Do you need to know anything about today’s announcement of the results of the Obama administration’s “change your state education laws to appease Teach for America hipsters” plan? No, you don’t. You just need to know that David Paterson called it “Race To the Cock.” And really, isn’t that a perfect metaphor for what states were doing to try to get this sweet, sweet federal government money? [Daily Intel]
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{ 39 comments }
Everyone knows where cock is concerned, race is an extremely sensitive issue.
Race to the cock? Don’t mind if I do.
It’s shrinkage! I just got out of the pool.
Governor, would you like the chance to triple your state’s grant, just by trading it for what’s behind door number two?
TelePrompter FAIL!
I think Larry Craig should get credit for “Race to the Cock.”
“I won!”
-Bristol Palin
I absolutely love the smirking woman behind him. She’s about to pee just trying not to bust out laughing, but then you can tell she looked off to the side and calmed herself down by picturing herself winning that race to the cock. WINNER!
i used to play Race to the Cock at this bar near my college. Thursday nights, I think. Those were some humiliating times…
[re=644749]ArkansasFred[/re]: No fair. I think her lane was shorter (for some reason).
The video won’t work in Chrome for some reason
Don’t make me have to use that fascist Internet Explorer Politico!
[re=644737]Sancho[/re]:
“He’s going the distance.
He’s going for speed.
She’s all alone, all alone in her time of need…”
[re=644753]jus_wonderin[/re]: [re=644749]ArkansasFred[/re]: Actually, after getting a head start, Levi finished first and Bristol was forced to drop out.
Did someone mention cock?
[re=644745]Extemporanus[/re]: You know he’s blind right? Or was that the joke?
[re=644761]rafflesinc[/re]: both?
And it looks like Brian Williams is getting a little paunchy. He won’t joust Jenna Jameson that way.
Suddenly, cocks.
[re=644761]rafflesinc[/re]: Teleprompter says:
•• •o •• •o
oo o• oo oo
oo •o oo •o
[re=644761]rafflesinc[/re]: Wait, he’s blind?! Oh my god…BWAAAHAHAHA! That makes the joke even funnier!
Actually, I suppose I suppose I was a bit insensitive — braille TelePrompters are practically impossible to read from across the room, so the Governor’s gaffe is entirely understandable.
[re=644765]american mutt[/re]: You saw what I did there.
[re=644760]Limeylizzie[/re]: Sorry, Lizzie, but the “Race for the Cock” already started, and it was a rather crowded field. The good news, however, is that there are still opens slots remaing for tomorrow’s “Dash for the Gash”!
It’s scheduled for noon — does that give you enough time to warm up?
[re=644788]Radiotherapy[/re]: ⠞⠇;⠙⠗
Race for the cock. Isn’t that the Houston 500?
[re=644789]Extemporanus[/re]: Am I dashing or am I the gash??
Reminds me of when I was listening to a radio broadcast of a high school football game in East Texas one night (don’t ask why), and an excited announcer got his “kick” and “punt” mixed up after a kid made a tremendously long kick: “Oh my gawsh, that was a FORTY ONE YARD KUNT.”
Followed by about five seconds of total on-air silence while the announcer and his sidekick were obviously trying to pull themselves together. And then no further mention whatsoever of the 123-foot vagina…
We’ll know this country is making progress with education when a Palin spawned child actually manages to graduate high school.
Dan Quayle returns.
Shock story from Florida:
7:44 p.m.: From the St. Petersburg Times: Jeff Greene, the billionaire, has a cash bar at his campaign party
The Fix:
24% reporting in FL SEN. Meek leads Greene 53-33. W/16% reporting in FL GOV, Scott narrowly leading McCollum, 46-44
[re=644745]Extemporanus[/re]: Needz moar audioprompter[re=644751]ArugulaTeleprompterz[/re]: This would be your sibling’s department, I assume.
OT: I registered at Intense Debate. Where’s the intensity, sheeple!!
[re=644832]chascates[/re]: How do you think he got to be a billionaire? Charging the morans admission to his billionairistic presence, of course.
I got your education reform RIGHT HERE, pal!
Guess that makes New York the wiener!
As a native New Yorker, I can assure you what he says is neither mistaken nor humorous.
Is it possible to get Lloyd’s of London to insure Extemporanus’ snark?
If only ….
If only David Cameron had made this gaffe ….
[re=644916]Poisoned Rationality[/re]: Long have I suspected that Our Wonkette, Savior of The Interwebs, might be the greatest force in the universe ….
Like Agrippa, I say almost – almost thou persuadest me
[re=644811]Limeylizzie[/re]: Because the “Dash for the Gash” is a relay race, I won’t be able to answer that question until I have a better idea of your baton-handling skills.
[re=644838]WriteyWriterton[/re]: If I’m not mistaken, an AudioPrompter® is what George W. Bush relied upon during his first debate with John Kerry.
[re=644882]AKAM80TheWolf[/re]: Thank you for asking, but I’m fairly certain that Lloyd’s would classify my troubling tendency to snark-mutilate (aka “make typos”) as a pre-existing condition, and summarily deny coverage.
So whose cock was he racing for?
Education reform is really on the balls.
[re=644976]Extemporanus[/re]: Hence the endless repetition then of “…race to the cock, Senator Kerry, heh, heh, heh.”
I can’t even watch this. It’s too cruel. I’ll just have to take your word on it.
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