Levi Johnston Files Candidacy For Mayor of Wasilla Hearts

by Jack Stuef

Feel free to use this to forge candidacy documents for Levi in your own local elections.
Internet municipal-election registration-document compendium TMZ has obtained Levi Johnston’s Alaska Public Offices Commission letter of intent to run for office in Wasilla. Apparently Levi is running for “City of Wasilla 2011.” Is it possible to be elected a city rather than just elected to an office of that city? IT’S UP TO THE VOTERS.

By filing the document — Levi is permitted to officially begin his campaign … which means dude can legally accept campaign contributions.

Thank you, TMZ campaign-finance legal wonks, for this clarification. So is that where our donations to Mercede Johnston’s blog will go from now on? [TMZ]

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Hola wonkerados.

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chascates August 23, 2010 at 3:18 pm

Finally, the fresh new face Wasilla needs.

BlueStateLiberal August 23, 2010 at 3:19 pm

I think Sarah should run too…imagine a Pay for View televised debate between those two?

Berkeley Bear August 23, 2010 at 3:20 pm

A bag of crystal meth in every pot!

DeLand DeLakes August 23, 2010 at 3:24 pm

[re=643930]Berkeley Bear[/re]: Levi Johnston, Le Bon Snowbilly.

JMP August 23, 2010 at 3:24 pm

You shipped over the most important revelation from this document; apparently the Alaskans do give their kids perfectly normal middle names to go along with their inane first names. I’m not sure why the kid goes by Levi when he could be Keith, though.

a_pink_poodle August 23, 2010 at 3:25 pm

Who’s Levi Johnston again?

Suds McKenzie August 23, 2010 at 3:28 pm

I think he spelled his last name wrong.

queeraselvis v 2.0 August 23, 2010 at 3:30 pm

I call bullshit. With a last name like Johnston, his middle name should obviously be Hugh.

Radiotherapy August 23, 2010 at 3:31 pm

You know who else was big on rubber stamps?

freakishlystrong August 23, 2010 at 3:32 pm

WHERE do I donate? It would be utterly delicious if he won.

Texan Bulldoggette August 23, 2010 at 3:32 pm

[re=643933]JMP[/re]: I noticed that too about the normal middle name, but then got completely sidetracked by my lovely Brian Williams ad right next to Jenna Jameson’s ad. Boy, those two aren’t mentioned in the same sentence very often!

SmutBoffin August 23, 2010 at 3:32 pm

I dunno if he can be a city or not, but I am pretty sure that his nether regions are inhabited, nay swarming, with micron-sized citizens/parasites.

Extemporanus August 23, 2010 at 3:34 pm

That’s right, tramp stamp bitches — Levi Keith Johnston has ARRIVED!

Extemporanus August 23, 2010 at 3:36 pm

[re=643945]SmutBoffin[/re]: “his nether regions” aka “the bad part of town”

Terry August 23, 2010 at 3:40 pm


an f’ing redneck sperm donor.

Gratuitous World August 23, 2010 at 3:40 pm

[re=643930]Berkeley Bear[/re]: Meth We Can!

JMP August 23, 2010 at 3:43 pm

[re=643944]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: I’ve been wondering who PETA thinks they’re going to attract with that ad, seeing as there’s tons of video already available of Jameson doing just about anything you might want to see her do, that comes from before her face was turned into a ghoulish, inhuman warning of the dangers of plastic surgery.

groove August 23, 2010 at 3:43 pm

“…wherein the party of the first, hereonwith known as Dude, is legally allowed to accept campaign contributions.”

TMZ’s use of the word “dude” was actually called out in the legal document.

a_pink_poodle August 23, 2010 at 3:44 pm

[re=643952]Terry[/re]: Well if that qualifies one to be a politician, then I ought to be the next president!

jus_wonderin August 23, 2010 at 3:47 pm

I think we need to see his birth certificate.

SmutBoffin August 23, 2010 at 3:49 pm

[re=643950]Extemporanus[/re]: Insecticidal shampoo and condoms would make a good campaign donation.

McDuff August 23, 2010 at 3:49 pm

Several times a “Jenna Jameson ad” has been mentioned in various comments. However, the U.S. Guberment firewall used at my office seems to block it from my screen. DAMN YOU and your anti-aged porn star fire wall, Uncle Sam.

Extemporanus August 23, 2010 at 3:50 pm

[re=643955]groove[/re]: The Dude resides.

Lascauxcaveman August 23, 2010 at 3:51 pm

[re=643943]freakishlystrong[/re]: I’ll do you one better – I want him to win, and I want him to be a really great mayor. Wouldn’t that just asplode just about everybody’s heads?

Then onward to the governorship!

