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Shirley Sherrod Displays Best Body Language Ever In Vilsack Press Conference

WE SEE THAT WRY SMILE, SHIRLEY
Oh look, our pal Shirley finally ended her well-deserved weeks of R&R to hold a press conference with Ag Secretary Tom Vilsack-of-poop about him groveling to get her to come back to the USDA. She decided not to take the job, because who wants to work for Tom Vilsack? That’s not exactly titillating news, but what was funny was the body language these two showed in this press conference, and thus we had to make multiple Blingees documenting it.

“WHY ARE HUMAN BEINGS SO MUCH MORE COMPLICATED THAN CORN? CORN WOULD FORGIVE ME FOR FIRING IT.” [WP]

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Jack Stuef is your loyal editor and a freelance satirist or something like that. He is a contributing writer for The Onion. E-mail him or whatever.

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38 comments

  1. jus_wonderin

    [re=644509]SayItWithWookies[/re]: LOL. I read that as Whitney first. I laughed. Then I read what you actually wrote. I howled.

  2. problemwithcaring

    I just love her answer on why. “I really believe that you guys are going to try and be less gullible racist douchenozzles now, but I just don’t wanna test it.”

  3. Hooray For Anything

    I can’t remember who this person is and why she got let go. Wasn’t she what, four “scare Whitey” outrages ago? Wasn’t she the one Bob Woodward caught funneling government money to ACORN so they could set up the Osama Bin Laden Mosque right on top of Rudy Guiliani?

  4. WarAndGee

    You know, why bother working for the public. The reactionaries are targeting teachers, street sweepers, book keepers; anybody who works for the government is fair game and the spineless neo-liberals waffle every time, the gutless turds.

    It’s time to give ‘em what they want. Smash the middle class while claiming to be its savior.

    So take this JOB AND SHOVE IT. Close the schools, close the social security office, privatize the interstate, trickle down on me.

    Let’s become the gun toting, uneducated, material possesion obsessed, failed nation-state the empowered right wingers really want. Come on fuckers, put another nail in the coffin of the middle class. Get your tax breaks. Get YOUR life back. Gate your McMansion.

    Feed us guns, fear, corn syrup and Jesus.

    Let’s be a new kind of Somalia.

  5. JMP

    [re=644524]WarAndGee[/re]: Sometimes, in darker moments, I start thinking it could be fun to see the wignuts get just what they want; I suspect it wouldn’t be very long before there was some actual literal class warfare, like in the French and Russian revolutions, that involved the upper-class’s heads and bodies being separated.

  6. madtowngooner

    [re=644524]WarAndGee[/re]: Exactly. Colbert made the same point last week: Let the market decide whether you should eat e-coli infested meat, not the government. Let the market decide how to control air traffic, building codes, water quality, ad naseum.

  7. Extemporanus

    [re=644517]jus_wonderin[/re]: [re=644509]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Considering that this was a ginned-up controversy, “Whitney” is actually rather apropos.

  8. Tommmcatt

    If I were to illustrate a dictionary, I would use a picture of Justin Bieber to accompany the word “Catamite”.

    Just sayin’.

  9. AnnieGetYourFun

    Is it wrong that I am completely fixated on, and utterly charmed by, baby Winnie the Pooh? Hugging his own teddy bear? It’s so meta and thus both really cute and completely heartbreaking.

  10. One Yield Regular

    [re=644503]LittlePig[/re]: That is the single best idea for improving television since “Winky-Dink and You.”

  11. Lascauxcaveman

    Tom Vilsack: More, or less huggable than Justin Bieber?

    (Excuse me while I go spew my lunch in the nearest trashcan.)

  12. Mad Brahms

    [re=644533]Extemporanus[/re]: That was a long way to go for a joke, even for me, but it sort of works, so I applaud your reach.

    [re=644535]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: If little girls have dolls of little girls, it sort of makes sense, though it also leads to a sort of russian-doll / turtles-all-the-way-down problem…

    What I want to know, though, is what the hell is going on with the Indian-shucking-corn blingee.

