unleash the campaign-documents-raken

Levi Johnston Files Candidacy For Mayor of Wasilla Hearts

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Feel free to use this to forge candidacy documents for Levi in your own local elections.
Internet municipal-election registration-document compendium TMZ has obtained Levi Johnston’s Alaska Public Offices Commission letter of intent to run for office in Wasilla. Apparently Levi is running for “City of Wasilla 2011.” Is it possible to be elected a city rather than just elected to an office of that city? IT’S UP TO THE VOTERS.

By filing the document — Levi is permitted to officially begin his campaign … which means dude can legally accept campaign contributions.

Thank you, TMZ campaign-finance legal wonks, for this clarification. So is that where our donations to Mercede Johnston’s blog will go from now on? [TMZ]

About the author

Jack Stuef is your loyal editor and a freelance satirist or something like that. He is a contributing writer for The Onion. E-mail him or whatever.

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Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • chascates

    Finally, the fresh new face Wasilla needs.

  • BlueStateLiberal

    I think Sarah should run too…imagine a Pay for View televised debate between those two?

  • Berkeley Bear

    A bag of crystal meth in every pot!

  • DeLand DeLakes

    [re=643930]Berkeley Bear[/re]: Levi Johnston, Le Bon Snowbilly.

  • JMP

    You shipped over the most important revelation from this document; apparently the Alaskans do give their kids perfectly normal middle names to go along with their inane first names. I’m not sure why the kid goes by Levi when he could be Keith, though.

  • a_pink_poodle

    Who’s Levi Johnston again?

  • Suds McKenzie

    I think he spelled his last name wrong.

  • queeraselvis v 2.0

    I call bullshit. With a last name like Johnston, his middle name should obviously be Hugh.

  • Radiotherapy

    You know who else was big on rubber stamps?

  • freakishlystrong

    WHERE do I donate? It would be utterly delicious if he won.

  • Texan Bulldoggette

    [re=643933]JMP[/re]: I noticed that too about the normal middle name, but then got completely sidetracked by my lovely Brian Williams ad right next to Jenna Jameson’s ad. Boy, those two aren’t mentioned in the same sentence very often!

  • SmutBoffin

    I dunno if he can be a city or not, but I am pretty sure that his nether regions are inhabited, nay swarming, with micron-sized citizens/parasites.

  • Extemporanus

    That’s right, tramp stamp bitches — Levi Keith Johnston has ARRIVED!

  • Extemporanus

    [re=643945]SmutBoffin[/re]: “his nether regions” aka “the bad part of town”

  • Terry


    an f’ing redneck sperm donor.

  • Gratuitous World

    [re=643930]Berkeley Bear[/re]: Meth We Can!

  • JMP

    [re=643944]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: I’ve been wondering who PETA thinks they’re going to attract with that ad, seeing as there’s tons of video already available of Jameson doing just about anything you might want to see her do, that comes from before her face was turned into a ghoulish, inhuman warning of the dangers of plastic surgery.

  • groove

    “…wherein the party of the first, hereonwith known as Dude, is legally allowed to accept campaign contributions.”

    TMZ’s use of the word “dude” was actually called out in the legal document.

  • a_pink_poodle

    [re=643952]Terry[/re]: Well if that qualifies one to be a politician, then I ought to be the next president!

  • jus_wonderin

    I think we need to see his birth certificate.

  • SmutBoffin

    [re=643950]Extemporanus[/re]: Insecticidal shampoo and condoms would make a good campaign donation.

  • McDuff

    Several times a “Jenna Jameson ad” has been mentioned in various comments. However, the U.S. Guberment firewall used at my office seems to block it from my screen. DAMN YOU and your anti-aged porn star fire wall, Uncle Sam.

  • Extemporanus

    [re=643955]groove[/re]: The Dude resides.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    [re=643943]freakishlystrong[/re]: I’ll do you one better – I want him to win, and I want him to be a really great mayor. Wouldn’t that just asplode just about everybody’s heads?

    Then onward to the governorship!

  • Monsieur Grumpe

    I can’t wait for his website. His resume is going to read like a Jughead comic book.