Monsieur Grumpe August 23, 2010 at 3:56 pm

I can’t wait for his website. His resume is going to read like a Jughead comic book.

forgracie August 23, 2010 at 3:57 pm

This really is turning into Idiocracy isn’t it?

jus_wonderin August 23, 2010 at 3:58 pm

I can’t fault him; with Sarah as his most immediate political example. I mean, she makes it look easy.

Radiotherapy August 23, 2010 at 4:05 pm

[re=643970]forgracie[/re]: You laugh, but first the mayor of Wasilla and then the burning of the Reichstag in Juneau.

Monsieur Grumpe August 23, 2010 at 4:10 pm

Is he running as a Republican, Democrat, Independent or Stupid?

bfstevie August 23, 2010 at 4:26 pm

[re=643928]BlueStateLiberal[/re]: The new junior senator from Connecticut can be the moderator. Who would be better suited than carny folk?

Bordo August 23, 2010 at 4:29 pm

I see this as a wild, crazy ploy to get Bristol Palin Virgin back into his manly, snowbilly arms. He’ll need to go some to outdo Mama Malaprop. She inherited a balanced budget when she was elected mayor of Wasilla, but the town was $22-million in debt when she left, mostly because of the athletic center she started to build before the town had clear deed to the land. Mama Malaprop should’ve consulted one of those elites to learn a little something about real estate law. Her stupidity cost the Wasillans millions in legal fees.

meufchelou August 23, 2010 at 4:29 pm

Well, it’s worth it just for the info on the upcoming trainings, new educational materials and report deadlines. You never know when you might need those in Wasilla.

Joshua Norton August 23, 2010 at 4:30 pm

Hey, the kid can write his name. He’s already as qualified as Palin for the job.

TeddyS August 23, 2010 at 5:34 pm

Mucho success wishes to Levi. Then, beyond all anticipation, we will all be able to know the names of two…TWO … mayors of Wasilla, Alaska. Talk about contaminating brain cells for nothing.

Come here a minute August 23, 2010 at 5:45 pm

Month, year, and location of election FAIL.

sanantonerose August 23, 2010 at 5:45 pm

The CAPS/no caps way he spelled his name speaks volumes about his personality.

zhubajie August 23, 2010 at 6:11 pm

[re=643976]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: Raving Loonie Party

NYNYNY August 23, 2010 at 6:22 pm

Thru a paperwork mix-up Levi accidentally becomes Wyclef Jean’s vice-president.

Accordion-o-rama August 23, 2010 at 6:55 pm

Naked ambition.

At least, we can hope.

Buttery1000 August 23, 2010 at 7:23 pm

No fax machine. How is he going to communicate with anyone in Wasilla?

The Greatest American hero August 23, 2010 at 7:27 pm

Looks like he doesn’t have a e-mail address. Was Ricky_Keith_Hollywood@playgirl.com taken?

proudgrampa August 23, 2010 at 7:37 pm

Aaaaah. The Dumbing of America.

Heaven help us.

We ARE freakin’ doomed.

facehead August 23, 2010 at 7:59 pm

[re=644068]Buttery1000[/re]: Usually you get three other relatives and a very large tarp, then you wait for a meth lab to blow up, whereupon you create smoke signals.

madirishman August 23, 2010 at 8:01 pm

[re=643928]BlueStateLiberal[/re]: A steel-cage death-match debate between Levi and Sarah! The winner takes the mayoralty of Wasilla! Vince McMahon would crawl naked through miles of broken glass to promote that!

The best thing about America? Any idiot can run for office.
The worst thing about America? Any idiot can run for office…and often wins.

Can O Whoopass August 23, 2010 at 8:37 pm

My Johnson could do a better job!

Brendan August 23, 2010 at 9:07 pm

Initially I was offended that he didn’t follow the “Month, Year, Location” format requested. Then I realized the printed example ALSO does not follow that format. I’m starting to gather why Sarah Palin was so superelectable in Wasillastan.

Enslave the Whales August 23, 2010 at 10:59 pm

Jack, I’m going to nit-pick your nit-picking. The form asks for the identity of the election, not the office he plans to run for.

BTW, this is not the start of a new rag-on-Stuef campaign. It’s just that Levi is funny enough by himself that it seems a little “fish, barrel” to go after him when he does something (almost) right.

rmjag August 24, 2010 at 1:01 am

is scott brown gonna campaign for him – or endorse him ? they are both playgirl (gay) centerfolds so they should watch each other’s backs . and they should wear jockstraps only , just for excitement . they could do a fund-raising sex carnival in wasilla , the san francisco of alaska …

SayItWithWookies August 24, 2010 at 1:21 am

When the average Wasillan thinks about what he wants in a community leader, does he think, “I want a guy in charge of this town who has his own last name tattooed on his arm. His ex-fiancee’s name tattooed on his ring finger is just the icing on the cake.”

Diamante August 24, 2010 at 8:00 am

Trailer Trash Chronicles Part I – moving on up to the big city.

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