had acheived that level. Then the musical number began and that’s when it most definitely ceased to be funny but became ironic. In my head 1,000 brain cells died the moment I recognized the tune and my expression changed from rye bemusement to “oh god no!” horror…how could anyone be vapid enough to turn “Imagine” which was made AGAINST people like this asshole into propaganda supporting anti-muslim bigotry?!? I just can’t grasp it…I can’t. It’s like one of us turning that Toby Keith shitter about bombing people into well, imagine.
Seriously, and the worst things he can come up with is no more country music or private property? You know who’d love Sharia Law? Republicans so long as they were the administrators which if it ever actually did come to America, they WOULD BE. Fuck you another asshole named Giles (James O’Keefe’s political whore of a sidekick in the ACORN videos was also named Giles), fuck you up your stupid ass straight to fuckyouistan.
Seriously, just what is the deal with all these closeted conservatives pretending to be super-macho hetero types? I don’t get it.
Totally gay.
More Homocon than Log Cabin though.
The former are waaay nellier, and this orange-hued queen has the whole tap dancing in a public lav aura about him.
My girl was out earlier tonight here in Munich, Germany and filmed a gay Judy Garland/Madeleine Kahn impersonator doing ‘Somewhere Over The Rainbow’ and some Sinatra tuneage, and that doesn’t even begin to hold a candle to this in terms of being so completely over the top.
The mind reels.
Who *are* these people?
And why are they so Geigh, Geigh, Geigh?
[re=645370]Tundra Grifter[/re]: You left out that he’s the father of Hannah Giles, who played the part of the ho in the James O’Keefe/Breitbart ACORN sting videos.
That might help us all get a clearer perspective of what happened to that poor girl.
Certainly explains a lot, and who knows, she might be able to use this to prove a case that she was a victim of child abuse.
Shania Twain is Canadian, eh? Think the dude’s in the wrong country.
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