  • forgracie

    This really is turning into Idiocracy isn’t it?

  • jus_wonderin

    I can’t fault him; with Sarah as his most immediate political example. I mean, she makes it look easy.

  • Radiotherapy

    [re=643970]forgracie[/re]: You laugh, but first the mayor of Wasilla and then the burning of the Reichstag in Juneau.

  • Monsieur Grumpe

    Is he running as a Republican, Democrat, Independent or Stupid?

  • bfstevie

    [re=643928]BlueStateLiberal[/re]: The new junior senator from Connecticut can be the moderator. Who would be better suited than carny folk?

  • Bordo

    I see this as a wild, crazy ploy to get Bristol Palin Virgin back into his manly, snowbilly arms. He’ll need to go some to outdo Mama Malaprop. She inherited a balanced budget when she was elected mayor of Wasilla, but the town was $22-million in debt when she left, mostly because of the athletic center she started to build before the town had clear deed to the land. Mama Malaprop should’ve consulted one of those elites to learn a little something about real estate law. Her stupidity cost the Wasillans millions in legal fees.

  • meufchelou

    Well, it’s worth it just for the info on the upcoming trainings, new educational materials and report deadlines. You never know when you might need those in Wasilla.

  • Joshua Norton

    Hey, the kid can write his name. He’s already as qualified as Palin for the job.

  • TeddyS

    Mucho success wishes to Levi. Then, beyond all anticipation, we will all be able to know the names of two…TWO … mayors of Wasilla, Alaska. Talk about contaminating brain cells for nothing.

  • Come here a minute

    Month, year, and location of election FAIL.

  • sanantonerose

    The CAPS/no caps way he spelled his name speaks volumes about his personality.

  • zhubajie

    [re=643976]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: Raving Loonie Party


    Thru a paperwork mix-up Levi accidentally becomes Wyclef Jean’s vice-president.

  • Accordion-o-rama

    Naked ambition.

    At least, we can hope.

  • Buttery1000

    No fax machine. How is he going to communicate with anyone in Wasilla?

  • The Greatest American hero

    Looks like he doesn’t have a e-mail address. Was Ricky_Keith_Hollywood@playgirl.com taken?

  • proudgrampa

    Aaaaah. The Dumbing of America.

    Heaven help us.

    We ARE freakin’ doomed.

  • facehead

    [re=644068]Buttery1000[/re]: Usually you get three other relatives and a very large tarp, then you wait for a meth lab to blow up, whereupon you create smoke signals.

  • madirishman

    [re=643928]BlueStateLiberal[/re]: A steel-cage death-match debate between Levi and Sarah! The winner takes the mayoralty of Wasilla! Vince McMahon would crawl naked through miles of broken glass to promote that!

    The best thing about America? Any idiot can run for office.
    The worst thing about America? Any idiot can run for office…and often wins.

  • Can O Whoopass

    My Johnson could do a better job!

  • Brendan

    Initially I was offended that he didn’t follow the “Month, Year, Location” format requested. Then I realized the printed example ALSO does not follow that format. I’m starting to gather why Sarah Palin was so superelectable in Wasillastan.

  • Enslave the Whales

    Jack, I’m going to nit-pick your nit-picking. The form asks for the identity of the election, not the office he plans to run for.

    BTW, this is not the start of a new rag-on-Stuef campaign. It’s just that Levi is funny enough by himself that it seems a little “fish, barrel” to go after him when he does something (almost) right.

  • rmjag

    is scott brown gonna campaign for him – or endorse him ? they are both playgirl (gay) centerfolds so they should watch each other’s backs . and they should wear jockstraps only , just for excitement . they could do a fund-raising sex carnival in wasilla , the san francisco of alaska …

  • SayItWithWookies

    When the average Wasillan thinks about what he wants in a community leader, does he think, “I want a guy in charge of this town who has his own last name tattooed on his arm. His ex-fiancee’s name tattooed on his ring finger is just the icing on the cake.”

  • Diamante

    Trailer Trash Chronicles Part I – moving on up to the big city.