WEIRD SEX NICKNAMES  9:30 pm August 23, 2010

White House Photo Website Implies Chuck Todd Is Plastic Water Bottle

by Ken Layne

Do *you* see anybody in this picture sporting a bad goatee?Here is the actual caption to this official White House photograph by Pete Souza: “President Barack Obama is interviewed by Chuck Todd, of NBC News, at Gerald R. Ford International Airport in Grand Rapids, Mich., July 15, 2010.” Mmhmm, but we only see one person in this picture and it sure isn’t MSNBC poli-nerd Chuck Todd. Oh wait, what’s that down there by the chair?

Let’s see, let’s see …. There’s an airplane tail, which wouldn’t be referred to as “Chuck Todd” even in the most salacious company. And then there’s the mic cord, which only unionized broadcast-tech professionals would ever slur as “Chuck Todd.” This leaves only the water bottle standing politely below the President:

And the chair is Joe Scarborough?

Whether it’s calling for more offshore oil drilling before trying to ban it all again, calling for religious 9/11 tolerance before saying “Nahh dude we did not mean what we said,” or cruelly referring to a crappy little plastic water bottle as respected political analyst Chuck Todd, this White House has less scruples than a common street whore or mortgage derivatives trader. [White House Flickr]

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Sharkey August 23, 2010 at 9:37 pm

The rear 20 feet of a jet airliner is often referred to as the “choad tawd”. Simple misspelling.

Texan Bulldoggette August 23, 2010 at 9:47 pm

Maybe they broke up & Barry cut Chuckie out of all his pictures (ala crazy ex-girlfriend).

Ye Olde Fap-Smith August 23, 2010 at 9:49 pm

Chuck Todd is a skin-walker! But when he shape shifts what becomes of that glorious, gingery goatee?

Texan Bulldoggette August 23, 2010 at 9:50 pm

Hey, Rachel Maddow just gave Wonkette a shout out RE: the NKorea FB page. You’ve hit the big time now!

Limeylizzie August 23, 2010 at 9:50 pm

OT but Rachel Maddow just referenced Wonkette as “the brilliant website Wonkette” she was talking about Kim Jong Il and the Facebook thingy.

BlueStateLiberal August 23, 2010 at 9:57 pm

Perhaps Chuck slipped on a banana peel off camera, which would also explain the president’s happy smile!

Limeylizzie August 23, 2010 at 9:59 pm

[re=644102]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Oh snap!

Naked Bunny with a Whip August 23, 2010 at 10:01 pm

There’s an airplane tail, which wouldn’t be referred to as “Chuck Todd” even in the most salacious company.

Well, yeah, that’s Gerald R. Ford. Duh.

WriteyWriterton August 23, 2010 at 10:03 pm

I could chuck Todd. Over the side. And chuck Todd, too, the Todd w/ Wasilla Grifter and the phone camera.

facehead August 23, 2010 at 10:10 pm

ALL black presidents have an imaginary friend named “Chuck Todd” … duh!

FlownOver August 23, 2010 at 10:13 pm

It’s the chair! Wooden, folds easily – no doubt about it, that’s our Chucky!

iburl August 23, 2010 at 10:15 pm

Knowing it’s Chuck Todd explains the smile. Chuckles probably made an NFL joke! Ha, the humorousness of pro football and it’s players of renown! Which team are you pulling for in week 2 of the preseason, Mr. President? Da Bears, you say? Ha ha!

If it were another reporter, maybe all these football joshings would have been lost forever! Bless Chuck Todd, bless normalcy and God bless the United States of America!

WadISay August 23, 2010 at 10:16 pm

I bet the interview consisted of Barry saying “let”, “fault” and “advantage, airplane tail.”

Wisco August 23, 2010 at 10:35 pm

Wait, if Chuck Todd isn’t a plastic water bottle, then what is he?

Jukesgrrl August 23, 2010 at 10:41 pm

Don’t plastic water bottles give off noxious fumes when light hits them? Chuck Todd.

Joshua Norton August 23, 2010 at 10:46 pm

Rachel Maddow just referenced Wonkette as “the brilliant website Wonkette”

Thank you. Thank you. I do my best to maintain our high standards.

Trucknutz. Also.

Extemporanus August 23, 2010 at 10:49 pm

[re=644101]Ye Olde Fap-Smith[/re]: Oh my god, do you realize what this means?!

His detractors finally have incontrovertible photographic evidence that proves Barack Obama really is a chimp-like illegal alien!


greenpatches August 23, 2010 at 11:07 pm


chascates August 23, 2010 at 11:15 pm

That’s Obama’s response when asked about people who think he’s a Muslim.

facehead August 23, 2010 at 11:28 pm

[re=644120]Joshua Norton[/re]: That is manifestly flattering coming from such a well-respected intellectual and journalist, the only proportional response is TITS OR GTFO!

