at one with nature and the way

Alvin Greene Goes Golfing With Golf Club, PRESIDENTIALLY

Always occupied with rewards and punishments, what leisure have men had to rest in the instincts of the nature with which they are endowed?.
If you guys ever want to hang out with Alvin Greene, just call him up. He’ll do it. He’s no snooty Confucian.

Greene said Sunday’s game was an opportunity to bring attention to promoting tourism, one of his campaign planks. He said he has visited the Grand Strand nearly every summer of his 32 years.

We now have FOUR planks! Alvin Greene: He thinks on his feet.

For Shea and the other members of the Kennedy Group, a band of golf buddies that plays together often, it was a chance to get to know Greene a little better in a non-campaign setting.

Some were disappointed when Greene called it quits early, having overdressed for the weather.

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“I think he just got overheated,” Shea said. “We were going to host him for lunch.”

He must have had some Daoism stuff to attend to.

A terrific photo gallery is here, and thus we have to do more than just a single half-assed Blingee.

There you go, Alvin.

Looks like his site is still down. Perhaps if we call him, he will let Wonkette be his official website. [Myrtle Beach Sun News]

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Jack Stuef is your loyal editor and a freelance satirist or something like that. He is a contributing writer for The Onion. E-mail him or whatever.

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31 comments

  1. JMP

    I’m shocked to see there’s actually a golf course in South Carolina that’ll let a black Senate candidate play.

  2. Snarkalicious

    [re=643844]chascates[/re]: Alvin Greene doesn’t bone enough skanks to make the comparison valid.

  3. SmutBoffin

    From the look on Alvin’s face in the golf cart pic, I can only surmise that he is thinking, “I never thought that when I ran for senate that I might have to hang out with dorks.”

  4. ella

    [re=643836]Joshua Norton[/re]: And he can stop wearing lipgloss while he’s at it. Is he auditioning for Project Runway or sumpin’?

  5. Gratuitous World

    [re=643881]Suds McKenzie[/re]: alvin – there’s a brown audi in my parking space. Please have it towed away immediately.

  6. dijetlo

    Dorks play golf, Sifu Greene seeks to complete the yang desire of the ball for the hole through the application of yin in the form of a six iron.
    [re=643865]ella[/re]: [re=643836]Joshua Norton[/re]: We can all look forward to the day he’s forced to eat cockroach ejaculate on some reality TV show for washed child stars. Or , if that genre continues down it’s well defined path, shortly they’ll just vivisect them on national television for our amusement. In either case, I look forward to following this talented young mans career.

  7. Truculent

    I see his media campaign is in high gear. The shirt is the message — on to victory, Alvin!

  8. superdave

    Obvious reverse pivot. All his weight is on his back foot at the finish. Also what kind of golf club always T-shirts?

  9. Baldar T Flagass

    [re=643881]Suds McKenzie[/re]: My Caddyshack allusion was going to be “Be the ball, Alvin.”
    Or “This crowd has gone deadly silent. Cinderella story. Out of nowhere. An accused pornographed now about to become the Master’s champion. It’s in the hole!”

  10. Beanball

    Walking down the fairway one afternoon, Green and his caddy were accosted by a fan seeking an autograph. Without a word, Green swung his club and dashed the fan unconscious. Stunned, the caddy asked the Master, “Oh, Perfect Master, isn’t striking a fan unconscious bad for your Karma?” Without missing a stroke, the Enlightened One replied, “Maybe, but it’s definitely good for his.”

  11. ArugulaTeleprompterz

    That golf stance just screams slice. I hope they weren’t betting on every hole or Alvin’s campaign warchest would be thoroughly depleted…

  12. Lascauxcaveman

    [re=643946]Beanball[/re]: Jesus and Buddha were at the tee of short par-4 with a pond right in front of the green, and Jesus says to Buddha, “Whatd’ya think? A three-iron to get over the water hazard from here?”

    Buddha says, “I’m gonna lay up, I can’t make it over in one.”

    Jesus replies, “Tiger Woods could make over with a three iron. I’m going for it.”

    Jesus takes a mighty swing and manages to land right into the middle of the pond. “I’m going to take a mulligan on that,” and walks out to the pond to retrieve his ball. Buddha is waiting for him on the tee when the foursome playing behind them comes up and sees Jesus walking on the water, fishing around to get his ball back.

    One guy in the foursome says to Buddha, “Who does that guy think he is? Jesus Christ?”

    Buddha says, “Nah, he thinks he’s Tiger Woods.”

  13. Extemporanus

    [re=643863]Zadig[/re]: Thank god for handicaps!

    [re=643962]Tundra Grifter[/re]: Greene’s keeping is a dirty job…

  14. sezme

    [re=644035]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Boy, if I understood golf (as well as Alvin Greene does), I’m pretty sure I’d be rolling on the floor right about now. But no buddhism mosques on the green, okay, because it’s TOO SOON and never forget.

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