Michael Steele Says Not All Republicans Want To Racial-Profile Messicans, A HUGE GAFFE

  that's like saying tacos aren't delicious oh wait


WHAT IS HE SAYING?! SPEAK AMERICAN, BLACK MAN. Yes, Michael Steele has made another major boo-boo today, telling Univision that Arizona’s immigration law is “not a reflection of an entire political party.” WHAT? ALL REPUBLICANS MUST ADHERE TO PARTY ORTHODOXY, AND THAT ORTHODOXY SHALL BE DICTATED BY THE MOST EXTEME AND HATEFUL AND LOUDEST. Michael Steele obviously thought that Real Americans could not hear his words behind this Messican talking over him, but we must have sophisticated 21st-century technology that now has let our reporters hear the English that is being said.

“The governor and the people of Arizona made a decision that they thought was in their best interest, and that’s the beauty of a republic, that’s who we are.”

The beauty of a republic is that we can hate people with brown skin and use that to inflame crazy voters and raise money from crazy people, Michael Steele, if those white-sounding words ARE your real name.

He said Tuesday that since the immigration debate is now “in full bloom,” he hopes that “level heads will prevail” in finding a “commonsense solution” to the immigration issue.

What a controversial suggestion! How can he say such things? HOT HEADS must prevail. ANGER SENSE must prevail. If we take the time to think, deliberate, and come up with a reasoned solution, the Messicans will have already taken 100% of our lack of jobs. [The Hill]

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Jack Stuef is your loyal editor and a freelance satirist or something like that. He is a contributing writer for The Onion. E-mail him or whatever.

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