Washington, D.C. looks, like, super-depressed about having to host this weekend’s Glenn Beck’s Lard-Baby Rally & Hate Festival, you guys. When it saw that junky “Restoring Honor” stage banner thingie go up, it felt really embarrassed and even kind of distraught, you know? So it went all gray and overcast. Didn’t feel like sunshining. Seemed so … pointless.
Sigh.
Because it’s land, Washington can’t just pick up and, like, hitch a Chinatown bus to New York City to escape for the weekend, do something cool like that. It has to stay right where it is, and watch all the big ol’ lard babies shiftin’ and jigglin’ around inside their flag-festooned sweatpant-sacks, and listen to the screeches and horror sounds. Poor thing. Hope it doesn’t get too PTSD’ed. [Restoring Honor Rally Facebook page]
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“Washington can’t just pick up and, like, hitch a Chinatown bus to New York City to escape for the weekend.”
Yeah, if Washington wants to bring bed bugs back with it.
The best way to restore the nation’s honor would be for Beck to commit seppuku in front of the assembled masses. The full ceremony — white kimono, full disemboweling, and Keith Oberman as his second, ready to swing the sword before Glen cries out in pain and dishonors himself.
Having that many flat-Earthers in one place may tip the bitch over.
I’m all depressed about it and I’m a few states away.
And the Nation’s honor has been lost because…
Come on, you f**kwads, say it… be honest…
Over/under on number of tractors driven into reflecting pool this weekend?
Anthropomorphism. Washington, D.C. will experience a monsoon to mimic Glenn Beck’s crocodile tears. A few lightning strikes might be nice as well — all those aluminum lawn chairs and metal walkers and such. I have a dream.
Because it’s land, Washington can’t just pick up and, like, hitch a Chinatown bus to New York City
Liberal cities are always making excuses for their laziness!
[re=645106]MarieDeGournay[/re]: I’m all depressed about it and I’m all the way across the country. Poor D.C…right there and all.
Maybe one of the GIs in the statue stage left / house right could sweep the stage with his M16.
This is the sort of occasion that makes the policy of free museums seem insane. One good sprinkle and the National Gallery of Art will be packed with sweaty, dripping Teabaggers.
Holy retarded teabaggers Batman what a bunch of tools. Today we are all Iron Eyes Cody.
Honour. It’s spelled “HONOUR,” people. Restouring, also.
But look how optimistic they are.
Matthew Talsma I’m local to Washington, DC (Northern VA), my father-in-law is coming down from Pittsburgh, and we’ll be traveling to the rally by boat! Yup, cruising up the Potomac, doing my part to keep one less car off the highways or 2 less people on Metro. With this many people converging in Washington, it will be crazy. I hope we get more than Obama’s inauguration! I can’t wait!!!
Remember when the preachers wanted it to rain out Barry’s DNC acceptance speech in CO by praying for rain? Well, get on your knees, Wonketteers, you got a mission!
[re=645109]le petit mort[/re]: I’m thinking more Jazzies than tractors…
Soon the reflecting pool with be wave rocked by a thousand Rascal Hoverbouts and the lard babies that fall off of them
[re=645108]bureaucrap[/re]: lack-bay resident-pay?
Yes, a funny choice of words, “Restoring Honor.” Why does our honor need to be restored? Think long and hard on that one.
[re=645117]Formerly Preferred[/re]: Only to Limeylizzie. and maybe Bearbloke.
Someone could make a killing at this Poop-Fest by setting up a booth…
Spell Check Your Sign For $10.
While you wait!
I’m hoping the Lincoln statue will stand up, scream “Stop using my name in vain, assholes! You guys oppose everything I actually stood for!” and then just start smashing the Beckheads into the hard concrete steps.
By the time we got to Beckstock,
We were half a million strong
And everywhere was a song ’bout Salt in the Wound.
And I dreamed I saw the bomber death planes
Riding shotgun in the sky,
Turning into Predator drones
Above our nation.
Wasn’t “Restoring Honor” the Bush/Cheney 2004 reelection campaign slogan?
Brian Connaghan I’m volunteering at Water/First aid Station #3 until 10:30. That’s on the south side of the Reflecting pool near the WWII Memorial. If you can’t make it, be sure to spend the day in prayer and fasting. And for those who will be there, please pick up after yourself, and then pick up one more. Let’s show the world that we love one another and we care for our Capitol.
Also, stupidity:
Pat E Yarber Been to DC many times…amazing, awesome, a place every American needs to visit to learn/remember how we began as a nation
Glenn Beck is a moron, everyone associated with him are morons, and we all hope there’s a huge turnout of angry, loud and disruptive protestors this Saturday. Everyone should attend with those World Cup horn things, and blow them loudly and continuously the entire time–that would be great.