Hooray For Anything August 23, 2010 at 11:28 pm

Wait til the Tea Baggers realize that Barry is not only a Socialist Muslin Fascist, but a Socialist Muslin Fascist who has the power to change human beings into inanimate objects.

grevillea August 23, 2010 at 11:40 pm

Only the greatest of all Presidents could lend his name to a landmark like Grand Rapids International Airport. With all its glamorous jetset trans-Lake type services.

SayItWithWookies August 23, 2010 at 11:46 pm

Oh pish-posh — the water bottle would have to sport a goatee that made it look like it just came in second in a chocolate chess pie-eating contest if it really wanted to pass for Chuck Todd. That’s obviously Brian Williams.

gurukalehuru August 24, 2010 at 12:57 am

Wonderful news, but does she read the comments? Hi, Rachel!

Snarkalicious August 24, 2010 at 1:16 am

Holy shit. So that guy who thought he was orange juice was actually Chuck Todd in the dream of a plastic water bottle in the halls of power several hours ago? I need to lay down.

Lionel Hutz Esq. August 24, 2010 at 1:58 am

Hey you guys, stop being mean. It is not Chuck Todd’s fault that he is very, very small.

facehead August 24, 2010 at 2:15 am

[re=644145]free stock tips[/re]: NP Rachel!

imissopus August 24, 2010 at 2:35 am

You drank our Emperor! All hail the new Emperor! Emperor Fry!

BarackMyWorld August 24, 2010 at 2:48 am

Fuck, what a slow news day.

Mad Brahms August 24, 2010 at 3:33 am

Holy moly, we are in the “Silly Season”. Is it bad that I’m hoping for some sort of major scandal soon? I don’t even care who it is! Give us something to grouse / be snarky about, universe.

ThePuckStopsHere August 24, 2010 at 5:06 am

That is, for the record, the Kent County International Airport, renamed a few years ago by some idiot republickin congressman who was all for the county shelling out $275,000 to re-name it for the president from GR who got zero votes and carried zero states before being handed the job in ’74. It was Hoesktra (who ran for governor over the summer presumeably because tired of being the dumbest fuck in the house but lost the primary) or Ehlers. The argument they used was that if the money were spent, one day in the future when they were flying into Grand Rapids with their grandchildren, the could tell the little darlings that they actually knew Gerald R. Ford. The right-wing zealots thought it all to be a capitol idea and forked of the cash for the name do-over.

Come here a minute August 24, 2010 at 5:52 am

Rachel, thanks for reading. As one of your fellow Wonkette readers, I respectfully request that you join in what has been called “the absolute most consistently hilarious group of one-liner writers on the Internet since forever” — our standards are high but I think you just might be able to pass the rigorous commenter screening process. Also, a huge banner ad a la Campbell Brown would be lovely.

You’re way better than Chuck “Water Bottle” Todd!

Come here a minute August 24, 2010 at 6:54 am

Also Rachel, a huge banner ad à la Campbell Brown would be lovely.

You’re way better than Chuck “Water Bottle” Todd!

Aflac Shrugged August 24, 2010 at 7:01 am

Actually, Chuck Todd is invisible to the human eye in this photo, but Obama’s hands are resting on the nape of his neck.

proudgrampa August 24, 2010 at 7:06 am

If a chuck todd could chuck todds, how many todds could a chuck todd chuck?

Hey, I don’t think that’s too bad for 6:00 am Central.

Baldar T Flagass August 24, 2010 at 7:32 am

And the FAA airport code for Gerald Ford International Airport is “GRR.” Grrrrr!
It’s probably called an “international” airport because they sell Nacho Cheese flavored Doritos in the vending machines.

PrimlyStable August 24, 2010 at 7:57 am

26 people have called the photo a favourite of theirs. High standards.

Chernobyl Soup August 24, 2010 at 8:15 am

[re=644168]Baldar T Flagass[/re]: Nice

Johnny Zhivago August 24, 2010 at 8:34 am

You heard it here first: when Comcast takes over NBC, they’re not even going to go to the expense of sending a plastic water bottle to do interviews.

the wiz August 24, 2010 at 11:20 am

1.Piss on a picture of Sarah Palin while saying “I am the President and you can shut the fuck up now.”
2.Order the Secret Service to shoot the next asshole who stands up in congress to say something is a bad idea, without offering an alternative.
3.Stop sending federal money to the state of the next moron who says the stimulas was a bad idea.
4.Nuke Iran just to show the rest of the world we mean business.
5.Send FEMA to Pakistan
6.Ask the next person who says you are a Muslim, what difference it makes.
7.Send Michelle Bachman to North Korea on an undisclosed assignment for an undetermined length of time.
8.Re establish the WPA. They can start by burying all the power lines underground.
9.Require all colleges to lower tuition by 30%
10.See if Mexico will take Arizona Back.

Fuck Toad August 24, 2010 at 12:34 pm

I was interviewing him by hologram, and holograms don’t show up on film. Guess who just lost his invite to the 2011 White House Correspondent’s Dinner? You, Ken Layne. It’s you.

I hear Barack and Carlos Mencia have already started working on a killer rap about immigration, too. You’ll have to watch it on C-SPAN, Layne.


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