  13. Mad Brahms

    [re=644538]Extemporanus[/re]: The second one is still broke. I blame ECHELON.

    [re=644534]Tommmcatt[/re]: Canada did their own “song for Haiti” (“Wavin’ Flag”), which by any measure blew the pants off of of “We Are the World”, and they decided to give Biebs the last line, which was “When I get older, I will be stronger”, intoned by Bieber in his inimitable chipmunk voice. I still sort of wonder if the producers were cracking up hard backstage.

  14. steverino247

    [re=644524]WarAndGee[/re]: Eat the rich? No thanks, I brought leftovers to my government job today.

    For those keeping score, the latest bitching has to do with pensions, which in my case were sweetened so members of the county Board of Supervisors (most of whom rail against their employees for political reasons) could enjoy them, too. Lying bastards.

    Also, there’s media outlets that are seeking salary information from various governments so they can write stories about how much we make. They will forget to take into account that we have to actually deal with the public so whatever we’re paid, it’s not enough.

  15. Extemporanus

    [re=644551]Mad Brahms[/re]: It would not have seemed like nearly such a stretch had I not posted it whilst shitting and iCrapped all over the formatting. But your applause is nonetheless appreciated.

    [re=644555]Mad Brahms[/re]: Hmm…both links are working fine for me.

    Maybe try disabling your “Jungle Fever” filter?

  16. President Beeblebrox

    Naturally, the WaPo comments are a treasure-trove of racist and/or idiotic garbage. What is it about people who comment on newspaper websites?


    “Now comes the law suite”

    “Ms. Sherrod’s ego is getting the best of her. She needs to get off the cross, we need the wood.”

    “Victim, Shmicktim! This woman is a joke. She’s enjoying her 15 minutes of fame on the US stage. Open your eyes, people! This woman is a hard-core racist – and she always has been! You poor saps on this site who are preaching “brotherly and sisterly love.” You look really, really stupid!”

  17. Mad Brahms

    [re=644586]President Beeblebrox[/re]: The honeymoon suite was booked, so we settled for the law suite. The leatherbound books were nice, but I missed the hot tub.

  18. Tommmcatt

    [re=644555]Mad Brahms[/re]:

    He reminds me of an adolescent Liza Minnelli, sans bewbies and and discernible talent, of course.

  19. pdiddycornchips

    [re=644586]President Beeblebrox[/re]:

    Thanks for diving into the swamp so we don’t have to. Who knew Washington D.C.’s trailer park communities got the internets. These people are what pollsters call likely voters. They’re dumb, angry and easily manipulated. In otherwords, they’re teabaggers. God help us.

  20. Hooray For Anything

    [re=644578]steverino247[/re]: I friggin hate those stories. It’s like “Government Workers in Department of Parks and Transportation Live Middle Class Existence at the Taxpayers Expense! Coming up the Special I-Team Report of Your Tax Money Going to Waste.” Same things with pensions which riles people up probably because Government work is the only place that still has pensions. We have the tall poppy syndrome going on in this country in that anybody working at a place that treats it’s workers well or has good health care plans/retirement plans are seen suspiciously by those who get constantly screwed over by their company, screaming the completely reactionary “we have no health care so how dare you have yours!” the whole while instead of the way more intelligent “we have no health care but they do so either give us health care or we’re going to start a union!”

  21. Jukesgrrl

    [re=644524]WarAndGee[/re]: [re=644531]JMP[/re]: When you get that Somalia thing started, can I haz a guillotine?

  22. assistant/atlas

    Wait, did I miss something? What is that young lesbian lady with the bowl cut doing in the all the pictures?

  23. Jukesgrrl

    [re=644551]Mad Brahms[/re]: Nothin’ says agriculture in America like corn. Just ask Senator Grampa Cornpants.

  24. Mr Blifil

    She’s already occupied. Hee present duties involve sitting back in a comfortably upholstered chair while the entire world sucks her dick for the shit she got put through.

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