Glenn Beck is a moron.
[re=645108]bureaucrap[/re]: Precisely, it’s the same as the “I want my country back” bullshit. Back from what, who stole it? It is also ironic that these same eejits are the ones that want to trash every constitutional amendment but the second and they aren’t that damn happy with the bill of rights either.
[re=645128]JMP[/re]: It will be like the end of Don Giovanni!
[re=645132]ArkansasFred[/re]: Riding on the backs of slaves, of course.
I will be biking at “ramming speed” for the next couple of days.
It’ll be interesting to see how many people come to DC — Beck hasn’t been specific about what he’s going to say, how it’s going to be non-political with Sarah Palin giving a yap, or what it’s intended to do. Maybe he’s gonna wave his hands and announce that everyone in the audience is a Mormon now. That would be exciting.
[re=645120]mookworthjwilson[/re]: or maybe jetskis http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_aYe0Dxz32rY/SZzX2–564I/AAAAAAAAAu0/EeTgzG3Lrkk/s1600-h/PDVD_008.JPG
Monsieur Fighting Grumpe: “While you weight,” no?
[re=645118]Limeylizzie[/re]:
Going by boat so that they don’t mistakenly get on the Green or Yellow Metro lines and run into the you-know-whats.
[re=645118]Limeylizzie[/re]:
Soooo, once he travels up the Potomac to the Lincoln Memorial, where does he think he’s going to tie up his boat so he can walk to the rally? Unless they are in a very very small boat, he won’t be able to get into the Tidal Basin and even if he did, the little boat house there isn’t a public dock. Thompson Boat Center? That’s up by Georgetown and a bit of a hike. I’m predicting he either tries to tie up along the road and risks getting turned into a road pizza getting to the Lincoln Memorial OR (and this is more likely) they stay on the boat and drink beer, eat snacks, and talk about “how they were there”.
So Ken, will you be dispatching the Wonkette DC team to the Mall on Shabbat? Perhaps the interns in furries or decked-out like Al Jolson?
[re=645118]Limeylizzie[/re]: Oh, I’m sure that Fox News will have the attendance at at least a million, even if only a hundred losers show up. They’ll probably show images from the actual King rally and claim they were from Beck’s anti-anti-racism rally too; that way they also claim there were black people there.
[re=645118]Limeylizzie[/re]: Good Luck with that. I had a boat at the Pentagon Lagoon (Columbia Island) for years, and gave it up about 6 years ago. Post 9-11, every dumb ass with a boat and a red light (Coast Guard, DC Police, DC Fire, Secret Sevice (really)) would pull up next to your boat, and for no reason ask for “PERMISSION TO COME ABOARD!!!” and if I dared to say “Denied,” I’d get “WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM” (and inevitably two more boats on the way) until I bent over, exposed my anus, and permitted my “implied consent” to be fucking shove up to the third turn in my intestines.
So, bring your SPF 30, a good anus condom, and flush the 4th amendment at the pump out station.
And that was on a good day.
[re=645131]ArkansasFred[/re]: “Let’s show the world that we love one another and we care for our Capitol.”
… by hating on and avoiding as much as possible the actual brown people and socialist race-traitor whites who live there.
[re=645145]Oblios Cap[/re]: I think you’re onto something, as it is well known that “urban” people can’t swim and avoid water at all times.
[re=645145]Oblios Cap[/re]: Maybe they’re hoping they’ll be able to machine-gun some of them river-swimming wetbacks, as a bonus. Oh, wrong river.
Lard Baby Rally. LOL Genius
I for one am dreading this day. I really don’t give a shit about the Teabaggers. Saturday is my errand runing day. If they fucking clog up the GW parkway I will be pissed. I’m one of the Coloreds. Get out of my way or I may breathe on you. Last time I checked, being colored is catching. You may actually get a sense of rythym.
I predict that there will be only about 30 “people” attending. They’re all going to bail ten minutes into it and convene at a fancy restaurant ( Golden Corral). i have spoken.
Truthy fact: Ted Stevens was on Flight 4 from Seattle yesterday on Alaska Airlines (don’t get creeped out but there are dead people on about half of all US flights daily). Maybe afetr Restoring Honor they intend to show Young Frankenstein and turn it into a Restoring Ted party. Or, maybe its one of those Weekend at Bernie’s type things.
D.C. could become a bindlestiff city like Scranton . . .
Wait, I think I used this reference once before here on Wonkette. Never mind.
History, why won’t you just hurry up and judge these fuckers like I know you’re going to do eventually?
Wwwhhhhhjaaa….. Whha Whhaaa…Wwwhhhhaaaa..Whha..whhaa…. your city managers APPROVED the permit to let these clowns in… Deal with that !!!
It’s actually kinda fun, sneak some popcorn into a metro station (not on the yellow or green lines mind you) and watch these Real ‘Muricans try to figure out the metro. It’s especially funny when they all try to fit in the first two cars because they’re too lazy to walk down the platform.
Does the race war start that day? Better go stock up on supplies and munitions(alcohol,’frop, lube).
[re=645117]Formerly Preferred[/re]: Not since Noah Webster wrote An American Dictionary of the English Language. Geeze, otherwise, we’d have things like “aluminium”.
[re=645128]JMP[/re]: I’m hoping the ghosts of the slaves buried underneath the land will get together and haunt the rally, causing tea party heads to explode. Atrophied brains, everywhere. Now that would be fun.
On the bright side, it’s going to be a nice weekend on the west coast, with all the teabaggers gone.
[re=645126]Monsieur Fighting Grumpe[/re]: Not to be a spellchecking pill, wonkEditors, but among the Tags ought to be “under siege” not “under seige.” It’s a very special typo for me harkening back to around 2005 or so when our local Richmond Times Dispatch carried the full headline on the cover: “UNDER SEIGE!” Forgot what the story was, or what in particular they claimed under siege.
F this. I had enough at the last rally (Tax Day, 9/12, I can’t really keep track anymore). I’m out of here this weekend. Beach.
[re=645115]V572625694[/re]: Art museums are too elitist for teabaggers to want any part of, even if they’re drenched. Besides, they have their Thomas Kinkade glow-in-the-dark pictures at home to look at.
And of course, there will be 2, 3, no wait, 5 million gajillion bazillion people on the mall!
Fox News hath said it.
[re=645184]Mumbletypeg[/re]: When I worked at a newspaper years ago, we once accidentally ran “Tit For Tit” in a 36-point headline. We weren’t allowed to use “Tit For Tat” after that.
According to Glenn’s site, teabaggers are strongly discouraged from bringing their studid, racist, misspelled signs:
What can I NOT bring?
• NO signs (political or otherwise) as they may deter from the peaceful message we are bringing to Washington.
[re=645189]ella[/re]: ‘Zactly so. Pitchurs of the nekid too. Also
[re=645195]DC Hates Me[/re]: Translation: NO signs (political of otherwise) as we’re trying to pretend we’re not racist and you guys just keep getting too overt with those things.
[re=645159]Nicnack[/re]: think how high they’ll be able to jump. think of the earthquake when they land.
Ahhh, hell, let the crackers have their fun. Let them recreate Branson, Mo. on the national mall. Let us show our warmth and compassion by ignoring Dorkstock and those who visit it. These are some sad, tired folks who just wish the world would go back to the days of Ozzie and Harriet. They are more to be pitied than feared. Their world is ending and they won’t accept it.
[re=645117]Formerly Preferred[/re]: LimeyLizzie, Bearbloke and Manchu might back you up on that. I spell it honor, just like color, labor and neighbor. Because I’m American. Fuck U.
[re=645115]V572625694[/re]: Free museums are just crawling with the socialisms, I can’t imagine a self respecting ‘bagger would take refuge in such a place. More likely they’ll swarm the local fast food joints and order water, because they’re a pack of broke asses.
“Because it’s land, Washington can’t just pick up and, like, hitch a Chinatown bus to New York City to escape for the weekend, do something cool like that.”
I am in awe of this line’s comedic brilliance.
[re=645184]Mumbletypeg[/re]: “seige” is a color. it’s a washed-out beige. if you are “under seige,” that means a teabagger is sitting on you.
Wishfull thinking perhaps, but I’m betting some freaky-ass shit be goin’ down in DC this weekend. A simulated rapture, maybe? Jonestown II?
Why would DC want to go to New York? It’s already struggling under the (not inconsiderable) weight of the anti-”mosque” Teabaggers. And the bedbugs, also.
Clearly won’t be no racistatism at the Beckapalooza since the Sarah will be there.
Made the mistake of going to the Facebook page. That shit goes beyond funny way into the woods. Somebody should take down these names so we can get ahead of the mental health crisis this nation is facing.
“Debi Pepper I live in Indianapolis, IN looking for a bus that is going to this wondrous event. Please if anyone has information of a bus leaving from here or any other help please it would be greatly appreciated. I feel a need to be there as I think something incredibly special is going to happen.”
Maybe something special will happen Debi, maybe it will.
Restore honor? Glenn says we are no longer an honorable nation. That’s the kind of “blame America” talk that gets Demoncrats in trouble on Fox News. Imagine how Hannity would react if Obama said, “We can once again that shining city on the hill.”
I predict restoring our supposedly lost honor will involve:
- speaking only English
- no First Amendment for muslins, especially half-breed muslins
- Second Amendment remedies
- following the Constitution (again?)
[re=645204]Bordo[/re]: I would pity them more for their world ending if it would hurry up and fucking end, already.
Not to worry, massive and crew. The brothas in DC will work this all out!
I’m actually glad this is all happening because it’ll help my case when I ask the Danish Government for political asylum
[re=645195]DC Hates Me[/re]: You know you got a fucked up movement when you have to explicitly warn people not to bring racist posters.
[re=645195]DC Hates Me[/re]: It’s a scheme to blame all the inevitable racist, misspelled signs on liberal “plants.”
Teabaggers are like warts. You have to keep working on them to make them go away. It’s a slow process, but eventually, they will be gone.
[re=645206]dijetlo[/re]: [re=645189]ella[/re]: Yeah but they loves all them war toys at the Air and Space Museum. Socialism is great when it’s used for blowing up stuff, particularly stuff that belongs to the coloreds.
Restoring Gerunds to the Murrican Vocabulary!
[re=645222]slithytoves[/re]: Debi should check out http://www.greyhound.com
[re=645269]V572625694[/re]: They should hold this rally in Dayton Ohio then. Air Force Museum has quite an impressive array of kill technology on display out at the air force base there.
[re=645269]V572625694[/re]: I love those toys too.
But I also note the hypocrisy that socialized safety from military, police and fire is good, while socialized safety from disease, accidents, tainted foods is bad. I’m sure it’s an important philosophical difference, until you have cancer and no health insurance.
[re=645195]DC Hates Me[/re]: I haz a sad. Somewhere there is a lonely little Tea Bagger that has been working on his “Negroes Back To Africa” sign, all summer long, and now he won’t be able to use it.
[re=645118]Limeylizzie[/re]: Smoke (and Mirrors) On The Water.
[re=645204]Bordo[/re]: Amen
I can’t wait for the inevitable Monday morning videos and photo galleries of these rubes and their racist, misspelled signs. I’d go down and take some myself, but I know I can’t keep a straight face.
I hope they end up surrounded by blacks and Mexi-Ricans. Everywhere they look, everywhere they turn, a potential threat to their cherished lack of culture. Then I hope the fattest, stupidest, drunkest 50-year-old teabag in a Hooters hair-hankie yells the N word, causing Sarah “Cunts” Palin to chant it, for her reloading freedom. Then I hope The End Begins. I have many boxes of cereal for my family to eat while we wait out the zombie holocaust. Any of you would be welcome to stay.
[re=645285]Baldar T Flagass[/re]: [re=645286]just pixels[/re]: I lovz war stuff as well, although not at Neilist’s profound level. Actually there are incredible museums of superannuated aircraft all across the country (e.g., Warner-Robins AFB, GA; March ARB, CA, and many others). You gotta park all that worn-out iron somewhere.
[re=645130]Mid Western Burger[/re]: Wasn’t “Restoring Honor” the Bush/Cheney 2004 reelection campaign slogan?
That was 2000. By 2004, honor was pretty much forgotten and the slogan was “Aauggh, the gays!!!”.
[re=645281]Baldar T Flagass[/re]: Not short enough.
[re=645204]Bordo[/re]: Dude, your little speech so inspired me, I’m going off now to the Mexican restaurant in the worst part of town (also the best Mexican restaurant) and toast a Negro Modelo to that ideal.
Fucking with these guys would be like robbing a deaf person.
Whoever is on right-wing emailing lists or has a freeper account needs to report that “Secret Muslims will be invading the rally. You will be ABLE TO KNOW WHO THEY ARE BECAUSE THEY WILL BE WEARING WHITE SHOES. the Koran specifically says muslims have to wear WHITE SHOES after Ramadan.”
Let the hilarity commence.
Hehe, I will relish wearing my all Arabic language t-shirt downtown on Saturday. Of course, I’ll require an armed escort, but, you know, USA! USA!
[re=645121]Tim[/re]: Oh please, oh please, oh please, can we fill the reflecting pool with crocodiles?
[re=645126]Monsieur Fighting Grumpe[/re]: That’s a brilliant idea. I’ll then donate the proceeds to GLSEN or some other kind of LGBT organization. I think I’ll have to wear fake tits or something though, lest I risk being called a “sissy boy” or some shit…do they make fake beer bellies, or would that just look odd? I don’t think they make “America Fuck Yeah” Teabagger shirts in my size (“Not Circus Tent”)…
[re=645143]chaste everywhere[/re]: Actually,
WHiLE YOU “WAIT”
is correct.
I don’t support Glenn Beck, but there is already plenty of hate on this page to go around.
“Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.
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